Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
-Albert Einstein

When you opened your email every morning this week, how many contained stories and ads touting how with this person’s book, or this company’s equipment, you are guaranteed success for all your New Year’s Resolutions?

This article will tell you the opposite—not because we want you to fail, but because we feel you might be going about it all wrong.

Are Resolutions Made to Fail?

I’m going to quit smoking, and lose weight, and get in shape, and get back in touch with so and so, and…

According to the University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology only 8% of us is successful in achieving our resolutions. No wonder.

We heap on the goals, in quantities that are unmanageable. If you make a decision to change your habits before you are ready—only as a nod to New Years—you are doomed to failure, and your broken promise becomes yet another habit to be repeated next year.

For example: When a person quits smoking, they eat more to satisfy their oral fixation. If you are truly interested in quitting smoking, why compound the problem by adding a diet to the list?  How long did it take you to develop that smoking habit, or gain those extra pounds? Chances are they are habits that have been with you a long time. Why think that everything can change in a single day with a single declaration?

Reflection

Throw yourself a bone. Before setting your goals for the upcoming New Year, ask yourself what, in 2013, you learned about yourself that you are proud of. Following is a list a friend made:

Things I have learned in 2013:

• How to play Candy Crush Saga
• What Duck Dynasty is all about
• To walk away from people who aren’t good for me
• To make the best grilled cheese sandwich ever
• To make the best of whatever life brings me
• To stop buying stuff I don’t need or have room for
• That being alone is very satisfying
• I have the greatest family, friends and neighbors in the world
• To love myself
• To be grateful for everything, every person and every pet in my life
• To take one day at a time
• Life is short. Enjoy each day as if it was your last
• To be kinder to people…give more.
• Pray more

These are all positive, life affirming, learning experiences. Not only did she have fun learning a new game, but she also learned to dig deep and realize that she’s ok alone and loves herself. She is on a charactered path.

Setting Goals

Once you have made an honest assessment of your resolutions and improvements from last year, take the time to sit down and make some realistic goals for next year. Start with one goal at a time. Following is the top ten resolutions published in the University of Scranton, Journal of Clinical Psychology:

1. Lose weight
2. Get organized
3. Spend less, save more
4. Enjoy life to the fullest
5. Stay fit and healthy
6. Learn something new
7. Quit Smoking
8. Help others in their dreams
9. Fall in love
10. Spend more time and family

So, lets say you want to accomplish 1, 5, 7 and 9 (although, I’m not sure how you can “resolve” to fall in love, unless you’re a Red.)

First, set a priority that makes sense. If #7 is on your list…to quit smoking, you will likely gain a few pounds with the effort, so don’t start with item #1. On the other hand, exercising (#5) will help take your mind off your smoking addiction, and may help you with possible weight gain (#1). Approach your family and ask for their support and encouragement in your effort to quit. Invite them to join you at the gym (#5 and #10), while keeping focused on your number one goal to quit smoking.

Once you are able to check off your first goal, move on to the next. By that time, the rest should be easier.

Take advice from Albert Einstien and don’t go insane repeating the same resolution over and over.

The most important thing when trying to improve yourself, is to find out who you really are, and then strive to be the best you. All the other things will fall into place.

Happy New Year!