Weekly Tools and Tips to Improve Any Relationship
Do you know what happens to your quality of life if you decide to live by happenstance rather than choosing to live your life by design? Happenstance takes no effort, and it’s a sure bet that you’re setting the bar of life extremely low. This occurs whenever someone decides they will just see what happens to their quality of life providing no sense of planning, life strategy or vision.
Happenstance can further be the evidence of selecting to just go along with the crew at chow time and eat from the plate of life from whatever is served up and whatever the rest of the crew is eating.
Living life by design is simple…not easy! In order to pull off the quest of living life by design, you must strike a clear vision for how, where and when you will start this journey. You must be willing to remain in a state of constant improvement. You truly must be filled with desire…YOU GOTTA WANNA!
Let’s see if you can relate to this not-so-unique story. I recognized that my favorite older sister was born with very high intelligence, an organic and attractive sense of playful interaction and carefree lifestyle of living in the moment. She has an extra kind and contagious big heart. She is spontaneous and extremely easy to be around, and she leaves everyone that she meets feeling better after interacting with her.
Yes, you already guessed by now that I’m talking about a sister who has nearly 50 percent of core Yellow cascading through her character.
While she is one of the most charismatic characters you may ever meet, she is faced with refusing to allow personal or professional growth to have a place in her life. She prefers to live her life by happenstance.
The limitations from her Yellow core and Blue secondary show up very consistently in her life. Adding to being disorganized, forgetful and possessing poor follow-through, she is also guilt-prone, self-critical and allows poor self esteem to fuel it all. The evidence of choosing to not live her life by design is proof that she doesn’t want to negotiate for a better life. If you hunger for a better life…YOU GOTTA WANNA!
I have spent the last 51 years seeking to help my sister grow and evolve while doing my best to help her build a better quality of life. After this significant investment of time, I have come to accept that it is none of my business to want more for my sister than she wants for herself… YOU GOTTA WANNA!
Since she has chosen to live her life by happenstance, she must face the dark and unhealthy side effects from making her resigned life choices. I don’t own the rights to her happiness. Making choices like seeking to improve your lifestyle and advancing in growing yourself along this journey called life is personal, and the weight of your life journey lies in the hands of the beholder. Everyone gets to choose or choose not to WANNA choose.
Rather than wading in a cesspool of muck and uncertainty from an unhealthy and dysfunctional perspective, my sister could choose to WANNA and start from the ground up, seeking to advance her character in a path toward becoming healthy and charactered. As you know, she would have to choose to get rid of her earlier mentioned limitations and showcase her innate strengths, while adopting strengths outside of her Yellow core.
This would be an amazing life choice that could help her raise her ‘deserve level’ and fuel her purpose, leading to a much higher quality of life. Who do you know that stumbles through life with a low deserve level in an unhealthy and dysfunctional manner?
If you are a core Red, Blue or White and wondering what you may need to do in order to raise your GOTTA WANNA campaign, read the helpful recommendations below that have been drawn from real life coaching case studies.
One man — we’ll call him Henry — is a core Red and has a very hard time wanting to show up in his important relationships thinking about anyone other than himself. He lives from more than a few non-attractive Red limitations; he is selfish, arrogant and tactless.
Henry has struggled through five failed marriages while managing three dysfunctional teenage children who are rejecting their father’s heavy-fisted style of parenting. The best way for Henry to start developing a caring and pleasing personality would be to embrace self-awareness and understand how his personality and character are having a negative impact on his important relationships.
He must choose to make an effort to do the work on removing the negative behavior, while showcasing native and learned positive character strengths of the Red, Blue, Yellow and White. This would put Henry in the right position to start becoming charactered, offering him an increased awareness of life’s possibilities.
While Henry’s story offers excellent possibilities following the choice of self-awareness, another very different client case study presented new learning opportunities. After serving Marta for more than ten years as her life coach, it was clear that her White limitations of being silently stubborn and detached were making it difficult for her staff of fifteen marketing executives to feel valued or heard by her. It wasn’t until she chose to WANNA remove these limitations that her career began to shine. Marta is now the Vice President of Marketing for a multimillion-dollar company. She chose to WANNA.
After engaging with Amber during our Color Code Master Class, we discovered that being a core Blue purist (at 78 percent Blue on the Color Code assessment) was why she had a very difficult time allowing other team members participating in breakout sessions to get a word in edgewise!
Following our Color Code Master Class, she asked us what she could do to improve, and we encouraged her to remove her Blue limitations of being suspicious, hard to please, jealous and moody. Our final suggestion for helping Amber bring more balance and connection to her relationships was to ask her to learn and adopt some of the strengths from other colors, such as being a good listener. Let’s just say that Amber is a work in progress.
Perhaps it could come down to respecting just one basic foundational belief system… CHOICE…It’s your choice…YOU GOTTA WANNA!
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Jesse Ferrell is an International Speaker and Master Success Coach for JessTalk Speaking & Coaching Firm. He attended the University of Nevada at Las Vegas on academic scholarships, where he earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree and a second Bachelor of Science Degree in Business & Hotel Administration. He worked in the hospitality industry for 36 years, ranging from a Busboy to Executive Director of Casino Marketing. He spent six years as a professor at UNLV. Jesse loves being a certified Color Code trainer and the value that it brings to his company and clients.
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A fine piece on the value of wanting to improve and helping with improvement. Also the notable point on how it is imperative not to come across like we own others lives by the way we approach training or coaching.