teresa.glenn – Page 5 – blog.colorcode.com

Raising Reds — Five Tips for Parenting Your Red Child Like a Pro!

For today’s post I thought I would share with you five tips that seem to do wonders in the lives of a Red child and his/her parent based on both the research of Color Code and the personal experiences of a few of us here in the office.

My son is only 4 years old, but I can tell you right now he is a Red personality.

Thankfully I’ve had the Color Code in my life since before he was born so what would have DEFINITELY upset me without having a prior knowledge of Motive now has become a matter of amusement, appreciation and guidance. That’s the big gift of Color Code for parents as far as I can see it. It gives us tools to speak our kids’ languages and see where they’re coming from instead of wanting to kill them at times. 😉

So, with that in mind, for today’s post I thought I would share with you five tips that seem to do wonders in the lives of a Red child and his/her parent based on both the research of Color Code and the personal experiences of a few of us here in the office. We challenge you to apply them and write us back in the comments with how things are going. We bet you will be surprised at how helpful they can be — even if they just help you keep your cool when you’d rather scream…

And one last thing before we dive in: Remember, we preach 100% Responsibility here at the Color Code so have some fun dreaming up ways to implement these ideas into your own parenting style! Here we go:

1. Present all your issues logically. Yes, yes you’ve heard that before but let’s put it in the context of a Red kid. Most children naturally want to know the whats and whys of life but Reds feel this want much stronger than the other personality types. Why they have to do something in particular lol. And don’t say to them, “Well, if you love me” or “Because I’m your father” — that won’t work so hot with them. Remember they have that logical drive. They are not looking for direction in the name of emotion. They literally want to know why they have to do it from a logical angle. Of course, this doesn’t always work well, and sometimes you just gotta say, “because I said so,” but as long as you know that they innately crave logic you’ll be in better shape.

2. Just like with adult Reds, you need to be direct and brief in your conversations with a Red child. They don’t want all the details. Be very specific and very brief as a general rule and then feel it out from there. This used to annoy me, but now I appreciate how much time my son saves me when he just wants to cut to the chase, because, I mean, as parents we are very busy all the time, right? Finding ways to look on the bright side of my son’s limitations has been a lifesaver. I encourage you to give it a try.

3. Offer them leadership opportunities. There’s a good chance our Red children are probably better leaders than we ever will be lol. And talk about negotiating skills. My 4-year-old can run circles around me, both his grandmas and grandpa without breaking a sweat. He seriously negotiates deals I never would’ve dreamed of as a child lol. It’s amazing. And according to office chat, my son is definitely not the only Red around with these mad skills. Even Red children can be more organized, more precise, more direct than some adults! Sure, they’re blunt, a little rough around the edges and you have to work with them, but be grateful you have a Red child if only for this strength because it means they certainly won’t be surfing your couch in 20 years. Instead, they probably will be running the country or some big corporation!

4. Support their decisive nature. One awesome tip I picked up from Dr. Hartman (the author of “The Color Code”) years ago that has helped me with my son in the mornings is this: If you have a child that’s around three or four and wants to wear only what they want to wear, that’s not a problem, you simply say, “You may wear this or this.” And if they start fighting you, say, “You may wear this or this, or anything else you can pick in one minute.” You’ll be amazed. You’ll own them, because they will show you how quick they are. Typically, they won’t wear what you want them to wear, but it doesn’t matter. You made your point AND you’ve supported their decisive nature and can still get out the door in time. Boom!

5. Finally, don’t take their arguments personally. If they tell you they hate you it doesn’t mean a thing. We promise. It just means they didn’t get their way. We’ve discussed this many times around the office (as I mentioned, a few of us are raising Reds). They are just upset and will get over it quickly and expect you to do the same. This has been the case 100 percent of the time as all of us knew better than to let it turn into a “big deal” by getting hung up about it on an emotional level. Thanks, Color Code 🙂

Well there you go! Five tips for parenting your Red child like a pro! We hope you find them useful and make the time to implement them as you see fit! And for the parents of Reds out there: What other ideas have worked for you? Please share in the comments so we can all help each other out. After all, it takes a village. 😉

Here’s to you and your Red.

Cheers!

Joe England and The Color Code Team

Joe England has known about the Color Code ever since 1994 when his Grandpa caused quite a family controversy by “quick coding” everyone. Luckily, Joe could see the value in what Grandpa Don was going for and years later, when the opportunity arose to work for the Color Code in marketing and product development, Joe jumped at the chance. He is a Yellow, enjoys Swedish Fish, travel, surfing, snowboarding and being a dad.

Improving Your Relationship With Your Yellow Child

In this article, we will mention some of the limitations Yellows have as children and offer advice on the things you should or shouldn’t do as parents to maintain the best relationship you can with your child in spite of their frustrating limitations.

Just like every other color, Yellow children come with natural strengths and natural limitations. Obviously, the strengths are great while the limitations can be frustrating. But don’t worry, we’re here to help!

Yellow children tease siblings constantly

If they’ve got Blue siblings, this can be especially tough! However, to have the best relationship with a Yellow, you must accept SOME playful teasing or joking. Remember, Yellows like to have fun! It is their motive in life! Try to find a balance with the teasing. Of course you shouldn’t let your Yellow child constantly hurt your Blue child’s feelings, but don’t lay down the law every time Mr. or Miss Yellow plays a practical joke on a family member. Teach your other children not to take it personally and let them know they can tease their sibling back! If anyone can take it, a Yellow can!

Yellow children are sassy and demanding

This is a tough one! Of course it can be hurtful to hear your child sass you and unless you’re a White, you probably don’t have the patience for a demanding child. Although you shouldn’t make allowances for sassy and demanding behavior in your child, you should recognize that in order to have the best relationship with your Yellow child, you need to remember they are more sensitive than they seem. So although they may sass you, throwing back an angry or hurtful retort may really hurt their feelings.

Yellow children prefer to take the easy road whenever possible

This might be hard for you as a parent when your Yellow child is stuffing everything in their closet rather than organizing it or doing the bare minimum to scrape by in school. However, if you want to have the best relationship with your Yellow child that you can, do not demand perfection. Blues, that especially means you! Rather than demanding perfection from them, try to meet them halfway. Don’t allow them to keep a terribly messy room, but teach them the value of a junk drawer! Encourage and expect them to make solid efforts on their homework, but reward them with fun activities when the work is done.

Yellow children are more concerned with friends than family

Ouch! Although you may wish your child wanted to spend more time with you, do not control their schedules or totally consume their time if you want to have the best relationship with them. You don’t want them to resent you and to push them away further. Yellows are social beings, let them have time with their friends. But remember, Yellows’ motive in life is fun, so try planning fun family activities that they’ll want to be a part of! Maybe they’ll be even more inclined to participate if you let them bring a friend along.

Parenting requires a lot of patience, yes, but the payoff will be much better if you have the best relationship with your child that you can. Hopefully our advice helps, and you can better understand and work with your Yellow son or daughter. Don’t forget to have fun! (They’ll need it!)
—The Color Code Team

4 Tips to Help Blues Combat Their Worry

Blues who struggle with over-worrying will find helpful tips to combat their worry in this post.

The other day I came across some literature of ours that says: “One Blue man finally gave up worry in his eighties. He told me he had worried needlessly all his life and it had cost him dearly. Most of what he worried about never happened, yet he had robbed himself of enjoying the present moment for so many years. He said that he finally woke up one day and said to himself, ‘No more! If it hasn’t happened to me by now, chances are it won’t ever happen. So let it go!’ And he did. He had paid his debt in time and energy and was finally free simply to be.”

That passage both resonated with me and scared me. I am a world-class worrier! One of the natural limitations of the Blue personality is being worry-prone, and I am not exempt! However, just like that old man, it costs me dearly and I don’t want to be in my eighties to figure out a way to stop worrying.

Although I have not mastered a way to combat my worrying, it’s something I really want to work on, and I’m sure other Blues feel the same. So in an effort to help myself and others, I want to provide readers with a few tips for stifling their worry. Here goes!

1. Befriend a Yellow

Marrying a Yellow is the best decision I’ve ever made. His optimism makes a world of difference with my worry! When I come down with a doomsday attitude, he is right there to point out how ridiculous I’m being, to laugh at or with me or to simply soothe my anxious heart. I greatly admire the Yellow ability to be optimistic, and it’s something I’d like to master. For the time being, I’m able to allow my husband’s optimism to help me out of my consistently worried state. I know not every Blue marries a Yellow, but you surely have a Yellow friend or someone you can make friends with who will hopefully have the same effect!

2. Find a distracting hobby

For me, reading is almost like therapy. Stepping outside my own world and into someone else’s is a nice way to escape my worries and find enjoyment and relaxation. I also recently picked up knitting. The rhythmic pattern of making knit and purl stitches miraculously soothes my anxiety and helps me channel my worried energy more productively. Is there something you’re passionate about that you can’t live without? Next time you feel like you can’t escape worry, escape into your distracting hobby!

3. Meditate

You knew this was coming, didn’t you? From experience, I can say this is a healthy and productive way to calm yourself down and get a better handle on life. I personally enjoy yoga, because it helps me practice centering my mind on one thought rather than letting it spin out of control like I do so many times when I’m stressed. I love after the yoga is done and I get to meditate, because my body is able to relax and I only allow myself to think positively. In the past, I’ve tried mindfulness meditation while trying to fall asleep at night. I recommend this YouTube video.

4. Self-talk

If we’re so good at talking ourselves into worry, why can’t we try talking ourselves out of worry? It might feel silly, but next time you’re freaking out about something, take a step back and tell yourself you got this. Tell yourself everything that is going right in your life and remind yourself of times in the past when you got yourself out of sticky situations. Seriously, remind yourself of your own capability, focus on the positive, put whatever you’re worrying about into perspective and breathe out!

I know practicing what I’m preaching is way easier said than done, but if we actively focus our minds on trying these methods and making efforts to overcome worrying so much, I believe we can do it! Take a lesson from the man in the story at the beginning of this post and don’t let yourself grow old before you stop worrying so much. Blues, we got this!

Megan Christensen graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho in 2014 with a Bachelor’s degree in communication. She previously worked as the head writer for KSL.com and is now the digital content manager for the Color Code. Her core color is Blue, but she is almost just as White.

Five Things Whites Should Do Before They’re Thirty

In this article, The Color Code Team gives the White personality a list of five things they should do before they turn 30 so they can combat some of their limitations and improve themselves.

Whites are wonderful. There is no denying that. They are kind, even-tempered, accepting, inventive and balanced, among other great qualities. Anyone who doesn’t have a healthy White in their life needs to drop what they’re doing and go seek a White friend. You’ll thank us later.

Of course, we could brag about Whites all day, but what good would it do if we only ever talked about the strengths of every color? Although it can be discouraging to hear about our limitations, it’s essential for character growth.

Whites are timid, inexpressive and they avoid conflict. They can also be boring and uninvolved. It might sting a little to hear limitations you may or may not be aware of already, but we are here to provide you with a list of five things Whites should do before they’re 30 in an effort to help you stretch yourself and combat some of these limitations. Ready, set, go!

Five Things Whites Should Do Before They’re Thirty

1. Initiate and carry on a legitimate conversation with a stranger

Whites are timid. They can be afraid of emotional exposure and drama. Whites also carry a sense of self doubt. Even if they look peaceful on the outside, they may be questioning their capabilities on the inside. Whites, we know you like your solitude, but try combating some of your timidity and self-doubt by reaching out to someone you’d like to get to know and continue to converse with them for at least 15 minutes! At best, you’ll make a good friend, and at worst, you can still pat yourself on the back for being brave and stepping outside your comfort zone!

2. React from an emotional perspective. Risk with your heart.

Whites do not easily trust others. They usually hide what they’re really feeling from others who may judge or disapprove of them. Whites don’t express themselves very much, and while some don’t mind others having to assume what their beliefs, fears, hopes and dreams are, others wish they could find the words to express themselves adequately. For the White readers out there, try choosing more people to trust, and share the feelings deep inside your heart with them. It’ll help you connect on a deeper level, which they may appreciate and which may help you feel relieved.

3. Break a Blue’s heart

OK Whites, we know you’re probably too kind to do this, but try to view it as less about actually breaking their heart and more about becoming more comfortable with confrontation (with any color, really). Did you know Whites prefer the silent treatment to confrontation? Whites definitely have opinions, but they also keep them to themselves, which leaves the other colors guessing. Whites are also more likely to be passive-aggressive than the other colors because it allows them to appear cordial without dealing with overt conflict. Whites, try sharing your opinion more, even if you’re afraid it will offend someone else. Of course you can still show tact so you’re not purposely hurting someone, but don’t be afraid to own up to the fact that you don’t like a certain movie or that you don’t agree with someone else’s opinions.

4. Spontaneously do something — anything — at least three times

Whites can be boring. They themselves may not be bored, but they are the type to passively let life happen to them. Rather than being the one to entertain, they wait for others to entertain them. Whites, you may not like having this limitation, but don’t worry — you don’t have to! Sure, it may not be easy or natural, but start trying to be more exciting by doing something spontaneous. If you want to go big, try booking a surprise trip for you and a friend or you and your spouse. If you’re not ready to go quite that spontaneous, try doing something like going to the movies mid-week instead of waiting for the weekend. And don’t stop there! Do it at least three times!

5. Keep your subtle witty comments flowing at all times and with everyone

Whites, you may be timid and uninvolved in conversations or certain relationships, but try not to be afraid of letting your unique personality come through so everyone can get to know the real you. Maybe you feel like others don’t know the real you because you’re more quiet around them than with your close friends and family. It might be hard, but try voicing your wit more around those you’re not totally comfortable with. They’ll probably appreciate it!

Well, there you go, Whites. You’re set on a road to improvement, and don’t worry, you don’t have to be under 30 to participate in this list. For the Whites who’ve mastered some or all of the items on this list, how did it feel? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

— The Color Code Team

Recognizing the Good in Your Red Child

For those who are raising one or more Red children and are struggling to do so, here are some strengths Red children have that you can focus on.

Parenting is exhausting as it is, and if you are the parent of a Red child, you may find yourself in over your head as you learn to handle some of their difficult limitations. As children, Reds can be poor listeners, defiant and resisting of control, critical of their parents and demanding and manipulative of their parents to get their way. Are you pulling out your hair yet?

Yes, Red children have limitations that will aggravate their parents, however, they also have some fantastic strengths. If you’re raising a Red and are wanting to focus on the positive in them, take a look at these strengths Red children possess.

Red children communicate what they are thinking.

You don’t have to play any guessing games! Sure, if the dinner you make tastes gross to them, they’ll make it known, but it’s nice not to wonder what’s going on inside their head or if they’re really happy about something. They’ll tell you their opinions and in turn, you can engage each other in conversation! Plus, the honesty of children can be hilarious!

Red children have a strong sense of independence.

This is especially nice when you have several children to care for. Who doesn’t want a child that wakes up on their own, makes themselves breakfast and gets themselves ready? And doesn’t it make it easier to send your child off to school knowing they can hold their own? An independent child makes for a low maintenance child in some areas.

Red children are willing to risk and try new experiences.

What a great quality! If you’re wanting to take your family on a boating trip, your child may be first in line to try out wake boarding. When it comes to extracurricular activities, they won’t be shy to run for student government or try out for the soccer team. While some kids may be too afraid of failure, your Red child is willing to risk failure for something that leads to success. (And they probably don’t think failure is an option!)

Red children take charge when their parents are gone.

Why hire a babysitter when your Red 9-year-old is just as capable? 😉 Red children are comfortable in the lead. They will feed their siblings dinner, change diapers and make sure their younger siblings are punished if they don’t obey bedtime! 😉

Red children are self-confident in their ability to perform.

When you think about it, kids will be required to or have the opportunity to perform a lot. Whether it’s performing on tests, in spelling bees, in the school play or the other various activities they find themselves involved in or exposed to, Red kids will benefit from their ability to be confident in their performance. While some kids get nervous for the limelight, your Red child will be comfortable there.

Can you see how awesome it can be to raise a Red? Their strong personality may be tough to handle at times, but it can also bring a lot of fun to the family. Parents who’ve raised Reds, what do you love most about your Red child? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

—The Color Code Team

5 Ways Yellow Parents Are Awesome

This post highlights some of the strengths of Yellow parents.

In our last “Ask the Expert” post, Jeremy Daniel responded to a woman who wanted to know what strengths she brought as a parent as a Red. This woman said she was very well aware of her limitations. Does that sound familiar to anyone? Parenting is the hardest job in the world, and it may be very easy to see your limitations as a parent while being somewhat blind to your strengths.

I have two wonderful parents, one Blue and one Yellow. As a Blue myself, it’s very helpful to have a Blue mom who is sensitive to my emotional needs and who appreciates and understands me. I could go on and on about the strengths she’s brought to our family as a Blue (and maybe I will in a future post), but today I want to talk about the strengths my Yellow dad brought as a parent. In turn, I hope the other Yellow parents are able to recognize these strengths in themselves and hopefully see the value they’ve brought to their own families. Of course, the Yellows reading this may already see themselves as being pretty great, but just in case you’re having doubts, I’ll reassure you of your awesomeness. 😉

The strengths I mention are specific to Yellow parents.

Yellow parents flow easily with negative experiences

As a Blue, I am definitely opposite of this. I feel ALL the feels. If something negative happened growing up, whether it be friend drama or boy problems, my dad exuded an attitude that helped me believe my life was not completely falling apart and that things WOULD work out in the end. If something negative happened in his personal life, I literally didn’t even know about it or it didn’t seem to bother him too much. He never complained about his job and when he lost his job a few years ago, I felt the sad and angry emotions while he maintained a positive attitude that he would be taken care of.

Yellow parents are highly entertaining

Who doesn’t like to be entertained? When I was in 3rd grade, different parents of students in my class would come into our classroom every so often and educate us about influential musicians. Of course, the norm was to learn about Bach, Beethoven and the like. Well when my dad came in, he decided to teach us 9-year-olds about The Beatles. He asked if anyone in our class had a birthday coming up, and when a boy raised his hand he had him come up and he played The Beatles’ song “Birthday” for him. I’m pretty sure he whipped out his trusty air guitar, too. He is very comfortable in front of an audience, and he doesn’t disappoint with his killer Neil Diamond impression and corny Dad jokes.

Yellow parents are very present in the moment

We’ve all seen the movies where the parents are more concerned with work than with their children. I was lucky enough that when my dad left work, he left work. Although he was busy with work and church responsibilities when I was growing up, he made a lot of time for his family, and he was always present with us. If we went out to dinner or on vacation he was there to have quality conversation with us and enjoy the activities we were doing.

Yellow parents are excellent short-term leaders

When it came to some of my more complicated or creative school projects or contests, my dad was great at taking the lead. In 8th grade, my science teacher assigned us to create a contraption that would crush a grape through the use of simple machines. For a girl who hates science, that was very overwhelming! In stepped my dad. Over the weekend, he took me shopping for the parts and proceeded to basically do my project for me as I watched him without a clue. He was always good at taking over short-term projects like that as well as the pumpkin-carving contest at school and answering boys to dances in creative ways.

Yellow parents promote fun family activities

When I was a kid, my family was listening to the song “Nowhere Man” by The Beatles. (Can you tell my dad is Beatles obsessed?) As we were listening to the lyrics, “He’s a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land making all his nowhere plans for nobody,” we kids asked my dad where “nowhere” was and how somebody could go to a place when it was called “nowhere.” Rather than explaining the meaning behind the song, he packed us in the car and drove us for about 45 minutes up to the mountains, or in other words, in the middle of nowhere. He told us that this was “nowhere,” and to this day we call that area by the same name!

Yellows, your suspicions were correct…you guys are great parents! Your kids are lucky to have you. Readers, what are some of your favorite strengths about your Yellow parents? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Five Things Blues Should Do Before They’re 30

This article lists and discusses five things the Blue personality should do before they turn 30.

As humans, we seem to thrive on to-do lists of sorts. We make to-do lists for our days and bucket lists for our lives. We set New Year’s resolutions, we have planners and organizational apps. You may feel like you don’t need another list, but the Blues out there may find this is one that adds value to their life and their journey of becoming a better or happier person.

Five Things Blues Should Do Before They’re 30

1. Create something uniquely personal

Blues usually struggle to believe in their own creative talents. They are so self-doubting and demanding of themselves that they often hide their skills and abilities because they fear they aren’t good enough. But Blues are often very talented and creative. Walt Disney was a Blue! Can you imagine a world without the creative genius and magic of Disney movies and Disney parks? It would be a sad life. Blues, instead of hiding your talents, find them and use them! Have you ever wanted to write a book, choreograph a musical or get into painting? Don’t delay! The world could use your creative talents!

2. Become competent at a skill you value

Blues are very self-disciplined. When they throw themselves into a project, it brings out the best in them. One of their natural strengths is being detail conscious. Use these qualities to your advantage! Find a project you’d like to swallow and let it reveal your strengths. If you’ve always wanted to become a yoga instructor, rely on your self-discipline to get you on the mat daily. If you’d like to start a photography business, begin by taking photos daily and posting them on Instagram.

3. Experience something new

This is where your Yellow friends come in handy. Blues are not very spontaneous and they are risk averse. They really like routine. Not that you have to take a great risk or forgo your beloved routine, but it’s important that you experience life. Rather than taking the same vacation to the same beach year after year, try going to Paris or Portugal. Instead of ordering the same fajitas at Chili’s, go out on a limb and try the buffalo wings (they’re delicious!)

4. Tell yourself you’re amazing

You know that scene in “What About Bob?” when Bill Murray is chanting to himself, “I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful?” Well, it may be a good idea for you to come up with your own mantra along the lines of, “I AM good, I AM great, I AM wonderful.” Blues are hard on themselves. They have unrealistic expectations of themselves and demand a lot from themselves. You’re not going to change that overnight, but it’s important to have a healthy relationship with yourself, and you’re probably going to like yourself a whole lot more if you treat yourself better. Even if you feel silly, telling yourself you’re amazing every day may help combat some of that self-doubt!

5. Forgive someone who didn’t measure up!

Blues forgive less than the other personalities. Blues are capable of forgiving, they just have a hard time doing it. They take things personally and when an offense occurs, it roots itself at their deepest core, making forgiveness a much more difficult challenge than for other colors. Blues are also very critical of themselves and of others. Don’t worry Blues, you have fantastic strengths, but it’s important that you hear the limitations as well so you can work to become better. The next time someone says something that offends you, try to work on choosing not to take it personally and letting it go — especially if they didn’t mean offense!

Exhale. Blues, that may have been painful to read at times and it may have been positive and enlightening to read. Whatever you felt while reading this, just know you are an extremely important personality and we want you to have a positive relationship with yourself and others. If anyone over 30 has accomplished these feats, share your perspective in the comments below!
— The Color Code Team

Admiring and Learning From the White Personality

Whites are the peaceful, calm, kind people among us. And though they have limitations like the rest of us, they have really admirable strengths. In this article, we will explore some of those strengths so us Yellows, Blues and Reds can appreciate and hopefully replicate them.

You know that moment when someone irks you and you snap back an angry retort, only to wish you could take it back seconds after you say it? A lot of us say things we regret frequently and maybe wish we could just learn to keep our mouths shut. For those who are nodding their head, let’s step out of our own lives for a minute and learn how to be more like the personality type who emulates qualities we so wish we had: The Whites.

Whites are accepting

Have you ever had that friend who you could talk to without being judged or with whom you felt didn’t expect you to be more than simply who you are? There’s a good chance either their primary or secondary color was White. Whites have the easiest time of all the colors being friends with each of the four personalities. Whites are able to find the good in anyone, so accepting others is easy for them. People like the fact that Whites have minimal expectations of others. Whites value others for their diversity, and in return, people seek their nonjudgmental companionship. Whites like doing just about anything with anyone in any place.

Whites are diplomatic

Whites move quietly through life with an easy, unruffled style. They work to obtain a peaceful coexistence among all things living. Whites are very compatible with almost everyone they encounter because they have a gentle diplomacy that normally shines through. Do you have any friends who seem to get along easily with difficult personalities or at least personalities that are difficult for you to get along with? They may be a White! Whites are the only color that can score 25 percent on each color of the Color Code profile. Their fluidity allows them to embrace other colors’ gifts, but their innate core remains peace.

Whites are peaceful

Whites are amazing peacemakers. They sincerely believe in the value of diplomacy and they diligently seek to promote cooperation at all costs. It confuses them when people fight over petty issues. They don’t want to start fights. The social media world would benefit from more Whites. We’ve likely all witnessed awkward, resentful fights about politics, religion or maybe even what so-and-so wore to the Grammy’s on Facebook and it’s amazing what people say to each other behind a screen. The Whites are the ones staying out of it and surely enjoying their day far more than everyone else because of it!

Whites are tolerant and patient

Whites feel it is important for them to hear and see all sides of an issue before forming their opinion. What an admirable quality! Therefore, they invite differences of opinion where other personalities don’t. They are a lot less biased than other personalities, so they are able to enjoy a large variety of people and preferences without prejudice. Whites are charitable about others’ motives and choices despite the negative impact said motives and choices may have on them.

Maybe you knew Whites were great, but did you know how amazing they can be?! Our world is a much better place because of the White personalities in our midst. They’re not going to show off their qualities, so it’s important that we recognize and value them. Next time you’re wrapped up in an argument, think about what a White would do, and you’ll come out on top! Hopefully by learning about and trying to apply these qualities in your own life, you will be happier individuals!

-The Color Code Team

Parent Like a Red: 7 Tips for Raising Amazing Children!

A Color Code expert teaches a Red about the positive qualities she brings to parenting.

Dear Jeremy,

As a high Red, What sorts of positive traits do I bring to parenting? (I’m very well aware of the obstacles/negative traits). I really struggle to feel fulfilled at home with little kids, especially because I have a high-powered job that I find exciting and challenging … but I also want to be happy on the weekends when I’m home with my kids!

Thanks!!

Lisa C.

====================

Dear Lisa,

Thank you so much for asking this question! I’ve been married to a wonderful Red for over 18 years. We have four kids who adore her; however, sometimes she doesn’t see the same value in herself as they see in her. Sound familiar?

So, I’d like to answer your question and dedicate this post to both of you so that you can hopefully see the gift that you are to the rest of us.

Obviously work and family life are very different. As a Red, sometimes work life may seem quite a bit easier. You are challenged. You make things happen. You have goals and deadlines. And then, of course, there are those wonderful weekly paychecks!

It’s all so logical, and dysfunction is not tolerated long-term because if you can’t be efficient and productive (my wife’s favorite adjectives), you will simply be asked to find another job.

Right?! It’s a Red’s kind of world, for sure.

Then there’s family life, which can be so opposite.

It can be so irrational at times. You try to make things happen, but sometimes those darn 3-year-olds just refuse to cooperate! People create chaos instead of order. Children can be defiant, and there is very little respect for their “leaders.”

There are no scheduled “emotional paychecks,” and you can’t “fire” your kids for not measuring up to expectations.

BUT…

Your nature brings so many gifts to their very existence from which they will benefit for the rest of their lives.

I’m prepared to give you seven examples here:

1. You teach and model urgency.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”

As a Red parent, you teach your kids, by example, to be go-getters. You instill in them a sense that if you want something in life, you need to take the responsibility upon yourself to make it happen.

They may not like it at the time. They may even fight you on it, but those hard lessons pay BIG dividends later in life.

2. You are a practical problem solver.

You see logical answers to problems and instinctively move to solve them. When your children are emotional and frazzled, you don’t get drawn into the despair. No, you RALLY! (and you teach them to do the same).

Learning to move from an unproductive emotional state to a more productive rational one is a tool that your children absolutely need in order to thrive in a world that is full of problems, challenges and complicated issues that will affect them.

3. You create action and adventure.

There are two types of people in this world – those who have grand dreams and those who actively pursue them.

What kind of person do you hope your child will be?

Walt Disney said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” The focus here, of course, is on the action and the achievement – not the daydream.

That is one of the great gifts you bring to the table. If your child told you that he/she wanted to try out for the basketball team, or be a heart surgeon, or travel through Europe, you would never respond by saying something like, “wouldn’t that be nice?”

No way! Through my own personal experience, I know what you would do is help them chart their course and gather the supplies they will need for their journey.

4. You help them feel secure.

Whether you realize it or not, I promise that to your children, you are an absolute rock. Kids need that, because sometimes even kid life can be scary.

In their eyes, you are fearless. You are bold. And if, by chance, a mountain somewhere needed to be moved, they know you could do it.

I know you feel insecure inside – just like everybody else – but you likely don’t show it or panic under pressure or get easily overwhelmed. Never underestimate the value of that.

Further, Red parents tend to be resourceful in providing for the financial security of families. They work hard and smart to always keep things on track and to prepare for the future.

5. You provide structure.

Kids don’t want to be responsible, dislike doing homework and hate eating their vegetables (at least the non-Blue kids – haha!)

Your response? “Tough!”

You teach that there must be structure and order to things. You know the value of responsibility and have your sight set on a much larger vision. You are willing to sacrifice in the short term to win in the end.

Show me an adult who never learned that lesson, and I’ll show you a very limited and unfulfilled human being. That is NOT an option for your kids – even if you have to be the “bad guy” every now and then.

6. You teach them to be resolute and to never give up!

Victories that come easily do little to shape character. One year, my wife chose the following theme for our family: “We can do hard things.” She pushed everyone to challenge themselves to do something difficult and daunting, which is a very Red mind set.

You never shy away from a challenge, and if you decide you are going to compete for something, you will stop at nothing on your way to achieving your goal.

You teach your children to have that same resolve. You help them learn from their mistakes and rise up stronger and better each time they fall short.

7. You give them the confidence to believe in themselves!

Self-confidence comes from doing, from achieving, from taking something on and seeing it through to the end.

That style is all you know, and you support your children in adopting that same mentality.

I have a daughter with a White personality. She is naturally abundantly kind, but is not necessarily outgoing and friendly. She wanted to run for student government, but didn’t think she would be elected.

In stepped my Red wife, whom I affectionately refer to as my daughter’s “life coach.” She gives her mini-assignments to work on daily. Some are as simple as asking three people what they did over the weekend and then show interest in their responses. Some are outlining the steps for a successful campaign, or asking her how she would design posters and handouts, etc.

Would you believe that my daughter is her 9th grade class president and is running for president again next year?

Confidence, like anything, can be taught, and I can think of no better role model than YOU.

In conclusion…

So there you have it, Lisa. I hope that you are beginning to see the wonder of who you are and what you mean to your children.

Can you imagine what they will achieve in the future and the example they will grow up to be for their children and their grandchildren because of the lessons you teach on a daily basis?

You are establishing a legacy that we should all work to emulate.

Here’s to the magic of YOU!

Jeremy Daniel

Jeremy Daniel is the Vice President of Training for Color Code. He leads our Trainer Certification Program and has been teaching the Color Code and delivering motive-based applications to clients internationally since 1998.

Do Personality Tests “Profile?”

There are many very positive reasons companies use personality assessments as an integral part of their recruitment model and management training process. These valuable tools benefit not only the company using them, but their future employees as well.

As more and more companies are using personality tests as recruitment and management tools, the question arises, “Do these tests profile?”

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of profile includes, “…the extent to which an individual exhibits traits or abilities as determined by tests or ratings.”

So, in the very strict sense of the word, the answer is yes.

However, the way in which the question is asked often indicates that personality testing is negative and intrusive — a violation of our most personal self, and perhaps that is the issue that should be addressed.

What Color Code profiles is a person’s innate personality and, in fact, we go deeper to profile a person’s driving core motive. In other words, we identify the needs and wants, instincts and preferences based on what driving core motive they were born with.

Why is this positive?

Corporate Culture

Businesses, like people, have personalities that shape their corporate culture. It is important for both the company and the employee to ensure a good cultural fit. In fact, Harvard Business Review states that according to the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), “Culture fit is the glue that holds an organization together. That’s why it’s a key trait to look for when recruiting. The result of poor culture fit due to turnover can cost an organization between 50-60 percent of the person’s annual salary.”

As an example, imagine that you run a company with a proven laid-back style. You don’t have a time clock or dress code. You trust that your employees will put in their time whenever. Creativity is important, and you provide a room with a Ping-Pong table and beanbag chairs to stimulate brainstorming. Now imagine that one of your job candidates has all of the qualifications you require, but believes in the adage “dress for success” and thinks employees should adhere to a strict timetable and should buckle down to work “while on the clock.” It is unlikely that he will change his personality and accept the laid-back style — leading to a very real possibility of conflict and discontentment, leaving everyone unhappy.

Management

Studies abound on the subject of employee retention. Without exception the saying “employees don’t leave companies, they leave managers” is the main theme. Forbes Magazine states, “Wherever the macro trends are headed, the ability to engage and retain talented employees is a critical skill for managers.”

Providing managers with the tools to facilitate the communication style required with each personality is of great value. Knowing the needs and wants—what makes them tick—is integral in the communication process. If, for example, you have an employee who is a smart, hard-working problem solver but likes to work by himself and avoids interoffice conflict at all costs, you would know that rewarding him with a management position might not be what is best for him or the company.

Employee Engagement

A Gallup study of 7,272 U.S. adults revealed that one in two had left their job to get away from their manager to improve their overall life at some point in their career. According to the same study, and equally troubling, is that employees who have a bad relationship with their boss can be up to a staggering 70 percent disengaged.

That means that for every employee who is engaged nearly three are not! The cost of employee disengagement and employee attrition can have a huge and negative effect on a company’s bottom line.

Color Code believes that any color can do any job, but based on the innate motive of an individual, we can also pinpoint the likelihood that person WANTS to do that job — and therefore will be content doing it. We can determine, based on the employees’ needs and wants, the likelihood that they will fit comfortably within the corporate culture — a win/win for the company and the employee.

Personality assessments have been used in the Western civilization since the time of Hippocrates—whose own personality assessment determined that we are not homogenous personality-wise, and there is nothing negative about that.

Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.