It’s the hap-happiest season of all…or is it? 

According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, many people experience “the holiday blues” this time of year. “While the majority of people surveyed reported feelings of happiness, love, and high spirits over the holidays, those emotions were often accompanied by feelings of fatigue, stress, irritability, bloating, and sadness.”

Each of us moves into the holidays with mixed feelings—some joy and some trepidation. Even those who love this season can experience times of high emotion and demands, which can leave many people feeling stressed and exhausted. Following are a few tips for changing your holiday from stressful to stress-free.

MANAGE EXPECTATIONS. There is no perfect holiday. Repeat, there is no perfect holiday. Things are bound to go wrong. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your life with others. It’s human nature for your friends to ‘post’ only the happy moments they are experiencing, but chances are, they too are experiencing angst. You don’t have to create a Hallmark channel event to have an enjoyable season. By managing your expectations and recognizing how you can help yourself and others, you can ease the stress.

Reds—Expect to connect with others emotionally and socially. If you’re in a relationship with a Blue or Yellow, remember that they need you to up your game. Respect the needs and wants of those around you even if you don’t get it. Show gratitude for their efforts. 

Blues—Your natural gifts are quality and service. You bring your A-game for the holidays, but you also have unrealistic expectations. Don’t demand perfection from yourself or others. Above all, don’t fret if you can’t meet everyone’s needs—impose limits—learn to say no.

Whites—You should expect to have to socialize more during the holidays. As difficult as this is for you, give it your best. However, if it is overwhelming for you, be sure to take care of yourself. Find some downtime to rejuvenate. Pick the most important places to be and politely excuse yourself if you can’t manage more.

Yellows—This is your season! You love the parties, the gifts, and the attention. Try not to be disappointed when others don’t reciprocate your enthusiasm. You might need to lower your expectations to avoid disappointment when things don’t go your way. Spread joy as only you can.

SET CONVERSATION BOUNDARIES. As we’ve experienced in the past few years, some issues are best avoided when meeting with a diverse crowd. Tell your guests you want a positive and uplifting get-together with no talk of subjects that might push buttons. Banish the ghosts of holidays past—don’t hold on to what someone said three years ago. 

Reds—This means you. You enjoy a good debate and might not see the subtle (or not so subtle) distress you might be causing the rest of the group. Save it for January. Instead, use your leadership skills to steer the conversation in more positive directions. 

Blues—Remember, you can’t write a script for your event. Not everyone will follow the rules that are so important to you. If someone is acting in a way that you feel is inappropriate, gently change the subject. A simple “remember when…” should do the trick.

Whites—Your motivation of peace makes any discord uncomfortable. Disengage before it ruins your mood. You are kind and a good listener. Encourage people to share fond memories and fun anecdotes. You (and they) will be happier for it.

Yellows—You are a happy and charismatic conversationalist. People love to be around you. But give them a chance. Try active listening and think before you speak. Some Yellows tend to be interrupters. Try to avoid stomping on someone else’s conversation. 

MOST IMPORTANTLY—TAKE CARE OF YOUR NEEDS—Know your needs and wants no matter your driving core motive. If you are feeling stressed, take time for yourself. Do what makes you happy. If you love to read, read. If you enjoy brisk walks, do it. Want to listen to your favorite music? Great. These small snatches of alone time, doing what you love, will calm your nerves and help you to get rid of your stress and embrace the joyfulness of the season.

Take the advice of the professionals:

Don’t overspend to please others. Gifts do not buy love or respect. By overspending, your holiday blues will turn into post-holiday angst. Maybe it’s time to draw names for holiday gift exchanges and set limits on the amount spent. Or, make gift-giving fun and inexpensive with White Elephant exchanges. Who knows? Your guests might be grateful not to have to overspend as well. Help set realistic expectations with your children. Have discussions that let them know that the holidays are not about expensive gifts. Don’t try to keep up with those who go overboard with their children’s presents. Now might be a great time to teach them empathy by volunteering to help others in need.

Watch your nutrition. Let’s face it; holidays are all about eating. Rich foods, candy, and sweets abound. Alcohol is plentiful. It’s okay to indulge sparingly, but don’t forget that certain foods and alcohol can be mood-altering and can add to your blues. Experts tell us to eat a healthy snack before attending an event. Doing this will leave you somewhat sated and less likely to overindulge. Get plenty of sleep.

Holidays can be full of joy and love. By following these tips, we hope that you can eliminate the stress and enjoy the feeling of warmth and support of those whose relationships you cherish. 

Here’s wishing you the happiest of holidays.

____________________________________________

Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.