Hello!

Party of six, party of six, yes, six!

Who are these people? We live together, but who are we? We are a multigenerational, grand family household.

Here is the cast by generation, gender, and personality color:

Boomer Husband — Red

Boomer Wife — Red, White, and Blue

Millennial Daughter — White

Gen Z Grandson — Yellow

Gen Z Granddaughter — Red and Blue

Gen Alpha Grandson — Red and Blue

As the boomer wife and home manager, I often wonder: Why can’t anyone hear me!?!

Why am I so exhausted from simple communication!?! Who. Are. These. People? What. Do. You. Want. From. Me?

Starting with Mr. Gen Alpha — the youngest kid — he is a Red and Blue who does not hear me because of his immersion in technology. It is his way of life!

He is logical and emotional, and I must build on the logic of his arguments and ideas, promoting his creative efforts and ambitions, without demanding perfection, while avoiding being slow and indecisive. Oh! Gen Alpha is also impatient, which means I must hurry because he wants and needs it NOW!

My posture with this kid is to take a walk, have a conversation with myself, and take a deep breath before addressing the ask, want, or need. He is a conversationalist and will dissect everything that I say. A planned conversation is best with him. Taking time to plan the conversation results in a win-win for both of us. Planning the conversation also allows me to approach with sensitivity and ensure security in the exchange and the relationship.

Next is Ms. Gen Z — the middle kid. She is a Red and Blue and is concerned with academic performance and job prospects.

She is logical, emotional and is focused on being well-mannered and behaving appropriately.

Oh my goodness, I cannot raise my voice or use an authoritarian approach, embarrass her in front of others, or be slow and indecisive. Like her brother, she is impatient. I need to support her leadership instincts and correct decisions without pushing her into making quick decisions. An imperative is avoiding being rude or abrupt.

We take walks together to discuss whatever is at hand. I make sure that she feels heard and understood. She feels “some kind of way” about being a middle child with an older and younger brother. We often brainstorm and exchange ideas to reach middle ground. She gains confidence by contributing to the decision-making process. I’m relieved of the pressure of anticipating having to be demanding.

Now, Mr. Gen Z — the oldest kid. He’s a yellow who is challenged with staying focused and on task!

I want to say, “Can you please do a little planning up front so that you can get it right the first time?” Or, “Don’t let me give you too much rope to hang yourself with while I reinforce trust, offer praise, appreciation, and encourage self-expression while making sure that I’m not being too serious or sober when criticism is necessary and avoid pushing too intensely or demanding perfection.”

Our conversations center around exploring the bigger picture, making decisions, and taking actions that prepare him for success. Hugs are the key to reinforcing trust in our relationship.

Ms. Millennial/Gen Y — Second Generation — White — Me. Me. Me.

I routinely watch for landmines here as I can’t be too intense, overwhelm her with too much information, rush communication, or demand leadership. She has required practice of me reacting gently, hearing and listening quietly and carefully while internally, I’m thinking, “Can we get to the point already!?!” Oops, I forgot to show patience in a non-threatening way!

Taking and giving space is best for this relationship. We share ideas and go our separate ways to consider and then come back together to discuss. We repeat this process as much as needed. It is time consuming, but avoiding conflict is the goal.

I’m improving my life and my relationships by using the Color Code to better understand myself and my family. How I relate to each individual is a journey, and I’m blessed to have this opportunity.

I will leave you to wonder about the Boomer Husband!

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Deborah Bryson is a Certified Color Code Trainer, Life Coach, and Human Resources Professional. As a Life Coach, Deborah helps her clients step out of the shadows and fears of the past, take off their masks, embrace their own destiny, and truly connect to who they are. Deborah is a “Carolina Girl” with extended family in North and South Carolina. She “coaches” basketball, soccer, and baseball at “home” and is an avid fan of her “players” when they’re on the field or court.