The first Valentine’s Day I spent with my husband (then boyfriend) was filled with grand gestures. He wouldn’t tell me what he was planning for the big day, but my best friend, who he’d sworn to secrecy, assured me that I would feel like a contestant on The Bachelorette. 

At the time, I was doing an internship for a news outlet in Salt Lake City, and my boyfriend lived an hour and a half away, where he was going to college. We spent every weekday texting and talking on the phone constantly and every weekend together. 

When I walked into work on Friday, February 15, 2013, (we had to wait for the weekend to celebrate V-Day) I was under the impression that I’d be working my typical 8-5 shift and going on a date with my boyfriend that night. He had other plans.

About an hour or so into my day, my boss sent me down to the lobby on a fake errand, and when I stepped out of the elevator, there was my boyfriend, arms full of roses, ready to whisk me away from work. My charismatic Yellow man had pre-approved it with my boss, whom he’d never met. 

He then drove me to a small airport, where he’d arranged for an old neighbor to fly us over our home state in his helicopter. You know, no big deal. The rest of the day was filled with delicious food, fun activities, gifts, a movie and to end it all, stargazing up in the mountains in the back of his dad’s truck. Needless to say, I married that guy the following December. 

We were about 7 weeks into marriage when the next Valentine’s Day approached. We were dirt poor, living on love and flavorless oatmeal. But we were still going to spring big for Valentine’s Day. After all, we had saved the Olive Garden gift card we’d been gifted for our wedding for nearly 2 whole months and were even going to go out to a movie. Trust me, going on a date like this was a big deal.

After a day full of college classes and work, we were so excited to ditch the oatmeal and go on a real date. Bring on the bottomless soup, breadsticks and salad! We’d eat ourselves silly so we wouldn’t have to eat for a week. 

We lived in Rexburg, Idaho at the time, so the nearest Olive Garden was 30 minutes away. Did we think to get a reservation? Of course not! We were barely adults. When we got there, we learned the wait was long enough that we would miss our movie (we luckily hadn’t paid for it yet). 

The weight of this realization felt devastating to newlywed, penny-pinching me. When you’ve lived off of oatmeal, pb&j’s and pasta for two months and you only let yourself sit in front of the small heat vent for a few minutes a day in your freezing Rexburg (literally nicknamed Iceberg)  apartment, you just want to feel like royalty for ONE NIGHT stuffing Olive Garden in your face and watching a terrible romantic drama in a heated movie theater instead of hunched around a small laptop on your bed.

The contrast from our previous Valentine’s Day was drastic, but the good news was that I had married the same thoughtful, romantic man who had wooed me with a helicopter ride. After listening to my little temper tantrum about only having time for dinner OR a movie rather than both, (seriously, first world problems, man) he took me in his arms and calmed me down. He told me it was completely up to me what we chose. He just wanted me to have a good night. And my stomach made the choice for both of us…Olive Garden. 

We ended up having an amazing dinner that quickly assuaged my hanger and enjoyed a simple, but really great night together. We later found out the movie we were going to see did terribly in the box office, and we never even ended up renting it later. Don’t ask me the name of it, because I genuinely do not remember.

But I do remember how loving my husband was toward me that night. How patient he was and how he still made me feel like royalty, even if the only queen I was was the Queen of Fettuccine. 

We’ve been married for over 8 years now and are approaching our 10th Valentine’s together. Not a single Valentine’s Day has been as grandiose as our first, but each year gets a little sweeter as our love for each other grows. Part of that is because we know each other and we speak each other’s language. I know that celebrating holidays is very important to my fun-loving Yellow husband, and he knows that the major Blue part of me loves feeling special and remembered.

For those of you who are celebrating Valentine’s Day as married couples, I wanted to give a few ideas for each personality color so you can keep the spark and the love alive in your marriage. 

For the Blues: 

For those who are married to Blues on Valentine’s Day, the pressure’s on you! 😉 Of all the colors, Blues are going to appreciate romance the most. Lucky for you, we are here to help. First and foremost, Blues simply need you to recognize the holiday. Would they appreciate a grand romantic gesture? Yes. Would they love you to get creative? Of course. But if that’s something you’re really not good at or don’t feel comfortable with, just start small by acknowledging the holiday with flowers, chocolates and a date with quality conversation. Or some variation of those things. Let them know you love and appreciate them, and you’ll be golden. If you want to get romantic, a pro tip is to recreate your first date.

For the Reds:

Reds are practical. They may view Valentine’s Day as another commercial holiday that’s out to steal their money. However, dating your spouse is always healthy for a marriage, so take advantage of this holiday to plan a date that will really speak to your Red spouse. Something that will challenge them and make them feel like the best is a good place to start. An escape room, ax throwing or paintball may not sound romantic, but your Red is totally up for some healthy competition. 

For the Yellows:

Yellows may not always seem like it, but they can definitely be romantic. Of course, romance for them is going to involve something fun. If you’re the spouse of a Yellow, this is your time to shine. They will love it if you plan a creative and fun date, and they will enthusiastically appreciate your efforts. If you’re feeling stumped, think of something a 10-year-old would love, and odds are, your Yellow spouse will love it, too. Go ice skating, roller blading, dancing, or whatever it is that sounds fun to you two. If you’re feeling really crazy, plan a spontaneous vacation! Odds are, they’ll be down. 

For the Whites: 

Honestly, if you’re married to a White, you’ve got it pretty easy on Valentine’s Day. Of course, you’ll want to keep their secondary color in mind. If they are a White/Red, they might prefer a quiet night in without much fuss. If they’re a White/Blue, they’d still appreciate something sweet. If they’re a White/Yellow, they’ll love the excuse to do something fun, just the two of you. Just keep in mind their core motive of peace. They probably won’t want to fight the restaurant crowds on Valentine’s Day, but a nice dinner at home and a bubble bath could be just the ticket.

There you go! Hopefully you found these tips helpful. If you’ve had any successful Valentine’s dates you’d like to share, drop a comment below. And Happy Valentine’s Day!!

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Megan Christensen is a White personality who has loved writing for as long as she can remember. Megan graduated from BYU-Idaho in 2014 with a degree in communication. A lifelong fan of the Color Code, she’s thrilled to be the content editor of the blog and hopes to help as many people as possible become more self-aware. When she’s not writing, Megan can be found reading, doing yoga, and spending as much time as she can outdoors.