Never Underestimate the Yellow!

I have been fortunate enough to supervise hundreds of individuals in their daily work over the last fifteen years.  This has afforded me the opportunity to learn from many mistakes including underestimating the power and the potential of the Yellow personality type.  The reality—if the Yellow finds joy in their work, they can and often will be stars!

To understand why the Yellow personality is often underestimated and even misunderstood, we’ll take a brief look at the Red, Blue and White under a critical but common work condition—stress caused by heavy and challenging workloads.

The Red: This personality will put her nose to the grindstone; many a brow has been furrowed and never a smile has been cracked by the Red in this situation.  Everything becomes “act now, ask questions later.”  This personality often expects everyone else to close their mouths and move their hands and anyone not doing so must simply be irresponsible.

The Blue: This personality gets very serious and the worry begins to pile up quickly.  The Blue will often do a “deep-dive” into all that can, might, and (in their mind) will go wrong.  Anyone who doesn’t sympathize with them “just doesn’t care”according to the Blue.  Then the Blue will probably begin to plan how to dig himself out of the hole he perceives himself to be in.  This planning process can be intense and exhaustive.

The White: The White will commonly react one of two ways.  The first way, if they are not in charge of things, is that they will retreat into their own space and put on some headphones and close a door.  The second, if they are in charge of things, is that they will in a very calm, collected and focused way analyze the circumstances and take swift and simple action to remove or mitigate the offending stressors, usually without too much discussion or explanation unless someone asks “why?”.

These are commonly what the Red, Blue and White do, and expect from others.  Clearly the Yellow is the odd duck out.  The other colors all get serious and focused but the Yellow goes the other direction.  Their instincts tell them to first lighten things up, help those around them relax – it’s much more enjoyable to deal with a heavy work load when you’re relaxed and laughing while you’re working.   They want to get creative with solutions, or make work a game because that’s a fun way to approach challenges.   So, on the surface, the Yellow appears to be “wasting time” (says Red), that he or she “just doesn’t care” (says Blue) or is an “unfocused distraction” (says White).   The result: the Yellow is often misunderstood, underestimated and disregarded.

Now let’s learn how to leverage the natural strengths of the Yellow in challenging work times.

The first thing we must do is value the way they do things.  We must accept that just because they’re smiling and laughing, it doesn’t mean they aren’t working hard – in fact, they are usually working at their peaks when they are smiling and laughing.

The next thing we can do is to leverage them in the right situations:

  • Give them freedom within boundaries for best results.
  • Seek their input when “outside the box” problem solving is required.  They are creative thinkers and relish an opportunity to ignore standard protocol.  It’s like a puzzle to them!
  • Utilize their natural gifts at livening up a crowd—make them the emcee of an event, give them the responsibility of leading a companywide meeting, put them in charge of social and community out-reach.
  • Give them the reins when a flashy, high-impact, high-energy business presentation is needed.
  • Insert them into a team that doesn’t have a yellow. Without a Yellow, things get serious fast and just get more serious from there.
  • They are amazing at sales if they believe in the product.  They’ll bring energy and positivity to the selling cycle.
  • If you have a Yellow leader that has already proven him/herself, they are the most natural at implementing change.  Change is difficult for many (think Blue, White, Red if they disagree) and the Yellow will most easily communicate the positives of change and their enthusiasm is infectious.
  • The Yellow can be very effective at delivering important announcements, especially if she is allowed to write the announcement herself.  They are very genuine people and audiences can feel and respond positively to that.
  • Pay attention, you never know what a Yellow will find fun or joyful.  When they do find it, they will become stars. (I know a Yellow who is a secondary white that loves filing papers!!)

The last thing we must do is recognize and appreciate their impact and their value.  They experience life through their emotions. When they sense our appreciation, it becomes a joyful experience for them which leads them to want to repeat their performance.  Think of joy as fun and it all makes sense.

So it comes down to this: 1) Value their way, 2) leverage them in the right situation, 3) and appreciate their contribution.

Let me leave you with a story of a close friend that was underestimated. He worked in a sales-driven company and he hit a glass ceiling.  He was passed over for promotion several times.  The feedback he got was that he was good at the job, got great results and people liked him, but he just wasn’t serious enough. No surprise, he eventually left after feeling under appreciated. He became a realtor and in one year’s time became the second leading sales person in all of America for single-family homes in his company that has thousands of realtors across the country. Over 60 homes in less than 12 months sold!!  He loves house hunting, he finds joy in helping others, and he sees the potential in every home.   His broker valued his style, leveraged his personality and appreciated his accomplishments. CC

Pangelinan, Derek,

Derek Pangelinan (core Red, with a Blue secondary) specializes in Talent and Leadership Development and Leadership Training for Fred Meyer Stores, a division of The Kroger  Co.  Fred Meyer was just voted as the #4 Top Large Work Place in Oregon (The Oregonian Newspaper).  His wife and two boys are all Yellow.

 

Ask the Expert

Dear Jeremy,

Woof! I need some help! I’m a Blue (Secondary White), married to a STRONG Red (Secondary Yellow) with an almost pure Yellow (secondary possibly White) child! Which explains why at age 33 I have more white hair than people double my age lol. Anyone else in a similar challenging relationship/family structure and how do you (in particular my fellow blues) manage?

Sincerely, 

Marquis Dawkins

====================

Dear Marquis,

Your question makes me think of something I’ve heard Dr. Hartman say a hundred times while addressing an audience. He says, “If you are a Blue, married to a Red and you have a Yellow child, just know that God is having a great laugh!”.

I’m sure you probably know exactly why, right? 😉

I really do feel for you, and I have a few words of advice… First of all, I think that it’s fantastic that you are learning about the Color Code. I’m not sure how deep your knowledge goes, but if you haven’t read the book, listened to the seminar CDs or attended a live workshop in the past, it’s probably time you start with some additional education. The book is the least expensive option, of course, and a little bit of knowledge will go a looooonnnng way for you.

Second of all, while you are learning, one of the best lessons you can understand is how to set accurate and reasonable expectations for what you can (and can’t) expect from these important relationships. For example, with your spouse being a Red, you probably can’t expect (or demand) a deep, intimate connection all the time. It may be something that you would like, but you have to realize that it takes a lot of extra work for your spouse to get there – just like it takes extra work for you to be blunt with people, or take risks, or just forget about work for a day and go play. This will help take some of the pressure off and hopefully decrease the amount of worry that you may feel that is directly related to these relationships. If you are like most Blues, you probably set really high (…as in—unreasonable) expectations for yourself and for others. When people – like your Yellow child—for instance, don’t live up to those expectations, you feel let down, and he/she may feel as though he/she will never measure up. It’s not easy for either of you in that scenario… and then of course, you feel guilty. So that’s why it’s important to manage those expectations and allow people to be who they are. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that “different” does not mean “wrong” —especially where others’ behaviors and life attitudes are concerned.

The third, and last piece of advice that I have for you goes hand-in-hand with the last one. It is to learn to not take things personally. As a Blue, that can be tough, but once you figure out how to do it, you will feel liberated. You really will.

Listen, Reds and Yellows both can be insensitive at times. With Reds you really need to realize that whatever it is that they say—no matter how harsh it sounds—is not meant as a personal attack. They really don’t have time for that, if you think about it. With Yellows, on the other hand, you have to learn to accept some playful teasing—even if it’s a little more than you feel comfortable with. Trust me. I’m a Yellow, and I know what I’m talking about here. If a Yellow doesn’t like you, they don’t tease you. So, when you experience a little ribbing from your Yellow child, or general playfulness, it’s probably a good sign.

Life and relationships can be complicated. I hope that my response here today helps you decode some of the things you deal with on a daily basis.

Onward and upward!

Very best of living,

Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International
jeremy@colorcode.com

 

Jeremy Daniel (Core Color: Yellow) has been working with the Color Code since 1998 in various capacities from training in the field personally with Dr. Taylor Hartman to designing customized corporate solutions and new training programs for various industries.  To ask about Jeremy’s training or speaking services, please email and inquiry to jeremy@colorcodetraining.com.

In the Ring: Heavyweight vs. Lightweight

When I first received my Color Code comprehensive assessment it confirmed what I always expected, I’m a bit crazy and complicated. The first sentence actually said, “Welcome to one of the most complex personalities known to man.” I knew it and I’m pretty sure my friends and family did too, but now I had proof!

As a Blue/Red I am a super control freak. I’m all heavyweight with barely an ounce of White or peace in my life. Go figure.

I was very excited after reading my assessment and taking the Color Code training classes. So excited in fact, I shared the tests with everyone including my boyfriend. I always knew my boyfriend and I were opposites, but I never realized HOW different. Here I am, the get it done, cross everything off my to do list type person and here was my Yellow/White boyfriend-all lightweight.

After the first year of dating wore off— (you know when the rainbows, butterflies, and sitting on Cloud 9 goes away and you start to experience a real relationship), we started to face off—heavyweight vs. lightweight. Being both emotional thinkers first, our fights weren’t pretty.

So how did we fair in the boxing ring?

Round 1: What’s my purpose in life?

Like many people, this is a question I am struggling with. I spend every day taking personality and career tests trying to find my purpose. I ponder it night and day, worrying that if I don’t say yes to helping every nonprofit or friend, I may miss my calling or connection that introduces me to my purposeful job. My lightweight boyfriend on the other hand, doesn’t seem to worry much. He enjoys his job of teaching tennis. Does he aspire to do other things in life? Yes, he’s sure of it, but for now he loves teaching tennis and has no other long-term goals. I couldn’t fathom this at first.” You don’t have a list of goals?” I asked, “I have a new list every month. You don’t ever worry you may be wasting time?”

“Nope,” he said and then countered, “How is it a waste of time enjoying the beautiful here and now? Sounds like you’re wasting your life away worrying, Brittany.” The lightweight had a point.

Through the years he has taught me that if I learn to go with the flow a little more and enjoy the present, perhaps my purpose would reveal itself naturally. Plus, I would be a lot happier having fun in the present. It’s a work in progress for this Heavy weight to let go, but having him around is a good reminder. Round 1 goes to the lightweight.

Round 2: How clean should a house be?

I am definitely not a super neat freak, but I am clean. Yes, I may have a messy closet or desk, but in general, my house is in top condition, especially in the areas where guests may come. I have a schedule for cleaning, I make sure everything is put away, and love a fresh scent of cinnamon apples always drifting through the house. The lightweight is beyond messy. He would prefer to spend time doing fun things instead of wasting time cleaning. The problem came when I tripped as I tried walking through his messy apartment or the time I found moldy food on the floor and started to throw up. “How can you live like this,” I screamed between gags. He shrugged and said he didn’t notice.

When he moved in with me, he finally did admit that it was nice to be in a clean, homey place. I felt a small sense of victory until I realized I was cleaning for two now, because he was complimenting MY cleaning skills, not volunteering to clean. I handed him the vacuum and said “great, glad you like it. Let’s get to work.” Round 2 goes to the heavyweight.

Round 3: What type of vacation do you want to take?

As a Blue/Red, I’ve been known to bring a folder of everything needed for a vacation. Sample itineraries, the top ten places to eat in the area, coupons…you name it; I am prepared for anything on the trip. I like to learn the history of the area and memorize the map. My boyfriend has been impressed with my restaurant choices and the quirky “must see” places I’ve taken him too, but he’s never been impressed with my fully loaded itineraries. “Vacations are for resting, too,” he said.

I yelled back, “Vacations are for seeing everything just in case you never go back to that location before you die.” Yes, blues can be dangerously pessimistic.

A few weeks ago, he decided one night in advance that we would go to NYC to watch the U.S. Open tennis matches the next day. Was I excited? Yes. Did he have any idea where we were going to stay when hundreds of thousands of people where descending on New York to watch the U.S. Open, let alone everyone else who visits New York?  No.

I searched for over four hours, almost ready to throw the computer at the lightweight for not mentioning this trip sooner and already buying tickets. Finally, I found one lone hotel in Manhattan for $132 a night- affordable and three stars. Was it extremely small? Yes. Did it have a bed and a shower? Perfect.

So who won this round? NYC was amazing even last minute, but my vacations have also been amazing. I make this round a tie. Sometimes spontaneity is great, but sometimes a little planning helps make the trip go more smoothly.

Round 4: The Winner

One of the first things I learned in Color Code Training was to make sure I tell my training classes that no color is better than another color. So don’t worry, I am not going to deem Blue/Reds better than Yellow/Whites (although some days I am a bit partial). Instead, I am going to tell you a couple lessons I have learned from my Color Code experience.

The fights my boyfriend and I were having over vacations, houses, jobs, goals etc., were definitely culminating to pretty tough boxing matches on a daily basis. It all started to change the night I had him take the Color Code test. We sat reading each other’s comprehensive assessments and both got teary eyed. All those things we sometimes hated about each other, we actually began to understand the motivation behind them. I realized that I really did love the beauty of a Yellow. He was able to always see the positive, stay in the present moment and go with the flow. He really did wake up singing and excited for each day. He also realized that he adored many of my Blue qualities like my thoughtfulness and how detail-oriented I am. He said my qualities made up for his faults. A few days later he bought me a yin yang bracelet and said it reminded him of us because our strengths and weaknesses even each other out. It was an important reminder that we really do need all four colors in this world. It also taught me to continue working on adding Yellow and White qualities to my life in pursuit of balance. CC

Brittany Barhite Pic

Brittany Barhite is a Color Code trainer in Toledo, OH. She oversees communications for a nonprofit. Throughout her career she has worked in training and change management, as well as marketing. She has her masters in communications and also teaches small group communications and public speaking at a community college.

The Pet Code?

The Color Code works great on people. What about pets? Do they have personalities too? Fascinating question.

Every animal lover knows that yes, animals do have very distinct personalities. I remember my old dog Xander. He was definitely a Yellow. He was all about fun. Very extroverted. Xander had to be in the middle of the action ALL the time. He HAD to meet everybody. Everyone HAD to pet him. After that, it was play time! If you didn’t play and run with him, he’d grab something of yours and take off with it to make you chase him! Fun. Fun. Fun.

My mother-in-law’s dog was completely different. She got a new puppy: Aunt Bee. You would think a puppy would be even more playful. Nope. I would describe her as more of a Red. She was all business. She didn’t like all of Xander’s horse play and monkey business. It annoyed her and made her mad. Even as a puppy she liked to be in charge. The top dog. She did not enjoy or appreciate Xander’s antics. Xander would come up to her with a toy. He would try to tease her and entice her into playing. She would have no part of it. When Bee’s patience wore thin, she would actually start to growl and snap at Xander when he approached to play. Amazing for a puppy.

Our second dog was Blitzen. He was very different from Xander. He was a great dog. Very intelligent. He trained very quickly. In Color Code, I’d say he was a Blue. Very dependable. Very loyal and responsible. He was a perfectionist about following the rules. Xander meant to follow the rules. He just got distracted by all the fun and forgot sometimes. Not so with Blitzen. At his first obedience class I put him in a sit stay. There was a wild mob of crazy puppies all running around him playing. He was still a puppy himself but he would not budge. They ran into him. Chewed on his ear. Grabbed his tail. Still he sat and watched for my command. Amazing control.

Xander was all play. Blitzen was all work. His ‘job’, as he saw it, was to guard the children. He constantly patrolled the house and the yard checking on people. After his rounds he would go sit quietly somewhere off in the corner where he could keep an eye on things. He always followed the rules and he expected the kids to follow the rules also. When they got too loud and rambunctious he would get upset. He started running around them in circles. Gently nipping at their heels to herd them into a safe pocket where he could get them to settle down some. Xander never did this. He would have been in the middle, jumping and playing right along with them.

Blitzen was introverted. He usually liked to go sit by himself somewhere. He also worried a lot. The kids were his flock to look after. When they went out the gate to play with the kids down the street, he panicked. He couldn’t go along! He was absolutely frantic with worry the entire time they were gone. Nothing could distract him. When they did come back home for dinner he had to carefully inspect everyone and check them over. Make sure there were no injuries. Then he moped around like he felt guilty that he let everyone down for the day. Xander? Completely different. He would have been mad at first that the kids took off without him. He would have forgotten all about that a moment later when a butterfly wandered past. He would have instantly made a game out of chasing the butterfly! When the kids came back he would have been excited and ready to play again.

Do animals have distinct personalities? Yes. Some are quiet and timid. Some are exuberant and playful. Some are careful and worry. Some are bold and dominating. They are born with an innate primary core motive. Just like people. And guess what? They have conflicts, behavioral and relationship problems too! What is your personality? What it the personality of your pet? What about other family members and other pets? How do they all get along or have conflict? Can you use the Color Code as a guide to deal with pet problems too? Absolutely.

Xander needed to play. You can’t leave a dog like that locked up in a house all day and then come home and expect him to just sit quietly and behave. You are going to have bad behavior as a result. Xander would actually get mad if he didn’t get enough play time and attention. He would start tearing things up and destroying stuff around the house. –Things he knew were wrong and ordinarily would never do. Consider his color. This dog NEEDS fun. Take him out for a walk/run. Not feeling that energetic after work? Play a game of fetch. Let him do all the running. Just like with people: help him obtain his core motive, then sit back and watch the magic.

 

Barrington,MarshallWhen he is not playing poker or living in his 20’ Sioux tipi in the Rockies, Marshall Barrington lives in a small quiet Swedish town in central Kansas with his family.  He has degrees in Business Administration, Marketing and Psychology.  He trains, hires and manages new insurance adjusters to process claims at catastrophe sites.  He is also a Certified Color Code trainer.  His highly acclaimed classes apply Color Code to specific problems:  Management, Sales, Human Resources, Dating, Marriage, Parenting and a new workshop for Fiction Writers -Using Color Code to create realistic Characters, conflict & dialogue. 

 

 

Getting It! Free to Jr. High and High Schools

It’s written, tested, and free for educators. Getting It!, Color Code’s new curriculum for secondary school students and teachers, will be made available to all junior high and high schools for the 2013/2014 school year free of the traditional corporate sponsorship requirement.

Getting It! is made up of two fifty-minute units that can be integrated into existing social sciences curricula. Unit 1, Getting Yourself educates the students about why they do what they do and how to build on the strengths and eliminate the weaknesses of their innate personality. Unit 2, Getting Others, provides the students with the skills necessary to develop interpersonal skills and improve critical relationships—specifically with peers, teachers and parents.

We have also prepared a special student output of our personality test which not only educates students on their personality, but contains exercises to reinforce what they have learned about themselves and others as well as careers to consider, study tips for their personality types and more.

Teachers simply fill out one form per class and submit it to a Color Code education representative. They will then receive instructions and teaching materials as well as be assigned codes for each of their students to take the full personality test free of charge. The assessment results of the students will then be populated into an easy to use spreadsheet for classroom use.

You teachers out there know that each year you are presented with a sea of new faces for which you must create connection and meaning. The students behind the faces represent tremendous variety in their personal histories and family cultures.

Even so, to be effective, you must make sense of the students’ individuality as well as create an environment where they can feel included and eager to learn.

Color Code’s powerful, yet easily implemented, new tool not only helps the students identify their own needs and wants, but provides them with insight into the needs and wants of those with whom they are in critical relationships.

Sue Reber, a junior-high-school teacher from Utah, states, “The Color Code helps students to quickly see that we have differences, different motivations, different strengths, different limitations and that it is okay to be different.”

Educators know that their work goes far beyond the classroom and are often eager to make a long-lasting impact with students. We at Color Code are excited about this wonderful new program and it’s ability to help educators do just that.

If you’re a secondary school teacher or know one who you think would benefit from using the Color Code in their classroom, please have them go to the link below and fill out our interest form.

Here’s to a better tomorrow,

The Color Code Team

http://www.colorcode.com/education/educational-opportunities

Relationship Breakups and Reconciliations

For the past few months, I have given quite a bit of thought to relationships, breakups and reconciliations. Not my own, but other peoples’.

Before I go further, let me say this: My husband and I met in high school and haven’t been apart since. We’ve had the usual squabbles one has in a marriage—especially a Red/Blue marriage—but none of these have resulted in separation. Because I have never dated, broken-up, been jilted, cheated on, or experienced any of the other missteps that ruin relationships, I freely admit that I am in no position to give advice on how a person should feel when they are faced with the pain.

What I am, is an observer of human nature—and often, I am appalled at how people react when in the throes of a breakup. I have seen people behave in ways that are completely out of character for them. They become angry, vindictive, slanderous, and conniving. They seek ways to make their former partner angry, jealous, and miserable. All the while, they are in mourning and hopeful of reconciliation.

So, as a logical observer, I can’t tell you how you should feel, but following is what I believe is good advice how you just might want to move forward:

1. Take 100% responsibility for the dissolution of the relationship

Sadly, many of us play the role of victim. We have been taught by society that our problems are not our own doing and that we are blameless. By feeling misunderstood, abandoned, and/or neglected, we have a tendency to play the blame game. If you have had a breakup, you need to look inward and take responsibility for your part in the separation.

If you have hope of reconciliation, never (and I mean never) heap all the blame on your partner. Don’t tell your friends and family what a horrible person he/she is. Don’t tell them about every little argument you had, what names were called, or what slights were committed. If and when you do reconcile, you will find that your friends and family are not so keen to welcome your partner back with open arms. You may be on top of the world, but those who listened and watched you suffer will be resentful and distrustful, causing a new rift in your relationship.

2. Think before you post

When you post about your troubles on Facebook or other social sites, you tell the world (literally) about your personal life. Not only are your friends privy to the tale, so then are their friends, and their friends. And, these tales are up there forever.

I have a “friend” on Facebook who posts about her boyfriend on a regular basis. One minute she’s madly in love with the guy, the next minute she regales us with their latest battles, breakups, and makeups. It didn’t take me long to go from “poor her” to “stupid her”. You can only play the victim card for so long before the rest of us are wondering if you’ve lost you mind by returning to the brute (who, by the way, may not be a brute at all.)

You do need friends at this difficult time, but social networking isn’t the answer. Neither is telling everyone at the office, home, or in line at the grocery store. As much as you want to talk about it, not everyone is interested in listening. Pick a few friends who will be honest with you and whose advice you can trust. A friend who agrees with everything you say isn’t the answer to your problem. Also, reread number one.

3. Remember the golden rule “Do unto others …”

Have you ever heard the quote “the greatest revenge is happiness?”  As difficult as this sounds, the best thing you can do is to get on with your life. If the subject comes up, say what a good person your ex is and how things just didn’t work out, but you wish him/her the best. Word will get back to them. This should make him/her contrite.

Forget the games, and figure out what you want to make you happy. If the person you are estranged from does that for you, then its time to re-evaluate the issues that caused the problems to begin with. What could you have done differently? What are your buttons? Once you’ve put in some honest reflection, and if you’ve come to the conclusion the relationship could work, then put aside your pride and initiate a conversation…oh, and reread number one.

4. Take the Color Code test

This is perhaps the most important advice. The ability to have a healthy, successful relationship may not be innate, but you and your partner have behaviors that are. Learn your partner’s driving core motive, and all the strengths and limitations that come with it. Truly knowing your partner, and understanding why they do what they do, will set you firmly on the road to insight and problem solving. This insight has helped my husband and I learn to cut each other a lot of slack. I no longer give him the eye-roll for his constant worrying, and he no longer nudges me aside so he can finish whatever chore he wants done his way.

5. Finally—fish or cut bait

Some couples break up and reconcile with such frequency, your friends and family don’t pay it any mind until they’re doing their Christmas shopping and wondering if your significant other will require a gift.

Don’t fall into that trap.

The more often you vacate the relationship, the easier it becomes. Surly, nobody wins in a situation like that.  Reread number one.

Each of us is looking for that perfect soul mate. Do they exist? Probably not—except maybe in the movies. We sigh when we hear the leading man say all the right things, and the leading lady respond with loving admiration and we wonder why our partner doesn’t do that. Don’t waste your time wondering—scriptwriters can create a perfect relationship—one that lasts approximately 120 minutes. The truth is, in the real world, a solid relationship is hard work, and a tremendous responsibility—and worth it. CC

 

Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.

 

 

Ask the Expert

Dear Jeremy,

I recently read in the People Code book that both Reds and Whites are very logic-based in general, which can be a positive element in a Red-White relationship. I have to say that this did surprise me a little, though, as I’m a White married to a Red, and he seems to be much more emotional than I do at times. Can you explain why that is? Is he an emotional Red, maybe?

Regards,

Julie

====================

Dear Julie,

Thank you so much for the excellent question because it does seem paradoxical that Reds would display much emotion. I know exactly what you are talking about, though, and I hope that this simple explanation makes sense to you…

First of all, you are correct in that Reds and Whites are both logic-based. (Blues and Yellows are more emotion-based). And, while I don’t know your husband personally, my guess is that he is probably not an “emotional Red”. However, I suppose that if he had a strong Blue or Yellow Secondary Color, that may actually be true when he is drawing from his Secondary.

For my “official” answer, though, I just want to treat this as though he were a Red purist with no significant Secondary Color. I want to do it this way to show that even in situations with individuals who are extremely Red, their behavior may indeed be more emotionally demonstrative than that of a White.

The reason why Reds can display more emotion in their behavior—in a word—is simply “urgency”. Reds have to get things done. They need to get from point “A” to point “B”, because they are motivated by Power. When they get stuck or delayed, or when things aren’t happening according to plan, they can get extremely frustrated and angry. They don’t feel like they are in control, or they are afraid of falling short, so they lose their cool and erupt.

Whites, on the other hand, usually stay in a place of rational thinking for a lot longer – sometimes indefinitely. That’s why when you compare these two logical thinkers/processors, a Red will appear to be much more emotional than a White. They are not usually emotional in the sense that they want to share feelings or think from an emotional standpoint, but they do display a lot more frustration, anger, impatience, and/or anxiety when things feel out of their control.

Thanks, so much, Julie, for your question, and I do hope that this explanation helps.

Very best of living,

Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International

 

Jeremy Daniel (Core Color: Yellow) has been working with the Color Code since 1998 in various capacities from training in the field personally with Dr. Taylor Hartman to designing customized corporate solutions and new training programs for various industries.  To ask about Jeremy’s training or speaking services, please email and inquiry to jeremy@colorcodetraining.com.

My Color Code Journey

PamMatherI was blessed to be introduced to The Color Code about 5 years ago.  Prior to the taking the test, I’d struggled my whole life with finding my identity, my opinion, my personality…I wasn’t quite sure who I was and it had a very negative effect on my confidence and self-esteem. Now, you’re probably saying, “Oh, you’re a white personality!” But I had a long road ahead of me before I would embrace this fact.

When I heard about The Color Code, I was excited at the premise of getting a grasp on who I was, who I could become.  When I took the test, I sat near my husband, who also took the test; he is the honest, relational one, always doing the right thing…a blue personality…and my test results stated that I was a blue personality, also. I thought that was fantastic! What a great pair we are! But as we began to explore this personality, my family could see that there was something “off” about my test result. I argued and tried justifying my “blue nature”, only to find that I was lying to myself.  I hadn’t tested according to my own personality, I had answered questions according to what my husband would say, even though he didn’t talk to me while I tested.  We weren’t alike at all, we weren’t motivated by the same things. One of my sisters-in-law was irritated with me because she tried to understand me as a blue, yet I didn’t act according to any of the traits.  It is an obvious white trait—taking on the personality of the people around you—I just didn’t realize it at the time!

I decided I needed to take the test again. This time, I thought more deeply about my childhood…I remembered being playful, mischievous, self-centered. I tested yellow this time! Oh, I liked that result…the fun-motivated life-of-the-party! Sure, that’s me, isn’t it??  Sadly, no, it isn’t.  Again, I dove head-first into studying  yellow characteristics, and I found, without a doubt, that I may have yellow tendencies and I may love attention on occasion, but I am definitely not innately motivated by fun and adventure. Oh my word, I was frustrated! Who was I, anyway?

I finally took the test and talked with my family—my sister and my father—about who I was as a child.  Apparently, I was quiet, I loved to be alone and would escape to secret hiding places in the house, I wanted everything to be peaceful and harmonious. If I was upset with my parents, I would hide in my room and write them notes, explaining my feelings. My memories of mischief or playfulness depended solely on the people I was with at that moment, friends I hung out with…they were situations where I was a chameleon and blended in with the surroundings.  When I took the test this time, I could answer honestly and accurately, and as expected, the result was white. Very white. Not a surprise to anyone who knows about The Color Code, and not a surprise to my family.

I was a little bit upset that this was my personality…boring? Not me! Until I thought about my interests…reading, listening to music, loving my alone time.  I thought about the fact that I tend to be “invisible” in a large crowd, that people tend to overlook my opinion. I’m passive. I don’t like to take risks. I hate making decisions. Ah, yes. I began to understand who I was and find strengths in my personality—my ability to maintain peace, to mediate, to be content.  Even my invisibility can work to my advantage at times.  This new understanding of myself opened up a world of possibilities for me. Once I had accepted myself and my limitations, I was able to work through them. I was able to focus on my strengths as a “peacekeeper” and decide how to become a better wife, mother, friend, and teacher based on those strengths. I am able to identify with my secondary colors—blue and yellow were very close, within a point or two—and look at those aspects of my personality, too. I am well aware that my blue and yellow scores are so close because I do, in fact, blend with my environment. I do enjoy intimacy, I do enjoy having fun with my friends and attending big events where there are large groups of people, shopping and spending money irresponsibly. Haha! These are a part of who I am, as well, but I now have a better understanding of my actual inner motivation…and I can finally say, I like my “white” self! I really, truly do!! As much as I may frustrate my husband with my indecisiveness at times, or struggle with communicating my feelings verbally, The Color Code has helped me to find myself, to celebrate my strengths and to recognize when I need to look at my limitations and adjust my thinking.  I like that I can function in different relationships now, simply by understanding the motivation of others; when I see that someone’s motivation and personality traits are different than my own, I’ve learned not to feel offended or disrespected. I know that it’s just a matter of speaking a different relational language, meeting other people’s needs and helping them to understand what I need, as well.

I have been especially delighted with the effect it’s had on my marriage. My husband and I have reached an understanding of each other that is monumental.  We can literally step away from a disagreement and make a conscious decision to look at things from the perspective of a different personality: As a blue, my husband needs me to understand him, to listen and validate his opinions. As a white, I need peace, I can’t function in chaos, and I need time to process my feelings. It has been amazingly helpful being able to meet each other in neutral territory where we can work through issues with success.

We have also been able to use The Color Code in our parenting.  Although we have not given our children the specific test, we can more easily connect with each of them by understanding that their motivations are completely different.  I can get my yellow son to clean his room by turning it into a game, my blue child by working side by side with him and praising him, and my white son will clean if we give him time and space to get the job done.  If we hadn’t been introduced to The Color Code, I think there would have been a huge amount of frustration in raising such different personalities; I think this is why many parents say to a child, “Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?”  Without an understanding of personality, parents may assume their children should act exactly the same way or be driven by the same things.

As a teacher, you can imagine how helpful The Color Code has been in identifying my students’ motivation; classroom reward/discipline is much more effective when I have a handle on a child’s personality and what makes him or her ‘tick’. To each of them, there is value is something specific, a reason for behaving a certain way, a factor that will motivate them as citizens and learners.  I once had a student with a vibrant red personality—in regards to discipline, taking power from him or calling him out on his behavior in front of others was disastrous; talking to him privately, giving him responsibilities, and even allowing him to share knowledge and information with his classmates (he loved information!!) encouraged him and set him on a path towards success.  Prior to reading The Color Code, the situation may have resulted in nothing less than a year-long power-struggle between teacher and student.

I am eagerly continuing this journey, looking to further explore my personality and those of my husband and my children. I am a firm believer in The Color Code and I am grateful for the opportunity I’ve been given to create more meaningful relationships in my life!



PamMatherPam Mather (core color: white) has worked as an elementary teacher for 11 years.  Her teaching techniques and accomplishments have been featured on Studio Statesboro, an online news program. Her published article, “The A Word”, dedicated to parents with autistic children, can be found in the Connect Statesboro archives online. She is currently writing a blog called “The Recycled Teenager”, devoted to parents and educators.  She lives in southeast Georgia with her husband and 4 children.

 

 

 

From the editor: At Large is a new category for our monthly newsletter. We keep hearing wonderful stories from those of you who have chosen to use Color Code to help you in your life. We are thrilled to share these stories with our readers.  If you would like to share your Color Code story please send 500-800 words, your photo and bio to teresa.glenn@colorcode.com.

Incongruent Behaviors in the Workplace

Every workplace has its issues, and why not? We go to work each day and spend more time with our coworkers than we do with our spouses. And 43 percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years! And we choose our spouses. It stands to reason then, that there will be times of friction in the workplace. According to HR.BLR.com, Accountemps conducted a survey of 150 executives that found nearly a fifth of managers’ time is spent sorting out personality conflicts among staff members. That is a lot of time and money spent refereeing rather than on the job for which you were hired.

To help avoid conflict, we decided to practice what we preach. My team got together and each person identified “limitations” that might hinder harmony within our group. We all shared our upgrade report that identifies both the strengths and limitations we possess in each color, based on our answers we provided when we took the Color Code test. Then we each chose limitations from our lists that could potentially cause conflict within our group, and each team member set the goal to work on eliminating the limitation from our personalities.

On the door of my office, I have posted the three limitations that were chosen for me. My driving core motive (DCM) is Power and I have a long list of limitations in the Red category but, interestingly enough, the limitations chosen for me were from the Blue and White categories. They are: silently stubborn, judgemental, and unrealistic expectations. This really illustrates how others are more accepting of limitations from your DCM, and are confused by and unaccepting of the incongruity of displaying limitations from another. Now—among the long list of Red limitations I mentioned above are: overly aggressive, always right, relentless, bossy…well you get the picture. I would have thought that any one of these would have merited a vote, but my team accepts these as Red behaviors.

What they don’t expect from me, and therefore are confused by, the White behavior of silent stubborness, or the Blue behaviors of unrealistic expectations and being judgemental.

There  is often a gap between how we see ourselves and how others see us. We look in the mirror and see the person we think others see. However, there is often a disconnect between our reality and that of others around us.

One of the best sources to bridge the gap of perception to reality is receive feedback from those around you. The path to becoming congruent is a process of self-assessment. You can’t become congruent if you don’t see the ways in which you are incongruent. The lack of congruency sends ineffective and mixed messages illustrated in this example:

The Red boss furiously storms into an employee’s office and berates him because something has not been done right. After he’s done, he walks out of the office and thinks, “Oh, my gosh… how would I have felt if someone had done that to me?” Contrite, he goes back into the office, apologizes, and offers to take the employee to lunch. The employee is confused by the mixed message. He doesn’t know quite where this person is really coming from or what to expect next.

Learning that my team was confused and affected by my incongruent behavior was an eye opener, and like them my goal is to overcome the limitations they have identified. However, that’s not to say I shouldn’t work on my Red limitations as well. I have my work cut out for me! Baby steps. CC

 

Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.

 

 

 

Ask the Expert

Dear Jeremy,

If certain countries exhibit a particular color more than others, (e.g. Australia being yellow, or Japan being red) it seems that certain states or regions might as well.  I think of the Northeast being more red, the Southeast being more yellow, the Midwest being more blue and or white, and I am not sure what the west coast would be characterized as.  It tends to be a blend of everything. Thoughts? 

Warm Regards, 

Scott D. McKeon

 _________________________________________________


Dear Scott,

You are absolutely right in thinking that certain states, regions, or even cities… or even more interestingly–organizations and teams have their own “Color” as a group. It has more to do with culture than anything else, of course, and just because we might characterize Brazil as a Yellow country, I would suspect that the general population would hold more or less the same distribution of Reds, Blues, Whites, and Yellows as the U.S.The examples you mentioned are very good, and of course you would see a city like New York as more of a Red city, or New Orleans more of a White city (“The Big Easy”, right?). You can also see how cultures change over time if you think about it. Southern California back around the 1950’s had more of a Yellow culture. It was all about surf, sun, and fun. Now, I think that most would agree that it has more of a Red culture because it has become much more competitive, and areas within it (think Beverly HIlls, Malibu, etc.) have more of a status appeal to them.One of the reasons, I believe, that the United States has lost some of its international popularity is that others believe we have shifted into acting like more of a Red country. Traditionally, the US has had a solid Blue orientation. In fact, if you look at the principles upon which this country is founded, you would see a very Blue culture. I think most Americans still feel connected with those Blue principles.

Outside of the US, however, I believe our international image is extremely Red. People view us as power-hungry and overly-aggressive.

The same kinds of things happen inside of organizations. The Walt Disney Company has experienced a similar shift. Under Walt’s leadership, it was a very Blue company. Think of the whole concept of Disney Magic–the imagination and extreme attention to detail and aesthetics. That was Walt’s vision. Back in the 1990’s and in particular under the leadership of Michael Eisner, Disney became much more of a Red company and a big player in the business world.

The implications of those kinds of shifts are varied and always bring with them different dynamics and consequently communicate mixed messages to the general public. Sometimes those shifts are needed but not necessarily accepted. Sometimes they are forced and end up creating more problems.

It is simply… fascinating!

Part of what we do when we work with teams is to teach them about how these interpersonal and cultural dynamics will impact both their short- and long-term success. Having that awareness helps people build better organizations and teams.

Thanks so much for taking the time to ask, Scott. I hope that my response is helpful to you.

Very best of living,

Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International

 

Jeremy Daniel (Core Color: Yellow) has been working with the Color Code since 1998 in various capacities from training in the field personally with Dr. Taylor Hartman to designing customized corporate solutions and new training programs for various industries.  To ask about Jeremy’s training or speaking services, please email and inquiry to jeremy@colorcodetraining