How to lose your best employees

You put a lot of attention into your search and hiring of a high-quality employee. It took 42 days and cost the company $4,129, but it paid off. He accepted your offer. This new employee received a competitive salary and excellent benefits—everything that will make him happy.

You put him in a department that best suits his impressive hard skills; confident he will bring much-needed value to the team. At first, he proved to be everything you had hoped for. His enthusiasm was infectious, and the team began outperforming their previous numbers.

Then, the subtle changes begin. He still has a strong work ethic but no longer seems excited about the job. His coworkers are feeling it, too. From previous experience, you know this is just the beginning. Soon, he’ll become disengaged and start wearing interview suits to work. He’s already headed for the door.

Trying to get a handle on the problem, you call in his manager, who blithely comments that he was working outside the job’s scope. Now he isn’t.

Managers can play a major role in designing motivating, meaningful jobs. The best managers go out of their way to help people do work they enjoy—even if it means rotating them out of roles where they’re excelling.

Yet, managers are keen to put hard skills into play without discovering more about employees’ needs and wants—the actual gauge of happiness and productivity. What excites them? What are their passions? Equally important, what pushes their buttons? What makes them regret their decision to accept your offer?

Personality plays a huge role in what an employee needs and wants in a job and what they don’t want. Based on each color, here are some sure-fire ways to have them heading for the door:

REDS

Don’t allow them to lead

Reds are natural leaders. If you put them in charge of a project, it will get done. They thrive on challenge and productivity. They measure their success—you don’t have to do it for them.

Embarrass them publicly

Nothing will get a Red’s dander up more than criticizing them in front of their peers. Reds need to be respected, and that means looking good at their job. When addressing issues with a Red, do it behind closed doors. Be direct, specific, and logical.

Ignore their ideas

Reds are visionary. They can look forward and see each piece neatly fit into the puzzle. When they present an idea, we often don’t even know there is a puzzle. It’s easy to discount ideas, but remember, Reds don’t make hasty judgments. They weigh everything based on how successful it will be for them. If you ignore their opinions, you may eventually have a competitor rather than a valued employee.

Use an authoritarian approach

“Because I’m the boss!” is a phrase that will backfire whenever used on a Red. It isn’t legitimate. If you want a Red to come around to your way of thinking, present your issues in an unemotional, factual manner. They will respect you for it.

BLUES

Don’t express appreciation

If you want to lose a valued Blue, ignore their accomplishments. Otherwise, express your appreciation often and sincerely. Blues go to great lengths to make sure that their work is complete and accurate. There are times you might view their work as overkill, but take the time to listen and compliment their thoroughness. 

Make them feel guilty

Blues are loyal and committed, and because of that, can be guilted into most anything. They will stay up all night to complete a project, even if they feel conflicted about their priorities. 

Ask them to make a quick decision

Blues need time to mull things over before they make a decision. Yes or no answers won’t be forthcoming. They will need to explain how and why they made the decision. 

WHITES

Force confrontation

White personalities will go out of their way to avoid arguments, even if they believe they are correct. Give them a chance to collect their thoughts and present their opinion. Hear them out in a quiet, non-confrontational way.

Demand leadership

Most White personalities are content to contribute from a comfortable, non-threatening space. They don’t appreciate office drama. If a White shows an ability and desire to lead, they will be great at it, but persuading them into accepting a leadership position they don’t want would be a mistake.

Be domineering

White personalities often keep their feelings to themselves, so if they don’t react to your dominant behavior, don’t be fooled. Whites are silently stubborn. Don’t mistake their silence for acquiescence. Learn to read the signs.

Expect immediate verbal expression

When it comes to verbal expression, Whites need time to form a logical and conclusive response. They are rarely “knee-jerk” in their opinions. Be patient. Your wait will pay off. 

YELLOWS

Discount them

Yellows are intelligent, creative, and socially dynamic. It would be a mistake to discount them as lightweights. In addition to the hard skills they possess, they bring a lot to the table. They are upbeat and positive, and it rubs off on the team. Their people connections are invaluable to the company.

Control their time

Seriously, it can’t be done, and you will only be frustrated and make them resentful if you try. That’s not to say you won’t get a Yellow’s time in abundance. If they are excited about a project, you’ll be getting emails at all hours of the night. Yet, Yellows can only handle stressful situations for short periods of time. 

Ignore them

Yellows are motivated by praise and appreciation—preferably in front of their peers. Don’t ignore their accomplishments. If they have done a good job and you let everyone know, they will want more and perform better to get it.

Be sober in your criticism

Yellows resent authority and can be defiant of leaders, but they accept guidance. By couching your criticism as upbeat and optimistic coaching, you will get a much better result. 

To keep your star employees, involve them in deciding where is the best fit for them. Creating a workplace that meets employees’ needs and wants is a win/win for the company and the employee. Employee engagement and retention will improve if they love what they are doing. 

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Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.

What to Know About Dating a White Personality

When you’re dating, have both eyes open. When you’re married, keep one eye shut. 

 This is the advice from the mother of one of my clients. My client, a Blue personality, was dating somebody with a White personality. He was patient and kind, and she felt secure and comfortable. She was familiar with the Color Code, as she had participated in the communication training, and eventually became my workshop assistant.

 She told me that knowing his strengths and limitations opened her eyes to who she was dating. She was more patient with the limitations of the White personality. For example, he wasn’t verbal about his emotions. 

 Without knowing the Color Code, that would have been a red flag for her, especially if it was someone she was considering marrying. She knew not to force him to share his feelings, though. If he did share his feelings, they could have been dishonest just to keep the peace. But although she was patient with him, it was definitely out of her comfort zone to wait for him to express himself and not know all of his emotions. 

 I asked her how she reconciled this limitation if he was going to become her husband. Her response was that he proved to be loyal and sincere. His gift of clarity shined, because he knew how she was feeling. He always asked her how she was doing and kept asking until he really understood how she felt.

 Even though White personalities are not strong in expressing emotion, he demonstrated strong emotional intelligence. If he would have defaulted in both little expression of feelings and a lack of emotional intelligence, the relationship would have died.

Why don’t Whites express their feelings? For him, he didn’t need her to know how he was feeling. It wasn’t important to him in the relationship. They did end up getting married, and several years into their marriage, she started to push the issue of knowing more about his emotions. By the time they reached this point, he was secure in the relationship, and it was a fair trade.

 At a certain point, when couples know each other well, it may be appropriate to push for something that is uncomfortable for the other person. However, it should be done with care. For my client, she needed to know how her husband was feeling. This is also a demonstration of strong emotional intelligence. He was secure enough at that point to have that conversation.

 When dealing with White personalities, we must be sensitive to their needs while also being honest about our own. It is possible to have a relationship with respect for both parties. You just have to keep working at it. We love our friends with White personalities! For our readers with White personalities, what is it about expressing emotion do you find challenging? Let us know in the comments below!

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Denise Parmenter is an organization and relationship coach who can work with any business or organization, learn their vibe, and give them the communication tools necessary to foster organizational change and bring explosive growth and impressive results to the bottom line. Denise offers a transformational edge while preserving what you do best. She has a Bachelor’s degree in communication focused on interpersonal and marriage studies. She is an International Coaching Federation coach, the gold standard in coaching, and has an SHRM-CP, a human resources certification.

Using the Color Code to Strengthen a Boss-Employee Relationship

Editor’s Note: Names have been changed in the following story to protect the individual’s identities 

In my executive coaching practice, I have found that differences in communication styles can play a larger role in someone’s success in an organization more than other skills. That was the case when Barb reached out to me about some difficulties she was having with her boss in her new job.  

In addition to training webinars, I use the Color Code as a tool to help solve real-world business problems. Barb was brought into a mid-size industrial organization to lead their HR department.  She was so excited for this new opportunity as it represented a promotion, more money and growth for her career. In her new role, Barb was reporting directly to the CEO. This was exciting, but she had to admit that she was a little bit intimidated.  Her new boss was asking her to be a thought partner and to be more strategic. He wanted her input on compensation strategies and employment engagement.  Barb was excited about these initiatives, but she did not seem to be connecting with her new boss. They were different. Barb was located in the South, and Pierre’s office was on the West Coast.  Pierre, who had previously been a CEO for another company, was very strategic. Barb, a first time HR Partner, was very tactical. Pierre was French and Barb was African American. 

When she zigged, he zagged.  When she went right, he went left.  Have you ever had a boss that you just could not connect with? “We seem to be speaking two different languages,” Barb told me during our initial discovery session.  Her boss even mentioned a performance improvement plan during their last one-on-one meeting. This implied that her new job was in jeopardy!

Barb came to me six months into her new role. We discussed her situation in depth, and then we put together a plan. I use the Color Code as my initial assessment in my coaching practice. I have found that it serves dual purposes: It helps the leader to articulate their strengths and limitations, and it allows me an opportunity to get to know them from an objective perspective. In Barb’s situation, we went a step further.  We used the “Quick Coding 101” tool to determine Pierre’s Color Code. The Quick Coding 101 Tool helps you guess the primary and secondary colors of an individual who may not have taken the training.  With this information, you can intelligently adjust your communication style and better connect to the recipient of your information.  That’s when the puzzle of Barb and Pierre’s relationship began to come together! 

Barb is a primary White personality with a Blue secondary. Very task-oriented, Barb often needs time to gather her thoughts about a response to Pierre’s requests.  She was not confident speaking “off of the cuff” on strategic subjects.  After discussing Pierre’s communication style, we determined that Pierre is a primary Blue with a secondary Red.  

I suggested that Barb alter the manner in which she presents information to Pierre. She could start by preparing an agenda before each meeting. That way she would feel more prepared for each interaction and not be forced to speak “off of the cuff.”  This could give her more confidence, which would put Pierre more at ease. In addition to this, Pierre, as a primary Blue, is emotional.  I suggested that Barb invest a little time at the beginning of each one-on-one connecting with Pierre emotionally. “How was your weekend, Pierre?” “How are the kids?” And because Pierre is a secondary Red (and complex), Barb should follow up each meeting with a document to track progress on each task. This will give the Red in Pierre a logical sense of accomplishment!

Barb made these changes to her delivery style and experienced a  breakthrough in her relationship with Pierre.  After weeks of successfully delivering to Pierre, Barb went from being an employee in danger of losing her job to a high-potential employee.  Barb was recommended to attend training at the company’s home offices in France! Two years later, she was recommended for a promotion. 

With a deeper understanding of her own skills and some intentional thoughts about the wants and needs of her listener, Barb began to reach her full potential. Have you ever experienced a miscommunication in the workplace due to personality differences? How did you resolve it? Let us know in the comments below. 

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DC Lyons is the owner of Korrior, Inc. He is a licensed Color Code Trainer and John Maxwell Certified Trainer/Coach/Speaker. His first book, “With Worn Out Tools: Navigating the Rituals of Mid Life” will be released later this year.

Learning to Become a Perfectly Imperfect Blue

As a Blue who loves to talk about feelings, it wouldn’t surprise any Color Code aficionado to learn that I am an advocate for going to therapy. I believe everyone can benefit in some way from attending therapy, no matter their personality type, mental well-being, and life circumstance. A few months ago, I decided to “graduate” from seeing my therapist of two years. She and I bonded during our first session over both being Color Code fans, and her Red logic gave me great insight into my Blue emotions. 

One of the things I worked hard to overcome during my time in therapy was my crippling perfectionism. Ever since I was a little girl, I have obsessed over cultivating the perfect life. My Red/Yellow best friend used to tease me at recess in second grade by telling me my hair was messed up so I would take it out of its clip and attempt to redo it. My little hands could never replicate the hairdo my mom had styled for me that morning, so I would proceed to agonize over my fellow classmates seeing my normally perfect hair with a crease in it. Another area I had to be perfect in was being perfectly on time for things. My other best friend’s mom (a kind White) used to have to assure me that the clock in her car was running fast when she would drive us to school and I was fretting over being late. I still remember the awe I felt when I was rewarded for having perfect attendance in First Grade. I was the kid who didn’t enjoy missing a day of school. Imagine getting behind on all that homework! 

My perfectionism was somewhat manageable as a child, especially since I had parents who could “fix” everything for me at the end of the day. But it became too much to live with when I became an adult, and it interfered with every area of my life from my career to motherhood. After having my second baby in 2020 in the midst of a global pandemic, I chose to focus way more on perfectly balancing my life with two children instead of giving myself the grace every new mom deserves. Days after giving birth, I was back to deep cleaning my whole house. I couldn’t wait to get back into my intensive daily workout routine, and I desperately wanted to have a schedule. However, it turns out that sleepless nights, a two-year-old, a newborn, and the perfect schedule don’t really mesh well. 

Looking around my home and seeing binkies and burp cloths lying on every surface was a constant reminder of how disorganized I felt. Whenever my baby wouldn’t nap or I didn’t have time to work out, I panicked. I constantly felt like I was struggling to come up for air. Enter my therapist, Rosey. I explained how debilitating my anxiety over my perfectionism was, and she helped me see that as a Blue, my perfectionism was largely rooted in having control. Blues need security, and in my case, I need to have control over my own life to feel secure. Rosey pointed out that it was possible for me to have control while also letting go of my perfectionism. It was as simple as this: Whenever my life felt out of control, I would stop and recognize that even though things couldn’t go perfectly in that moment, I could still have control over the choice I would make in that situation. For example, if I left my house a mess because I was taking my kids to meet their cousins at the waterpark, I could stop and recognize that my choice in that moment was to prioritize fun. I would get to the cleaning later. On another day, I might have chosen to let my toddler watch a little too much TV because it was important for me to have some extra time to clean the house and feel organized. I needed to recognize that in my busy stage of life, it really wasn’t possible to “do it all,” but I still had the choice of what was most important for me to do in that moment. And while sometimes that was cleaning the house and getting a workout in, sometimes it was asking my mom to watch my kids so I could take a much-needed nap. Sometimes it was eating dessert before lunch with my little boy so he could have a fun memory with his mommy. And sometimes it was simply choosing to be really present with my kids and ignoring my to-do list since I knew I had made the choice to be a mom, and I wanted to be a good one.

Now, months later, I feel immense happiness thinking about all the ways I’ve overcome my perfectionism. Do I still love a clean house and a cute hairdo? Of course! But I also sigh with relief when I remember I don’t worry as much as I used to about perfectly pleasing others or being right on time to every function. I was always meant to be imperfect, and it feels really good to perfectly fit that imperfect role. 

If you are a Blue personality who resonates with these woes of perfectionism, I advise you to try focusing on the control and the choices you do have amidst the chaos of life and comment below to let us know how it helps you!

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Megan Christensen is a Blue who has been writing her feelings for as long as she can remember. Megan graduated from BYU-Idaho in 2014 with a degree in communication. A lifelong fan of the Color Code, she’s thrilled to be the content editor of the blog and hopes to help as many people as possible become more self-aware. When she’s not writing, Megan can be found reading, doing yoga, and spending as much time as she can outdoors.

 

 

The Value of Having Self-Aware People in the Workplace

Many of the world’s most successful business people such as John D. Rockefeller and Jack Ma as well as renowned psychologists and researchers including John Mayer, Peter Salovey, and Daniel Goleman, have for years touted the importance of emotional intelligence in leaders as a critical factor for a company’s success. 

But what about the rest of those at a company? 

Does increased emotional intelligence in managers, employees, and staff directly translate into more effective, higher producing, and happier teams at work? 

In an article titled “What Makes a Leader,” written for The Harvard Business Review, Daniel Goleman makes some great points about self-awareness that I feel answer this question when examined in an employee context, which I have attempted to do here.

Also, I will take things one step further by giving examples from a Color Code lens to showcase how a simple personality assessment can give employees a tool to double their self-awareness in less than an hour.

But first, just so we are on the same page, let’s define what emotional intelligence is: 

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others,” according to Psychology Today. 

To drill down on that a little deeper, according to Daniel Goleman, the renowned American psychologist and researcher who helped to popularize and define emotional intelligence, there are five key elements to it:

  • Self-awareness
  • Self-regulation
  • Motivation
  • Empathy
  • Social skills

It’s interesting to note that from our 30+ years of research into personality at Color Code, we’ve found that self-regulation is something that tends to come naturally to White personalities. Motivation is something that tends to come naturally to Red personalities. Empathy is something that tends to come naturally to Blue personalities. And social skills tend to come naturally to Yellow personalties.  

However, self-awareness is something that doesn’t seem to come naturally to any of the personality types. Yet, it is the easiest way to boost a person’s emotional intelligence.

So What Is Self-Awareness?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines self-awareness as conscious knowledge of one’s character, feelings, motives, and desires.

Okay, got it. So How Does Self-Awareness Help My Team Members?

Truthfully, there is a myriad of ways. However, in the interest of time and keeping Daniel Goleman’s article in mind, I’ve identified in his article five of the strongest ways team members and companies will benefit when given tools and opportunities to increase their self-awareness.

Let’s dive in!

  • Self-Awareness Helps Team Members Keep Their Cool

In his article, Dr. Goleman writes, “People who have a high degree of self-awareness recognize how their feelings affect them, other people, and their job performance. Thus, a self-aware person who knows that tight deadlines bring out the worst in him plans his time carefully and gets his work done well in advance. Another person with high self-awareness will be able to work with a demanding client. She will understand the client’s impact on her moods and the deeper reasons for her frustration. ‘Their trivial demands take us away from the real work that needs to be done,’ she might explain. And she will go one step further and turn her anger into something constructive.”

So not only does an employee having self-awareness help them plan tasks accordingly, but it also helps them take a step back from their emotions and then harness them into a productive context instead of being ruled by them.

From a Color Code perspective: Knowing the strengths, limitations, needs, and wants of your personality in contrast to those of others is incredibly helpful in mitigating frustration because you can see where both you and they are coming from and are empowered with tools to “speak their language.” Also, knowing your own color helps you to take a step back and consider how your actions or words might be being interpreted. Not to mention you can create systems and plans for work tasks that both leverage your strengths and help compensate for your natural limitations. 

  • Self-Awareness Helps Team Members Find Their Place To Shine & Grow

Dr. Goleman goes on to explain that, “Self-awareness extends to a person’s understanding of his or her values and goals. Someone who is highly self-aware knows where he is headed and why; so, for example, he will be able to be firm in turning down a job offer that is tempting financially but does not fit with his principles or long-term goals. A person who lacks self-awareness is apt to make decisions that bring on inner turmoil by treading on buried values. “The money looked good so I signed on,” someone might say two years into a job, “but the work means so little to me that I’m constantly bored.” The decisions of self-aware people mesh with their values; consequently, they often find work to be energizing.”

Team members that are self-aware are much more likely to find opportunities at work that speak to their interests and strengths rather than just chasing the money. This helps tremendously with employee retention and effective teams because not only will team members want to stick around, but their drive will be for more than a paycheck and thus be happier and more effective all around.

From a Color Code perspective, knowing what drives you can help you make important decisions about what careers to consider, what promotions to seek, and where the best fit might be for you in a company. It helps you see talents you have and weaknesses that should be addressed if you want to thrive in the career or job of your choosing.

  • Self-Awareness Helps Team Members Manage Constructive Criticism

Next, Daniel Goleman goes on to write, “Self-awareness can also be identified during performance reviews. Self-aware people know—and are comfortable talking about—their limitations and strengths, and they often demonstrate a thirst for constructive criticism. By contrast, people with low self-awareness interpret the message that they need to improve as a threat or a sign of failure.”

I wanted to focus on the “they demonstrate a thirst for constructive criticism” part. This is HUGE. Because, let’s face it, when most people are criticized, many times they want to get defensive, rationalize, blame others, or minimize the issue. BUT, if we can teach our teams to view constructive criticism as a gift to improve and an opportunity to learn rather than some sort of attack that requires a counter-attack, our teams will innovate much faster and conflicts at the office will be reduced. 

For a Color Code example, a Red personality that naturally wants to hide insecurities tightly can learn to put systems in place that invite feedback and criticism as part of company culture and opportunity for growth instead of getting defensive. Or on the flip side, when giving constructive criticism, a Red can consider the color of the personality whom they are providing the feedback and adjust their message accordingly. 

  • Self-Awareness Helps Team Members Know When To Ask For Help

Dr. Goleman also writes that “Self-aware people can also be recognized by their self-confidence. They have a firm grasp of their capabilities and are less likely to set themselves up to fail by, for example, overstretching on assignments. They know, too, when to ask for help. And the risks they take on the job are calculated. They won’t ask for a challenge that they know they can’t handle alone. They’ll play to their strengths.”

When your team members have more self-awareness, they, in turn, have a very valuable type of self-confidence. It’s a type of self-confidence that is based in truth and will ultimately get the right people in front of the right tasks more often.

For a Color Code example, someone who is aware of the strengths and limitations of their core personality color can feel a sense of confidence in their strengths and play to them as well as take steps to create systems or surround themselves with team members that help offset their natural limitations. 

  • Self-Awareness Helps Team Leaders Assess Accurately

 The final quote I want to highlight from the article by Dr. Goleman is: “Leaders are constantly required to make judgment calls that require a candid assessment of capabilities—their own and those of others. Do we have the management expertise to acquire a competitor? Can we launch a new product within six months? People who assess themselves honestly—that is, self-aware people—are well suited to do the same for the organizations they run.”

As a leader, you need to have the right people on your team to accomplish the goals of the company. Do you have the right people for the job? How can you train your team members to have the skills they need to take your company to the next level? Having self-aware managers, team leaders, and team members helps everyone take an accurate reading of the current soft and hard skillset the team possesses and makes seeing the best way to move forward easier.

From a Color Code perspective, we know a good team needs the talents and strengths of all four personality types working together to thrive long-term. One person’s limitations can be offset by another’s strengths. Knowing what drives your team members, as well as their strengths, can help you place them on the right team and with the right tools where they can add the most value, feel the most fulfilled, and ultimately thrive. 

There you have it! Five reasons to consider seeking opportunities to increase the self-awareness of yourself and your team. 

And, if you’re curious about the Color Code personality assessment packages for business teams, visit www.colorcode.com/store to learn more! 

Here’s to you and your team!

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Joe England has known about the Color Code ever since 1994 when his Grandpa caused quite a family controversy by “quick coding” everyone.  Luckily, Joe could see the value in what Grandpa Don was going for and years later, when the opportunity arose to work for the Color Code in marketing and product development, Joe jumped at the chance. He is a Yellow, enjoys Swedish Fish, travel, surfing, snowboarding and being a dad.