Weekly Tools and Tips to Improve Any Relationship
I saw a meme the other day that made me laugh and also rang pretty true. It said, “Nobody claim 2022 as ‘your year.’ We’re all going to walk in real slow. Be good. Be quiet. Be cautious and respectful. Don’t touch anything.” Doesn’t that just sound like wisdom from a White personality? It’s safe to say the pandemic has been a nightmare for all of us in one way or another. The Blues desperately missed building deep, in-person connections with loved ones. Yellows missed all the parties and sociability. Reds, who were used to living in a fast-paced world, had to learn how to slow down a little. For the Whites, one of the nightmares of the pandemic is still in full force: Divisiveness.
If we learned anything from the pandemic, it’s that people have opinions. A lot of them. Should we get vaccinated? Should there be a mask mandate? Should President Trump be impeached? Should I stock up on toilet paper? And on. And on. And on. For a personality who is primarily motivated by peace, getting caught up in controversial conversations is a nightmare. And Whites, who have the gift of clarity and seeing both sides of an issue, may find themselves struggling to form an opinion that is black-or-white. They could be in a conversation with an anti-vaxxer, nodding their head and appreciating their points and perspective, then an hour later hear themselves agreeing with somebody about the importance of vaccines for everyone. It’s not that they are puppets on a string, it’s that they’re really good at hearing people out and empathizing and they just want everyone to get along.
If you’re a White, you may have some trepidation about this new year and the unsteadiness it could bring. But I’m here to put your heart at ease. Even if you can’t control having peace on earth, you can have some say over your personal peace. If that’s something you are seeking, keep reading to learn three ways you can develop personal peace over the coming year (whether you’re a White personality or not).
You might have heard of people who engage in a daily “power hour.” They devote one hour to productivity or activities that will set them up for a great day. But what if we engaged in a peace hour? Think about what brings you peace. Maybe it is being productive and getting things done. Perhaps it’s exercising or reading or a spiritual ritual. Maybe it’s a long bath, organizing your closet, or playing the piano. Whatever it is, make time for it every day. Set your alarm to get up before your kids if that’s what it takes and what feels peaceful to you. Or spend your last hour before bed winding down in this way. If you spend time peacefully each day – in a way that feels personally healing for you – it will build an inner strength that will lend itself to spreading peace to others.
“Meditation” is such a buzzword right now, and even though its idea sounds nice, it can be hard to remember to do and to implement. Just the other day, my friend told me her brain was way too noisy to be able to turn off and meditate. Spoiler alert: All of our brains are too noisy to turn off. Meditation isn’t necessarily about turning off our brains – that would basically mean we were dead. It’s about focusing on our breath and directing our thoughts back to it when they inevitably wander. Suppose you don’t feel like you can immediately dive into a meditation practice filled with correct posture, humming the sound “aum” or focusing on your breath for a certain amount of time. In that case, I’m here to teach you a few simple breathing practices that can help you calm down within minutes.
-Complete Breath: While sitting up straight or lying down, begin to fill your chest completely up with air. When you feel like there’s no more room for air, send the air into your stomach, creating a “Buddha belly.” Hold your breath for one second before releasing everything, starting with the air in your stomach and ending with the air in your chest. Repeat as many times as needed.
– Ujjayi Breath: Beginners to this type of breathing may find it helpful to touch the tip of their tongue to the roof of their mouth. Once you’ve done this, take a deep breath in, breathing in and out through the back of your throat as if you are fogging up a mirror. Go ahead and make some noise with this breath. The louder, the better.
-Alternating Nostril Breath: Using your dominant hand, utilize the pinky finger and the thumb to take turns plugging each nostril. When one side is plugged, take a deep breath in the other side. Hold the breath for a second, release and switch the plugged nostril and breathe out the other side. Breathe in on the same side you just exhaled, then switch and repeat.
You are in for a treat if you’ve never participated in a burn ceremony before. What could be more satisfying for a White than to literally burn things that don’t bring them peace? Ok, so maybe you’re not going to burn actual objects, but rather unpeaceable concepts. Here’s what you do: Take a piece of paper and draw a line halfway down. On the top half of the paper, write down the things that make you feel stressed or sad, or unsettled. On the bottom half, write down all the things that make you happy. Then, tear it in half when you’ve filled the paper, keeping the positive half and throwing the negative part into the fire. Watch it burn, baby! And as it burns, express inner gratitude for all the peaceful things you’ve kept.
After trying these three simple ideas, we hope you are in for a very peaceful and happy new year! What practices do you currently do to bring peace into your life? Let us know in the comments below.
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Megan Christensen is a White personality who has loved writing for as long as she can remember. Megan graduated from BYU-Idaho in 2014 with a degree in communication. A lifelong fan of the Color Code, she’s thrilled to be the content editor of the blog and hopes to help as many people as possible become more self-aware. When she’s not writing, Megan can be found reading, doing yoga, and spending as much time as she can outdoors.
