Ah…The joys, trials & tribulations of parenting a yellow. As a very strong blue, my 19-year-old very yellow daughter has been a source of frustration and joy in my life. So anyone who is a parent reading this may ask themselves…”So what’s new about that. Every child, regardless of their color and core motive, brings frustration and joy.” I agree but as a certified Color Code trainer, I know that Yellows are a special challenge for me. They don’t navigate the world the way a Blue thinks they should. Remember, Blues are moralistic and take things seriously. Yellows are sooooo not in to that — way too heavy! As a parent, it’s our job to help our child navigate through life, to tell them the difference between right and wrong, to give advice but a Yellow child receives that dose of reality as a total “downer” and it can have the reverse effect.

Do’s & Don’t to parenting a Yellow

Do embrace their zest for life:  As a strong blue, I secretly admire Ariana’s natural enthusiasm, her positive thinking and her carefree attitude.  As a glass half empty Blue, my natural instinct is to worry and think about what could go wrong. I have to work at letting go of worry and recognizing what I can’t control. This is already engrained in Ariana. She naturally embraces new experiences and loves to learn and be around people. She doesn’t worry herself over things that are out of her control. Like Blues, Yellows are emotion based so we have that in common. She experiences life through emotions – how is this making me feel?  Good, Great (even better!). Okay, I’ll stick around. How is this making me feel? – Bad – I’m out of here!  I’d recommend appealing to their emotions but keep it positive.

Don’t criticize or lecture:  Wow, that’s a tough one as a Blue parent. Your natural inclination is to “advise” your daughter. After all, you’ve lived longer than your child has and know a few things that could spare them some pain. If they would only listen and take your advice.  Yellows, however, see this as criticism or a lecture they must endure. Yellows do not have a long attention span. Give them tasks or chores in bite size pieces. Don’t overwhelm them with a laundry list of to-do’s. Yellows also do not have tolerance for a lecture that points out their faults. No one likes being lectured to but Yellows  have what I call “the flight response.” When Ariana was little and didn’t have the cognitive skill level yet to realize she could run out of a room if she didn’t like what I was saying, she would create a diversion by misbehaving.  It worked to change my focus. As she got in to her teen years, she’d yell and run out of the room screaming. Also very effective.  As with every child, you have to let them experience life and make their mistakes. This is imperative with Yellows though. They have to figure it out themselves. And they will. It’s just hard to watch as a parent.

Love them for who they are: They love themselves so join the party. It’s true. Every Yellow I know, has that innate self-esteem. They are okay with themselves and want you to love them too. C’mon…join in. You’ll have fun, the Yellow says. And you will. I spent 19 years trying to get Ariana to think like me. It’s not working. I approach things very seriously. She approaches them as something she either loves or hates. My worry is she’ll avoid the things she “hates” because her motivation is to have fun all the time. But so far, she hasn’t. She takes on chores and the mundane tasks of life – not necessarily the way I address them – but she gets them done. My ongoing challenge as a mother and a Blue, is to accept that and to trust she will do it. She may not live her life the way I would, but overall, she’ll succeed and have a great time doing it. I’m still a little jealous. CC

Megan Guido is the Director of Strategic Initiatives & Marketing at Pullman Regional Hospital. She is a certified Color Code trainer and consults on customer service, the power of generosity, organizational and external communications and marketing. Her email is megan.guido@pullmanregional.org.