“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and then we must use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” – Anthony Robbins

Have you ever noticed how GOOD it feels to be really listened to? It’s impactful and conveys respect and value. 

The ability to effectively communicate with others remains the single most important factor on a leader’s list of attributes. A big part of effective communication is active listening.  Unfortunately, one of the big communication challenges most people face is that we don’t actively listen to understand. We listen to reply. 

How many times have you forgotten the name of someone who’s just been introduced? It happens all the time.  Why?  Because people pay only scant attention to what is being said. They’re already formulating their reply or have mentally moved on to the next topic or person.

Reds and Yellows usually have the most difficulty when it comes to active listening, because they are either only half-focused on the conversation, or their attention span doesn’t have time for long, drawn-out stories or explanations.

However, Blues and Whites can also struggle with active listening.  A Blue might get stuck trying to understand a particular statement while the conversation has moved on.  And a White can become so busy analyzing the words that have been used, they miss the essence of what is being said.

In a nutshell, everyone faces challenges when it comes to giving their full attention to “here and now” conversations. To help us keep our listening channels open, here are five communication traps any color could easily avoid.  See if you can identify the most likely personality color to fall into these traps.

1. Tuning Out—Not paying attention to the speaker due to disinterest in the speaker or subject.  Thinking about other things or multitasking.
2. Rehearsing—Concentrating on what to say or do next rather than focusing on the speaker’s message. Planning the next steps before the speaker has finished.
3. Detachment—Remaining emotionally detached from the speaker, concerned with content only and not the feelings behind it. Only half-listening or not interacting, thereby missing the message’s underlying meaning.
4. Judging—Having a different opinion that causes the listener to block out new ideas and information. Overanalyzing the speaker’s underlying meaning, causing you to miss the point.
5. Controlling the Conversation—Failure to allow the speaker to talk at his or her own pace. Constantly interrupting with comments or questions.

When you find yourself facing one of these common listening traps, it’s time to adjust your communication style to meet the needs of your listener. 

If you’re guilty of any of these communication traps, take a moment to assess why, and then, using what you know about the driving core motive of each personality color, refocus your attention and take responsibility for becoming an effective, active listener.

Active listening is everyone’s responsibility. If each of us takes the time to really listen to what others say, think, and feel, I believe we’ll foster a better sense of community and stronger understanding between all people. 

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Carol Westberry was introduced to Color Code in 1994 and certified as a Color Code Trainer in 2011. Carol has made Color Code and the principles outlined by Dr. Hartman an integral part of her human resources professional services and client trainings. A fun-motivated (flaming) YELLOW, Carol uses her natural talents of enthusiasm and optimism to guide her clients through all the serious facets of human resources. Her career includes being a certified Human Resources professional in the corporate as well as the consulting worlds, a management and leadership trainer, an international best-selling author and an accomplished workshop and seminar presenter. As a featured speaker at numerous annual conferences and conventions, Carol has designed and delivered HR Compliance Color Code-focused workshops to thousands of people. Carol is married to her high school sweetheart, has traveled extensively, and admits that she plays “at” playing golf. She also enjoys reminding her Red husband that she is the only one in the family who has ever made a hole-in-one.