Reds rarely if at all tend to show emotional vulnerability. To put themselves out there, whether consciously or unconsciously, is totally opposed to their personality. When emotional vulnerability is demonstrated, it is best to allow the Red to express himself without too much reaction from you. To empathize and express compassion is not the best way to handle it, either. The Red will feel uncomfortable to hear such reactions of understanding and consolation. What has worked for me in dealing with Reds is to pretend to ignore emotional vulnerability. Instead, I make an objective statement about the reason for his or her response without touch

In March 2007, Van and I had been training out West and were traveling back to Missouri. We were really, really hungry for an old-fashioned hamburger and had stopped several times along the way looking for one of those “greasy, hole-in-the-wall” kind of places, but we couldn’t seem to find one.    We stopped at an old truck stop on the Missouri/Iowa line to buy a bag of M&M’s and a cup of coffee. Much to our surprise, when we walked into the truck stop, we were met with a most wonderful fragrance: the smell of “the old-fashioned hamburger” we had been looking for the past 200 miles. We were so excited! We knew we had fou

It's the hap-happiest season of all…or is it?  According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, many people experience "the holiday blues" this time of year. "While the majority of people surveyed reported feelings of happiness, love, and high spirits over the holidays, those emotions were often accompanied by feelings of fatigue, stress, irritability, bloating, and sadness." Each of us moves into the holidays with mixed feelings—some joy and some trepidation. Even those who love this season can experience times of high emotion and demands, which can leave many people feeling stressed and exhausted. Following are a

Gratitude. When someone mentions this word, how does it resonate with you? Do you think about 2021 being a particularly tough year with more blows than you thought you could stand? Or do you immediately go to looking around at your material items? Maybe you are naturally grateful and can see the positive amidst a sea of challenges. I wasn’t built with a sunshine disposition. (Have you guessed my color yet?) I have to work at it, and yes I have to work at knowing and naming what I am grateful for. It takes work. (Ok, I’ll fess up. I’m a Red with a strong secondary Blue.) Can you relate? As we are traveling through this holiday seas

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and then we must use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” - Anthony Robbins Have you ever noticed how GOOD it feels to be really listened to? It’s impactful and conveys respect and value.  The ability to effectively communicate with others remains the single most important factor on a leader’s list of attributes. A big part of effective communication is active listening.  Unfortunately, one of the big communication challenges most people face is that we don't actively listen to understand.

I come from a line of Blue women. My maternal grandmother was a Blue. My mom is a Blue. I am a Blue. And if I could give any advice to those who know, live with or love a Blue, it is that Blues need to be appreciated. I remember my mom making each of us kids either call my grandma or write her a formal Thank You card every time she gave us a present. Yes, it seems like an obvious thing to do as an adult, but I always felt so silly and a little embarrassed calling her and having what seemed like a serious conversation to 8-year-old me. But my Blue mom knew that HER Blue mom needed to hear that “Thank you.”

As

Recently, I have been re-reading the business bestseller, "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. Crucial conversations are defined as a dialogue where "opinions vary, stakes are high and emotions run strong." A principle premise of the book is that people well-skilled in language start to plan the conversation "in the heart." “Start with the heart” is actually the second step of the seven-step process. This refers to the questions you ask yourself when planning a crucial conversation. With over 4 million copies sold, these writers certa

I recently read that although the United States as a whole has a Blue personality culture, Hawaii’s culture is White. Having a strong White secondary myself, I was interested to observe this when I took my first trip to the Aloha State a few weeks ago. After anticipating this trip for many years, I wasn’t surprised to learn how much I loved the paradisiacal beaches and lush jungles of Kauai. But what did surprise me was how quickly I felt like I fit into the peaceful and kind culture of the Island. It was evident even at the airport that this was definitely a White personality culture!  It’s no secret that our world isn’t exactly

Color Code describes the Red/Red relationship as ‘fireworks,’ and for good reason. A Red/Red relationship can be powerful, productive, and satisfying in business or your personal life. But it can also be problematic—full of animosity and angst. Reds are natural leaders. They are decisive, assertive, and excellent at delegating. They also have the natural limitations of being bossy, argumentative, and demanding—times two. When there are two Reds in a relationship and both need to be the boss, neither wants to be told what to do. Recipe for disaster? Yes and no.  There is a lot of power behind this highly motivated duo. Red

I’ve been teaching Color Code interpersonal communication workshops for nearly ten years. Early on, I came across a question from a participant for which I thought I had an answer. “But what if I don’t know THEIR color?  It’s not like everyone has taken the assessment.” “Well, there’s an addendum to this course called ‘quick-coding.’” At this point, I transitioned to the quick-coding slides and pointed out the cards that teach some quick-coding strategies. Then the student said, “Yeah, this is a little helpful, but I don’t think it’s fool-proof. What if we get it wrong?” The whole class delved into a r