Gratitude. When someone mentions this word, how does it resonate with you? Do you think about 2021 being a particularly tough year with more blows than you thought you could stand? Or do you immediately go to looking around at your material items? Maybe you are naturally grateful and can see the positive amidst a sea of challenges.

I wasn’t built with a sunshine disposition. (Have you guessed my color yet?) I have to work at it, and yes I have to work at knowing and naming what I am grateful for. It takes work. (Ok, I’ll fess up. I’m a Red with a strong secondary Blue.) Can you relate?

As we are traveling through this holiday season, what comes to mind when you think of Thanksgiving? Even for those who do not celebrate the holiday, I would suggest you still take the time off work and plan for a special meal alongside family and friends.

For me, Thanksgiving has always been a favorite holiday because of a certain dish. (Yes – this Red isn’t ready to talk about the relationships around the table and seeing family… blah blah blah.) I want to tell you about my mother’s noodles. And even more – my husband’s ability to make them. Trust me, there is something in here for you. Truly.

How in the world does this relate to gratitude? Well, it started several years ago when I realized we would not make it back to my parent’s home for the holidays. My gastronomical system immediately began its slide into a depressive zone. No Thanksgiving in East Tennessee meant no noodles. My mother’s homemade noodles. The ones I’ve been eating since before I could walk. The ones all of my friends remember when they have had holiday meals at our home. The ones that I will fight you on if you dare call them “dumplins.” (They most decidedly are not.) The ones that my late father and I would fight for position over the pot on the stove to see who would sample them first while my mom yelled, “Leave them alone. They are not done yet. Save some for everyone else!” Too bad, suckers. We had our bowls and forks ready the minute she dropped those things in the pot of chicken stock. Those noodles were ours! No one – and I mean no one – was going to box us out of position for the first bowls of those heavenly flour noodles of goodness.

Throughout my young adult years when I could not make it home for Thanksgiving, my phone-resistant father would often call and say, “Guess what I am eating.” And I knew. Those noodles. At least I had the peace that came with the Christmas holiday. I would get mine.

But then came that year when I knew that I would not get home for either the Thanksgiving or the Christmas holiday. No noodles at all. And my whining commenced. My sadness came in. My efforts at sunshine were void. (Ok, a bit melodramatic, but trust me – I was not a happy camper.)

Until. My dear husband (who does most of the cooking and is a White personality) said, “I’ll make them for you.” And I said, “Really?” My eyes lit up. My whining stilled. My hopes were returned. I had the recipe. I just didn’t have the skills. My husband? He had the heart. The respect for the need. The wisdom to know how much this would please me, and yes – he had the culinary skills.

And make those noodles he did. He prepared them that year (sooo good!), and then he perfected them over the years to beyond what my mom (sorry again, mom – but we have broken the news to her already) did. He made a few changes in the stock and cut the noodles a bit thinner. He does other ingredients he is a bit vague about. They are, simply put, heaven on earth.

So, when I think about being grateful for Thanksgiving, I must admit my gratitude goes to those noodles. And if I were to reveal my real thoughts and expose my feelings, I am grateful for more than just the noodles  – I am grateful for having loved ones that started traditions (mom) and continue traditions (my husband, Kevin).

As a Red on the Color Code with a strong secondary Blue, holidays are conflicting. We think of the actions that need to be taken and then, if we are not aware, our secondary emotions can kick in. So, knowing this, how might each color approach Thanksgiving?

Whites: Whites will accept you as you are. You like noodles? Great! You don’t? No problem! They want to you to respect and accept them as well. They will show their gratitude in quiet ways of support (noodle making – trust me, they really are that amazing and worthy of all of this space) or in just sitting with you when you are missing that special family member who is no longer on the planet.

Blues: Blues are going to plan this day. They are going to think about matching napkins, placeholders for the attendees and what everyone would want to drink. They are going to consider the serve ware the dishes are served in and might even have a theme. Don’t even think about putting the mashed potatoes in the same bowl they were mashed in. There is a special dish just for the presentation. Trust me. There is. Be sure to acknowledge your appreciation for their efforts, even if you couldn’t care less how the napkins were folded. They care, and that is what matters.

Yellows: Yellows need to keep things light and fun. They want a bit of structure (it’s good for them to know when you are eating, but please do not expect them to plan the shopping and the menu on their own) and will bring the energy and acceptance to the dinner space. They are the most inclusive of the four colors – and so you know they will accept that unique family member or special someone that is brought to the meal.

Reds: Reds, well – that secondary color is important. A Red is about getting things done. Meal at 2pm – eat – clean up. Move on to the next. They are not necessarily about lingering at the table after the meal is done – they are already ticking to their next action step. They will make sure the plans are in motion and depending on their secondary, might follow-up to ensure the details are done. But, they are going to expect to eat when they are ready, and waiting for that one person who is always an hour late? Well, there is a reason my dad and I would get a head start around that stovetop. We are practical people.

Each personality color has amazing contributions to bring to our table. When we acknowledge them, highlight their gifts and work together, our meals and time together can become extraordinary. We can connect again and remember the funny quirks we all have. We can be grateful that our Blue attendee really did set a beautiful table that enhances the food presentation and that the Yellow’s energy brings the light conversation we all so need. The White is going to be the safe space for that family member or attendee who has had a tough year and just wants a good meal and a conversation that doesn’t include, “What are your goals for 2022?” And the Red is going to make sure the meal starts somewhere around the planned time and also ensure that the space gets cleaned up so the game can be watched or played.

As you begin this holiday season, whatever way you choose, keep your perspective and stay grateful for your blessings. Even when they come in the form of a little flour and chicken stock. Trust me.

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Kelly L. Knowles is a senior trainer at a regional law firm, where she develops and provides technical and professional skills training to all levels of the organization. Kelly is also an adjunct instructor in the Business Management department at MTSU. In 2017, Kelly obtained a Color Code certification and began Kelly K. Consulting. Kelly K. Consulting focuses on helping individuals and teams discover, develop, and dig into their inner leader. She guides this through one-on-one and group coaching as well as through corporate team training.