January 2022 – blog.colorcode.com

Book Review: Playing Life to Win by Taylor Hartman

As a Transformational & Intentional Creativity Life Coach, I am a fan of self-help books. Many are full of very insightful perspectives and insights that have shifted my thinking, and some have truly been a catalyst for significant healing in my life. And I’m not alone. It’s estimated that the self-help industry will reach $14 billion by 2025. Despite my being a fan of self-help books, there is one thing that gnaws at me about many of them. Many of them overlook that we’re not all the same. They give cookie-cutter solutions versus giving tools or recommendations based on understanding who we are as individuals (i.e., what’s good for the goose is NOT always good for the gander). One book that I feel breaks this pattern is Dr. Taylor Hartman’s Playing Life to Win – A Game Plan for Self-Development (a wonderful companion to the book The People Code: It’s All About Your Innate Motive). Playing Life to Win is a personal development workbook that leverages the game of baseball as a metaphor for the game of life. It’s an easy read and an outstanding tool for personal self-development.

4 reasons I like and recommend the book Playing Life to Win:

Its underlying theme is living life with greater intention. You can either be a spectator of the game, be a passive player of the game (I call this autopilot), or strategically play to win (I call it living intentionally).

For example: Joe (a Color Code Yellow motivated by fun) has intentions to get fit in 2022, but so far, his behavior continues to be unhealthy eating. He is a couch potato five out of the seven days of the week. He’s not living intentionally – or playing to win.

The strategies for playing the game of life are customized by you (the reader) with your Color Code Driving Core Motive in mind and includes chapter inquiries and exercises.

For example: Joe’s reason for not living intentionally probably has to do with him following a fitness program that doesn’t align with his Driving Core Motive of fun. When Joe realizes he is driven by fun, he can define physical activity that is fun and feeds his need for socialization. A Color Code White personality would prefer to workout alone and go at their own pace.

It’s a reminder that the game of life is not a solo proposition. The book asks, “Who is in your dug-out?” The translation: Are you surrounding yourself with people you trust and will provide candor on how you’re playing the game? I often share the Einstein quote, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” We all tend to approach life and our problems with the same thinking and behavior. Unfortunately, that certain way of thinking and behavior is often at the root of recurring problems. Until we change our thinking and behavior, we will continue to repeat it. Having trusted “tell it like it is” friends can give you direct observation of your thinking and behavior patterns that are getting in the way of you achieving the goals you have and ultimately living the life you want to live.

For Example: Joe has tried to lose weight several times and failed, but this time he has a buddy, Chris (a Color Code Blue personality) who has observed Joe’s fitness ups and downs and will give Joe grounded insights by being sensitive to Joe’s feelings (tough love).

The numerous wake-up calls — this book hits hard on truth and responsibility. Two phrases he uses that jumped out for me are, “How honestly you align with truth determines whether or not you’ll get to second base (Dr. Hartman calls second base, “Getting Over Yourself”). And, “You are the reason life does/does not work.”

For Example: Joe’s previous attempts at weight loss: he blamed the personal trainer and another time he just could not find the time needed to make a difference. Yes, he could have very well had a bad personal trainer, but that’s not the complete truth, is it? Joe used that as an excuse to stop working out. He gave up versus taking responsibility. He could have found another personal trainer or a different solution. Joe’s choices are the reason he’s not achieving his fitness and weight loss goals.

If you’ve already immersed yourself in The People Code and know your Driving Core Motive, strengths and limitations, wants and needs, and are looking to go deeper into your exploration of self-awareness, this book is perfect for you.

Remember, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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Kami Pollvogt is a Certified Color Code Trainer and Transformational Life Coach. She is the founder of Change by Design – a creative personal and professional development company that seeks to teach others how to design their life with a greater awareness of self, purpose, and intention. She frequently partners with coaches in the Phoenix metropolitan area to bring Color Code and Intentional Creativity® to personal and professional development workshops.

Personality Colors and Dealing with Change

Many organizations have restructured at some point in their history. Some do it regularly. Where I work, it was never done, which made this series of events I’m about to tell you about even more impactful. Our Color Code make up greatly affects how we deal with change. Let’s go back to February 2020. Do you remember what it was like back then? The world had not yet been flipped upside down by Covid. No lockdowns, no working from home, no constant state of change.

I was working in a team of eight people, with several contract employees and the rest seasoned training professionals. Our corporate director met with us about some changes that were coming soon. He passed out some PowerPoint slides of what our department looked like currently and what the prospective department would look like after….reorganization.

Did you read that word in a deep, evil voice? That’s the way I heard it when he said it. I looked at his slides showing the structure of our department now and the future structure. I noticed very quickly that my job was not listed on the new structure. I’m not sure I heard his next words, because there was a strange buzzing in my head. All I could think was, “You will not cry in front of these people!” I repeated it to myself over and over as he spoke. As a Blue, I knew I needed to shut off my emotions and think about the facts, be logical.

My White personality coworker said nothing in the meeting. He said nothing after the meeting. He retired early before he could be let go.

The strong Blues in the group (we had several) took it different ways. One freaked out. It was all she could talk about. “What’s going to happen?” “What are we going to do?” “Have you heard anything new?” “This is horrible!” She couldn’t sleep. Her work performance suffered. She thought it was horrible that she had a place in the new department and I didn’t. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. She thought she didn’t deserve to be there if I didn’t. She ultimately found a new job before any of the reorganization happened. Did she do that to free up a spot for me?

Our other Blue pulled inward and concentrated on the routines and the things she could count on, her daily tasks. She didn’t engage in the water cooler rumor mill. She assumed everything was going along as planned and nothing else needed to be mentioned. She had a spot on the new org chart.

My secondary Red took over very quickly. I wasn’t going down without some further discussion. I met privately with the director. I asked how I could fit in somewhere else. Were there any other opportunities for me? Turned out that, yes, there were. It was in the works, but he couldn’t talk about it right now, so I had to trust in him and wait. That was nice, but I started thinking of every possible scenario I could. I could get a different job. I applied for five jobs within the company that year. I could do independent consulting and training. I could do something completely different! Maybe this was the push I needed to try something new?

My manager, who was a strong White, did nothing. She had no place on the new org chart and just kept saying, “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but something will come along.” She didn’t think of other scenarios. She didn’t update her resume. She continued on like nothing was changing. She was ultimately let go.

Our Yellow team member tried to lighten our moods. She said things like, “Come on! It’ll never happen. It’s all talk. We are a great department. They don’t want to ruin that!” She didn’t have a spot on the new organizational chart either. She said, “Looks like I need to update my resume!” with a laugh and a smile. “I’m going to want to practice some interview questions.” She had sympathy for us Blues, but she pivoted effortlessly.

Ultimately, our department was split, with only the manager losing her job. It left us all a little scarred, though. My loyalty was rewarded with a new opportunity working in Organizational Development. My Yellow co-worker slid into a new spot as well.

Each color personality has a go-to way of dealing with change. We may need to challenge ourselves or others to stretch outside of our normal thought processes.

Red personalities will usually be the first to adopt change as their focus is always the future. Reds, don’t expect everyone to be where you are. Communicate ideas in small, digestible chunks with time in between for others to process and adopt.

Blue personalities hate when their comfortable routine is upset. Try to see that there is a possibility of a new and improved routine after this crazy time of change.

White personalities can use their creative minds to think of possible scenarios and mentally prepare themselves. Take baby steps. It’s ok to ignore the change for a short time, but do not stay stuck there. The change will happen, whether you are ready or not.

Yellow personalities: remember that humor can seem shallow and disrespectful to other color personalities. Use it sparingly. Draw on your collaboration talents to get those around you talking.

Communication is key. Sometimes it is venting, sometimes productive brainstorming. Talking to others helps alleviate any worries or assumptions that you create individually. Each of the colors needs to communicate to be able to process the change in a positive way that moves everyone forward.

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Mary Frances Mika is a Blue who has been facilitating Color Code classes for years. She has a degree in Psychology and has PHR, SHRM-CP, and CPTD certifications. When she’s not training, Mary Frances connects with her White secondary self by gardening, bird watching, and reading. She loves to see the impact the Color Code has on her participants.

How to Help Teens Find Motivation

Is having motivation important for success? I am of the opinion that finding motivation when it is lacking is essential for success in all areas of life. In this article, I’ll share my number one tip for teens finding motivation by using their DCM (Driving Core Motive), and how I used it with my son and his experience playing on the varsity basketball team.

As a teen life coach, I work with young and impressionable minds, and many of them lack motivation. When a parent calls or reaches out to me on social media about their teenager lacking motivation, I immediately send them to a Color Code personality assessment. Lacking motivation is usually not the cause of the problem, but a symptom of a lack of clarity, and the Color Code helps to clarify.

Dr. Hartman’s Color Code assessment is designed to provide self-awareness in four primary colors: Red, Blue, Yellow, and White. Providing self-awareness leads to understanding, which resolves many problems by allowing the teen to change their behavior. This is the tool I utilize to uncover a teen’s Driving Core Motive. In a Red personality, the Driving Core Motive is “power.” Having power is what motivates them to get out of bed in the morning. Reds are the people who love leadership, making extra money through a side hustle, becoming Student Body President, etc. Yellow personalities are motivated by fun. Whites are motivated by peace, and Blues are motivated by intimacy (meaning personal relationships with others). Once I explain to the teen their DCM and how everyone has a personality color and is born with it, I can immediately see light bulbs begin going off in their minds.

The Color Code then makes finding motivation easy. When you know and understand your DCM, and also what your personality limitations are, finding motivation breaks down to a simple question: “Would you like to add to your strengths or develop an area of limitation?”

For example, suppose a teen I’m coaching is struggling with making friends, and his Color Code personality type is Red. In that case, I can explain that his DCM may indicate outgoing behavior, making it easy to reach people, but that his Red limitations sometimes inhibit connecting with others, because he might be perceived as arrogant, aggressive, and a know-it-all.

Once he understands that, we can dive into the Color Code assessment’s 40-page report detailing personality needs, wants, plus a ton more useful personal insights that are incredibly beneficial for anyone’s personal growth.

So what is the DCM? A person’s DCM is specific to their natural/innate strengths and limitations, not what they learn from the environment or programming. Of course, our environment can play a role in our behavior, but our DCM is born with us and makes us the unique and unforgettable individuals we are.

Here is a quick story to clarify and showcase the impact of knowing your primary personality color on your motivation and life.

My son is a Blue personality type and is very hard on himself. He usually feels that other teens and athletes are better than he is. This isn’t true, but it’s how he sees the world. After completing his assessment, we reviewed his personalized report and debriefed and uncovered some of his limitations. Armed with this information, we began shifting his belief about himself as an athlete and focusing on his team-player strengths.

One strength for Blues is that they value relationships. My son stopped focusing on his lack of playing time and started honing in on the connections and relationships he had built with his teammates. Blue personality types are intimacy-driven, and my son thrives on connecting and developing quality friendships.

He now enjoys every experience he has participated in and knows his value to the team.

He then began to get more motivated to practice harder. He pushed his teammates more and became present to help them out and support them, and his coaches noticed this shift in his attitude.

Fast-forward to my son’s senior year. He is now on one of the best teams in the state. He loves the team and the experience and has a new and positive look on his high school basketball career.

My son didn’t lack the motivation to be the best player, but he didn’t know what stimulus would create his motivation to work harder and push himself. Understanding his DCM helped him uncover his motivation.

Teens are experiencing tremendous pressure today, and having a resource that can assist them through the craziness is very beneficial.

Once a teenager has completed the assessment and reviewed the personalized report, I use the following strategy:

The 90/10 Rule:

Invest 90% on your strengths; 10% on your limitations.

For example, my son doesn’t like lifting weights, but weight training helps with his sport. So understanding the 90/10 rule, my son invests 10% of his improvement time toward weight training and 90% toward developing his game in the areas of his strengths. Motivating him is then easy, because I don’t ask him to spend much time on his limitations. I point him in the direction of his strengths.

The way you shift from being unmotivated is you find strengths or areas that you see are easy for you and invest 90% of your time on that.

Some expert coaches promote working on your weaknesses, but I don’t agree. If we are forced to spend too much time doing something we don’t like and not using our DCM, it is easy to get unmotivated and bored.

The 90/10 rule works for my clients, and I know it will help you develop motivation and focus because you no longer will be wasting time in areas that don’t feed your DCM.

I hope this article has provided you with some newfound insights and a resource to help you become motivated and more self-aware.

Famous tennis player Billie Jean King said, “I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion.”

Self-awareness is one of the most valuable traits a person can develop to become confident and motivated.

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Rahz “The Motivator” Slaughter is a motivational speaker who has spent years helping children and teens improve their mindsets and take charge of their lives. Born with a disability and raised by a single mother who suffered from addiction, Rahz has been labeled countless times and told that he had limitations and that there would be things that he could not do, be, or achieve. Despite these messages, Rahz was born with a growth mindset and set out to create a life of his doing and not what others expected of him. Today, Rahz Slaughter is a motivational speaker, 3X author, and successful business owner. He is also an athlete, personal trainer, nutritionist, and teen life coach. As a Color Code Interpersonal Skills Trainer and NLP practitioner, Rahz has tools to help people overcome their limits and reach their full potential. Learn more about Rahz at http://www.RahzSlaughter.com.

Maintaining Personal Peace in a Turbulent World

I saw a meme the other day that made me laugh and also rang pretty true. It said, “Nobody claim 2022 as ‘your year.’ We’re all going to walk in real slow. Be good. Be quiet. Be cautious and respectful. Don’t touch anything.” Doesn’t that just sound like wisdom from a White personality? It’s safe to say the pandemic has been a nightmare for all of us in one way or another. The Blues desperately missed building deep, in-person connections with loved ones. Yellows missed all the parties and sociability. Reds, who were used to living in a fast-paced world, had to learn how to slow down a little. For the Whites, one of the nightmares of the pandemic is still in full force: Divisiveness.

If we learned anything from the pandemic, it’s that people have opinions. A lot of them. Should we get vaccinated? Should there be a mask mandate? Should President Trump be impeached? Should I stock up on toilet paper? And on. And on. And on. For a personality who is primarily motivated by peace, getting caught up in controversial conversations is a nightmare. And Whites, who have the gift of clarity and seeing both sides of an issue, may find themselves struggling to form an opinion that is black-or-white. They could be in a conversation with an anti-vaxxer, nodding their head and appreciating their points and perspective, then an hour later hear themselves agreeing with somebody about the importance of vaccines for everyone. It’s not that they are puppets on a string, it’s that they’re really good at hearing people out and empathizing and they just want everyone to get along.

If you’re a White, you may have some trepidation about this new year and the unsteadiness it could bring. But I’m here to put your heart at ease. Even if you can’t control having peace on earth, you can have some say over your personal peace. If that’s something you are seeking, keep reading to learn three ways you can develop personal peace over the coming year (whether you’re a White personality or not).

1. Carve out time each day for a “peace hour.”

You might have heard of people who engage in a daily “power hour.” They devote one hour to productivity or activities that will set them up for a great day. But what if we engaged in a peace hour? Think about what brings you peace. Maybe it is being productive and getting things done. Perhaps it’s exercising or reading or a spiritual ritual. Maybe it’s a long bath, organizing your closet, or playing the piano. Whatever it is, make time for it every day. Set your alarm to get up before your kids if that’s what it takes and what feels peaceful to you. Or spend your last hour before bed winding down in this way. If you spend time peacefully each day – in a way that feels personally healing for you – it will build an inner strength that will lend itself to spreading peace to others.

2. Breathe Work

“Meditation” is such a buzzword right now, and even though its idea sounds nice, it can be hard to remember to do and to implement. Just the other day, my friend told me her brain was way too noisy to be able to turn off and meditate. Spoiler alert: All of our brains are too noisy to turn off. Meditation isn’t necessarily about turning off our brains – that would basically mean we were dead. It’s about focusing on our breath and directing our thoughts back to it when they inevitably wander. Suppose you don’t feel like you can immediately dive into a meditation practice filled with correct posture, humming the sound “aum” or focusing on your breath for a certain amount of time. In that case, I’m here to teach you a few simple breathing practices that can help you calm down within minutes.

-Complete Breath: While sitting up straight or lying down, begin to fill your chest completely up with air. When you feel like there’s no more room for air, send the air into your stomach, creating a “Buddha belly.” Hold your breath for one second before releasing everything, starting with the air in your stomach and ending with the air in your chest. Repeat as many times as needed.

– Ujjayi Breath: Beginners to this type of breathing may find it helpful to touch the tip of their tongue to the roof of their mouth. Once you’ve done this, take a deep breath in, breathing in and out through the back of your throat as if you are fogging up a mirror. Go ahead and make some noise with this breath. The louder, the better.

-Alternating Nostril Breath: Using your dominant hand, utilize the pinky finger and the thumb to take turns plugging each nostril. When one side is plugged, take a deep breath in the other side. Hold the breath for a second, release and switch the plugged nostril and breathe out the other side. Breathe in on the same side you just exhaled, then switch and repeat.

3. Hold a Burn Ceremony

You are in for a treat if you’ve never participated in a burn ceremony before. What could be more satisfying for a White than to literally burn things that don’t bring them peace? Ok, so maybe you’re not going to burn actual objects, but rather unpeaceable concepts. Here’s what you do: Take a piece of paper and draw a line halfway down. On the top half of the paper, write down the things that make you feel stressed or sad, or unsettled. On the bottom half, write down all the things that make you happy. Then, tear it in half when you’ve filled the paper, keeping the positive half and throwing the negative part into the fire. Watch it burn, baby! And as it burns, express inner gratitude for all the peaceful things you’ve kept.

After trying these three simple ideas, we hope you are in for a very peaceful and happy new year! What practices do you currently do to bring peace into your life? Let us know in the comments below.

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Megan Christensen is a White personality who has loved writing for as long as she can remember. Megan graduated from BYU-Idaho in 2014 with a degree in communication. A lifelong fan of the Color Code, she’s thrilled to be the content editor of the blog and hopes to help as many people as possible become more self-aware. When she’s not writing, Megan can be found reading, doing yoga, and spending as much time as she can outdoors.