Month: July 2021

But What If I Don’t Know THEIR Color?

I’ve been teaching Color Code interpersonal communication workshops for nearly ten years. Early on, I came across a question from a participant for which I thought I had an answer.

“But what if I don’t know THEIR color?  It’s not like everyone has taken the assessment.”

“Well, there’s an addendum to this course called ‘quick-coding.’”

At this point, I transitioned to the quick-coding slides and pointed out the cards that teach some quick-coding strategies. Then the student said, “Yeah, this is a little helpful, but I don’t think it’s fool-proof. What if we get it wrong?”

The whole class delved into a rich discussion inspired by this question. As a group, we had several small ideas, but we also came to one major communication strategy for each color.  I now call those major strategies ‘The One-Tips.’ 

RED:

If you are a primary Red, you likely have a tendency (as I do, since I, myself, am a Red) to focus on what you want to do and what you think and believe, with less regard for others.  This is natural and common for Reds, as we are quick to come to conclusions, confident in our beliefs, ready to make decisions and move forward.  We often have the additional habit of assuming others agree with us if they don’t speak up boldly in disagreement.  We miss out on the wisdom of others, simply because we move a little too quickly.

If you are a primary Red, the one-tip for you, to help you in most situations when you don’t know the color of the other person or people, is to LISTEN FIRST. Allow others space to speak and share their ideas before you speak. Others will appreciate it, and occasionally, you’ll hear a great idea that you may like more than your own.

BLUE:

If you are a primary Blue, you likely care deeply about your work and relationships.  You also likely worry a lot, so you often look for risks and faults, and then focus on them as you worry.  You probably communicate passionately what you believe is right and wrong and may occasionally judge others for their differing opinions. Even if you have learned not to judge others, your passion can be intimidating. Others around you may learn to hold their tongue, because they do not want to deal with your intensity or judgment. 

For you, the Blue, the one-tip is to LOOK FOR WHAT’S RIGHT AND ALLOW OTHERS THEIR OPINIONS.

WHITE:

If you are a primary White, you likely find comfort in allowing others to take the reins. You’re comfortable with their ideas as long as you’re allowed to keep your systems and organizational practices in place. But you often have great ideas of your own; carefully thought-out ideas that took detail and nuance into consideration.  And you often keep those ideas to yourself, because, well, “their ideas will work just fine and who are you to tell others what to do? And anyway, they didn’t ask you.”  If you do this, you are underestimating your value.  You are talented at devising well-considered and thoroughly thought-out plans, strategies, and ideas—and you often have insights that others miss.

If you are a White, the one-tip for you is to SPEAK UP AND SHARE YOUR INSIGHTS.

YELLOW:

If you are a primary Yellow, you bring zeal and zest to life and to those around you. You also have some natural tendencies to do that thing or tell that joke that others may be reluctant to do or say; you see the upside first and the downside later. This attribute makes you fun to be around and your positivity is infectious, but the missteps can come back and get you in the end. You may realize a little too late that you told a joke that makes others uncomfortable, or you acted on an idea that was too far outside the standard operating procedures. 

If you are a Yellow, the one-tip for you is to THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK AND ACT. (But after you have given your thoughts consideration, keep contributing to your team and to your friends—we love you for just being you.)

So, there you have it. All four of the one-tips.  What is great about them is that when you put them together, they make a comprehensive communication process: 1) Listen first, 2) Look for what’s right and allow others their opinions, 3) Think before you speak and act, and then, 4) Speak up and share our insights.

One of the reasons I love teaching Color Code is that it allows for quickly learnable and actionable lessons, and these four ‘one-tips’ might be the best example.

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Derek Pangelinan is the owner of Derek Rey Consulting, a workplace-culture and leadership development company. He has been teaching Color Code for nine years and has taught teams in large and small organizations, for-profit and nonprofit, and has used it as a coaching tool. You can reach out to Derek at his business email address: Derek@DerekReyConsulting.com

Seeing Myself Through the Eyes of Others

Many of us would be surprised to see how others view us. We have taken the Color Code assessment, and we now know our strengths and limitations, right? It turns out that there is a lot more to it. Color Code measures personality, which is innate. But throughout our lives, we develop strengths and limitations based on our experiences—Character. These behaviors can be both good and bad.

CHARACTER CODE

Character Code, Color Code’s new online assessment, transitions from personality to character development by inviting others to assess us anonymously.

Because I was the project manager for Character Code, it was important for me to test the results. I am sharing those results with you—both the good and the bad.

MY RESULTS

After years of working at Color Code, I’d like to think that I am pretty self-aware. I know my strengths, and I’m painfully aware of my limitations. Still, you will see below, the behaviors I see in myself and those my responders see are quite different.

Strengths

When I completed the Strengths self-evaluation, there were no surprises. My top 3 answers are similar to the results I got when I took the Color Code assessment:

Then I read the group results:

My first thought was, “Do they even know me?” Then I had to step back and admit that this is HOW they know me.

The top of the list—detail conscious—is a Blue strength I’ve often wished I possessed. As with most Reds, I am a big-picture type of person and rely on others for the details—to fix the many mistakes I make in my haste to get things done. It surprises and flatters me to think that others see this strength in me. It also heartens me to see the strengths of other colors that I so admire.

Limitations

When it came to limitations, I got emails from my respondents saying, “I don’t want to do this.” It is never fun to have people point out the limitations they see in us, but it’s equally difficult for the respondent. I assured them that the assessment was completely anonymous, and their answers were vital to my personal growth.

As with the strengths, my self-assessment results weren’t a surprise.

The group results surprised me:

Again, my responders see very different behaviors than I do. While it heartened me to see the strengths of other DCMs (Driving Core Motives), I am disheartened to see the limitations from different colors—not to mention my own Red DCM.

It is human nature to be defensive—to go to that person and ask, “Why?” but, even as the project manager, my responders are entirely anonymous. I must take their answers as they are presented and acknowledge that anonymity allowed them to answer truthfully.

Often, without our knowledge, our behaviors cause harm simply because we are unaware of the impact they have on others. We now have the opportunity to find out and make essential changes.

Let’s go over the top 3.

Always right. I am not always right. In fact, I’m not right a lot of the time. I am not in denial nor being defensive. Yet, because of my blunt Red nature of communicating, I acknowledge that I create the perception that I am ‘always right.’

Example

Greg was working on a project that I found intriguing.

Looking over his shoulder, I asked, “Why are you doing it that way?”

Immediately his defenses came up, and he asked, “What way do YOU want me to do it?”

By wording it the way I did, it sounded like a challenge—as if I knew the right way—when, in fact, I didn’t even have a ‘way.’ I was just curious.

I should have said, “That is so interesting. Will you show me what you are doing?”

By changing the way I asked the question, I would have turned a negative into a positive. Greg would have felt pride in his work rather than the anger my question generated, and I would have had my curiosity satisfied.

Perfectionist. This one gave the Color Code editors a laugh. If they had filled out the assessment for me, it would not be on the list. In my haste to get things done and move on, I miss a lot of simple errors. In fact, my mother used to have a saying that has become my mantra: “It’s nothing you’d notice from a galloping horse.”

I am very particular about some things, but I think that would fall into the ‘obsessive’ category rather than perfectionism.

Still, I am viewed that way to the extent that it is number two on my list. Based on the ‘Unrealistic Expectations’ answer, I have concluded that others feel I expect perfectionism. Once again, it has everything to do with communication and perception.

Note: Perfectionism is a limitation because it can be mentally debilitating, and I am not making light of it. See https://blog.colorcode.com/?s=perfectionism

Intimidating. The definition of intimidating is: Having a frightening, overawing, or threatening effect. While I would hope that this respondent is in awe of me, I have to assume that they have been frightened or felt threatened by me because it’s in the Limitations category. This response has affected me more than the others. Intimidation causes problems in relationships both at home and in the workplace. Simply put, intimidation is bullying—and I do not want to be a bully.

As for the rest of the responses, as hard as it is to see them, I know they are honest responses, and I have to own them.

TAKE-AWAY

Moving forward, I have a checklist of areas I need to work on—those I know and those presented to me. By being conscious of how others view me, I can make positive changes to enhance my personal and professional relationships.

My first action item is to work on my communication skills. Clearly, my respondents see me in a vastly different way than I feel. I don’t want to always be right. I want to learn from those around me. I don’t want others to feel I expect them to be perfect because I’m not perfect. I especially never want to intimidate and be thought of as a bully.

By changing the way I communicate with others based on their needs and wants rather than my own, I am convinced that I can fix these perceptions.

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Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.

To learn more about Character Code and the accompanying workshop Decoding the Colors of Leadership, talk to your employer or contact a trainer near you.

Find a trainer:

https://www.colorcode.com/cc_trainers/

 

Reds: Making Emotional Deposits is a Logical Action

Recently, the Color Code team was challenged with this scenario:

“I am a Red…I live with my husband and daughter who are both true Blue. They love to sit around and ‘complain’ about everything and anything…it drives me crazy! Always sounds like they are negative, but they say they are not. On the other hand, I love a good debate…I call enlightening conversation, they think I want to argue all the time, but I just like swapping ideas! How do we enjoy each other’s style of conversation without frustration?!”

As a Red daughter with a Blue mother, this scenario connected. I’m convinced my late father was a Red too, so when we had our “conversations,” mom thought she needed to referee the fight! What fight?!  Which brings me to point number one: Intent vs. Impact. As Reds, we want to keep in mind what we perceive as a “healthy” conversation or debate can be perceived as conflict for those around us. Our intent might be to make a point or to get an issue fleshed out, but the impact could be discord, discomfort and seen as a personal challenge by others. My mother was seeing the “conversation” as a “fight” versus it just being some natural banter between my father and I. We didn’t need a referee (most of the time), but other parties sure did!

Just this week I was having an informal conversation with a friend, who is a Blue. When I shared the above scenario, she became engaged and began looking at the emotional angle. Point number two is: Listen to the Blue. I respect this person. I stopped my immediate reaction and realized I could gain additional content for my blog. Reds — we get each other. So, give me one more minute, and I’ll get to the logical action.

My friend suggested a scenario of this Red taking her family on a trip. What if instead of an agenda that includes learning, always taking action, and finding active challenge (while garnering the best bang for the buck), this Red thought about the memories that could be made? The interpersonal trust-building and opportunity for downtime and dialogue do not always easily occur in our busy lives. What if the trip could logically be about making emotional bank deposits that give a return on investment, leading to a stronger family unit? Less aggravation? Score! 

What does the Blue team get? The emotional connection. Good, positive memories, and even if good plans went awry, the Blue was able to observe the actions of the Red in keeping the pace going and moving forward. We all know the “best plans”…but even when a plan isn’t perfect, it can still be effective and achieve the end goal. When the Blue and Red can connect this way, it helps for future dialogue. The Red can know that the Blue isn’t always “complaining,” but rather doing a conversation replay, analyzing a problem, etc. The Blue can know that the Red isn’t necessarily debating for the sake of challenge, but rather to distill the information to an action plan and end goal.

Point number three: As Reds, we want control and action. Tie in the Blue’s need for control and high-quality with a reticence to act until things are perfect, and you have a potential recipe for disaster. But, there is also the potential for amazing results and increased relationship strength. How? Develop mutual respect.

The bottom line (every Red must say that regularly, right?) is that when the Reds know the Blues respect them and seek to understand their style, and the Blues sense that the Reds appreciate them and know they are endeavoring for connection and appreciation, there is the ability to work from each other’s strengths (superpowers) rather than staying in a cycle of frustration. 

Now, let’s give a nod to our friend Reality. What if the situation discussed is truly stressful? Point number 4: This is where a solid knowledge of each individual’s secondary color becomes very powerful. As a primary Red with a strong Blue secondary, I can be a bag of contradictions if I am not self-aware and bringing the source of my stress to the front of my mind. By calling out the stressor in front of me, I become a strong, solid Red again. And, by utilizing the empathy and gifts of my primary Blue friends and family, I remember what it is like to be driven more by emotion than logic. I neutralize my limitations.

So, back to that family where the Red wants a “healthy discussion,” and her Blue family wants to focus on the emotion and challenges. By understanding which angle each person is coming from, their issues can be dealt with — for all parties. For example, the neighbor needs help mowing the grass while they are in the hospital.  Done. That Red will organize and take action (keeping the Blue from thinking about the best day to mow, what about the temperature, do they like their yard mowed at a certain angle…Blues —  I know I’m hitting your spots right now!) The Blue can think about an additional consideration, such as picking up the neighbor’s mail, providing a welcome home meal, ensuring the plants are watered with care, etc.

Point number five: When there is mutual respect and a drive to exhibit good character, this color combination does not have to look like a Red/Blue = purple bruise. It can become a superpower combination that can discover what is going on by assessing the situation (within healthy boundaries), developing an action plan and digging into getting real things done.

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Kelly L. Knowles is an inner-leadership coach who helps her corporate clients and individual professionals discover, develop and dig into their innate potential©. She uses her Red/Blue combo to create interactive custom workshops that provide a return on investment for clients that is immediately realized. Kelly has been a Color Code trainer since 2017, when she announced to her husband at an event, “I’m a Red, you’re a White, and this explains everything!” You can reach her at: www.kellyknowles.net.

Embracing Your Secondary Color

I was raised by a mom who is about as Blue as they come. She plans family events months (or even years) in advance, she is easily moved to tears, and she is passionate about her relationships. What throws me for a loop, though, is her secondary color is Yellow. Blues and Yellows are complementary opposites (emphasis on OPPOSITES), so it’s a combination that is hard for me to grasp. But something my mom always says, which is so true, is that her Yellow really shines through when she is on vacation. 

One of my mom’s favorite things to do on vacation is to rent bikes and ride along the beach, park, mountain trail, or wherever it is we are. I have a memory of one family vacation to California when we were on a bike ride and my mom began riding in a “no biking” zone. My dad pointed out the sign to her, and she just playfully stuck her tongue out at him and kept going. She’s normally a rule follower, but if it gets in the way of her fun, she’s willing to break them. 

It’s pretty rewarding as a daughter to see my hard-working, dedicated Blue mom become so relaxed and goofy on vacation. I think it’s so healthy that she gives up her “Blue card” once in a while and really leans into her Yellow secondary. It gets me thinking about how we all have secondary colors we draw strengths from, so maybe we should all take a vacation from our primaries once in a while when they are not serving us and learn from something different. 

But how do we do that? The idea sounds nice, but it’s not easy to shed some of our lifelong habits, especially when they meet a need our driving core motive creates. For example, I am a Blue primary, and it can be very hard for me not to be controlling over my family/household, even though my strong White secondary shows that I also have tendencies to be tolerant and balanced. But I believe in change, and I believe that lasting change can come through baby steps. So my challenge to all of us is to pick just one character limitation we struggle with in our primary color and then to try to counteract it by drawing from a strength we have from our secondary color for one week. Then, and this part might be hard for some of us, (Yellows, I’m looking at you 😉 ) try journaling about your experience. Notice and write about the situations in your daily life that you struggle with this particular limitation and then implement and write about how your strength helped you through those situations. And, of course, we at Color Code would love to hear about your experiences, so please drop a comment below! To help you get started, here is a list of some of the strengths and limitations of each personality type. You may not resonate with every one of them, but hopefully some of the information will be helpful. Good luck with your endeavors! We believe in you!

Typical Yellow Strengths:

 

  • Fun-loving
  • Persuasive
  • Carefree 
  • Insightful
  • Flexible
  • Trusting
  • Spontaneous
  • Happy
  • Charismatic
  • Sociable 

 

Typical Yellow Limitations:

 

  • Uncommitted
  • Self-centered
  • Disorganized
  • Impulsive
  • Undisciplined
  • Vain
  • Afraid to face facts
  • Inconsistent
  • Unfocused
  • Interrupter

 

Typical Blue Strengths:

 

  • Compassionate
  • Sincere
  • Loyal
  • Thoughtful
  • Analytical
  • Caring
  • Intuitive
  • Detail-conscious
  • Dependable
  • Deliberate

 

Typical Blue Limitations:

 

  • Self-righteous
  • Judgmental
  • Easily depressed
  • Controlling
  • Unforgiving
  • Suspicious
  • Irrational 

 

Typical White Strengths: 

  • Tolerant
  • Patient
  • Cooperative
  • Accepting
  • Objective
  • Balanced
  • Excellent Listener

 

Typical White Limitations:

 

  • Indecisive
  • Unmotivated
  • Silently Stubborn
  • Unexpressive
  • Avoids Conflict
  • Uninvolved

 

Typical Red Strengths:

 

  • Loyal to tasks
  • Committed
  • Visionary
  • Logical
  • Leader
  • Focused
  • Responsible

 

Typical Red Limitations:

 

  • Proud (arrogant)
  • Insensitive
  • Poor at listening
  • Tactless
  • Rebellious
  • Critical of others
  • Impatient

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Megan Christensen is a Blue who has been writing her feelings for as long as she can remember. Megan graduated from BYU-Idaho in 2014 with a degree in communication. A lifelong fan of the Color Code, she’s thrilled to be the content editor of the blog and hopes to help as many people as possible become more self-aware. When she’s not writing, Megan can be found reading, doing yoga, and spending as much time as she can outdoors.