The pandemic has been hard on everyone, and we have all coped in different ways. The Reds have worked through their list of home projects, even though it was challenging at times to get supplies. The Blues turn off the news to avoid the constant barrage of suffering. (As a Blue, I couldn’t listen to the numbers going up, the quarantine extensions, etc.)  For the White personalities, this was an opportunity to embrace their natural tendencies. My White-personality son was happy taking his college courses online. He never left the house unless absolutely necessary. But for my 15-year-old daughter, a Yellow, things were really tough. 

In 2019, my daughter was a social butterfly.  On weekends, she would leave one friend’s home to go stay at another’s. Sometimes, she would be gone all weekend. She was an A and B student, loving the connections she made with her teachers. She enjoyed the perks of being a good student like extra trips to the vending machines or bathrooms.  She was heavily involved in softball and played travel softball as well as on her school team, which kept us running to practice or tournaments most nights and weekends. 

Her whole world changed in March of 2020.  In the matter of a few weeks, everything that was fun for her was gone.  School became virtual, with a hand-me-down Chromebook and teachers who had never used Zoom. The softball season was up in the air. “Keep doing drills at home,” her coach said, “We will be back in no time.” We live in the Northeast, so we were put on lockdown and became the epicenter of COVID-19 cases for months. That meant no social gatherings of any kind. 

Being a Color Code trainer for many years, I saw the writing on the wall.  This was bad for my Yellow daughter.  In her world, every bit of fun had been taken away.  The change was huge.  I watched my sparkling daughter become dark and withdrawn. She didn’t care about anything.  Yellows already struggle keeping themselves focused (squirrel), so she started sleeping until 2 p.m. and was up until 3 a.m.  Her room was a mess, and her grades started to suffer because she couldn’t structure herself. She couldn’t focus on what needed to get done and do it. 

I quickly realized I needed to create a new version of fun for her. Something, anything to make her smile. Quick trips to the Dollar Store to see if there were Hot Cheetos on the shelf became a huge event!  Dropping off groceries outside grandma’s house was noteworthy!  Calls we made to family were on FaceTime so we could interact in some way. 

She really missed her friends. I was determined to create some fun. With just a few clicks, an Amazon driver showed up with a box of assorted candy. I decided to make some special deliveries to her friends. It was a big deal for them. As soon as we’d pull in the driveway, her friend would come running out all excited. They’d run right up to the car window, because at that time we weren’t used to the 6 feet of separation yet. My daughter wouldn’t put the window down until they were at least 6 feet from the car (following the rules, that’s her Blue secondary). Once they were socially distanced, she’d toss her friend’s favorite candy out the window like it was a Halloween parade! They laughed and joked about how silly it all was. Occasionally, a mom would make an appearance, too (typically with a glass of wine in hand). They got to interact in person. It worked for a while.

But then it got boring, because, well…. Yellows get bored easily.  Those things that were fun get to be routine and then lose their luster. I needed to shake things up for her, so we started driving lessons.

My daughter has been driving riding mowers and golf carts for years. It felt like a natural progression, even though she is not of age quite yet. We just needed to add some fresh excitement into her quarantined world. We live in the country, and there was no one on the roads. I felt very safe when she was driving. So we started small drives around the backcountry roads. She loved it!  We jammed out to great tunes, checked in with the farm animals, and saw breathtaking sunsets along the way. In both cases, we had to create fun while making new memories!

My daughter is not the same person she was in 2019. Obviously, none of us are. I mourn the girl she used to be, but I have hope she will find her way back to a new sparkly version of herself.  This is a lesson for all of us: Embrace your Yellow no matter what it looks like!

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Mary Frances Mika is a Blue who has been facilitating Color Code classes for years. She has a degree in Psychology and has PHR, SHRM-CP, and CPTD certifications.  When she’s not training, Mary Frances connects with her White secondary self by gardening, bird watching, and reading.  She loves to see the impact the Color Code has on her participants.