Red: Do what I’ll say and we’ll get along just fine.
Blue: Tell me you appreciate me, and I’ll walk to the ends of the earth for you.
Welcome to the relationship of Reds and Blues. A relationship combination that you’ve probably heard us lovingly refer to in the past as “Blood, Sweat, and Tears.”
Truthfully, we could talk about this complicated relationship combination for days, but this article will focus on the foundational difference in MOTIVE that perhaps causes the greatest struggle for these two strong personalities when trying to make a relationship work successfully (whether it be personal or professional).
As you most likely know by now, Reds are motivated by Power, while Blues are motivated by Intimacy. The problem is, that typically neither offers what the other wants without first demanding that his or her own needs be met.
Dr. Hartman has shared in the past a story which demonstrates this:
“A national sales manager (Red) for a training company requests telephone calls from each of his thirty trainers to inform him about the results of seminars they conducted. Results to him mean numbers, referrals, and bottom line. One of his top trainers is Blue. Results to him mean successful life changes and connection with his audience, as well as the bottom line.
Prior to Blue’s knowing the Color Code, their weekly phone calls went like this: Blue trainers calls Red sales manager. Red sales manager is unavailable and prefers message to be left on his voicemail. Blue wants to talk about the seminar directly, so he leaves a message to call him back. Frustrated Red sales manager calls back because he needs the numbers that Blue trainer refused to divulge without sharing stories of people and connections from the seminars. They play phone tag three times and finally connect. The dialogue follows:
Blue trainer: had thirty-seven people at the seminar. Two people gave me referral cards for other companies to contact. But the best part was this guy who comes up to me afterward and tells me how the seminar has saved his job. He understands how to apply time-management principles better at home as well. He also wanted me to know—
Red sales manager: Thanks, Tom. I got the numbers and I gotta go!
Both hang up frustrated. The Red sales manager hates having to hear from Tom each week, but he’s one of his top trainers. Tom is frustrated every time the sales manager stops him from sharing what really matters to him from the seminar.
After Tom learned the Color Code, their dialogue went like this:
Blue trainer: (calls Red sales manager and gets voice mail) Hi. This is Tom. Had thirty-seven people in Dallas. Got two referrals and faxed them to Cindy for follow-up. ‘Bye for now.
Red sales manager: (smiles listening to voicemail, transfers the numbers to his report, and calls Tom regularly to check on how he is doing because he wants him to feel connected since he’s a top trainer.
Note: Blue learned to speak Red’s language. Red gets his numbers, and Blue doesn’t take Red’s lack of interest personally. Blue is currently entertaining offers at other companies where he feels more connection. Red offered an increase in salary. Blue accepted money and is still looking.”
When it comes to making marriages and romantic relationships last long term, these two personality types can experience an even more intense struggle of Motives. Thankfully, their shared strong sense of commitment and loyalty substantially increases their chances for success if they are both willing to work at it. And, we always say it’s almost impossible to beat this relationship combination when both parties have paid their dues to become charactered because they both will show up strong and fight for each other and the relationship. However, if either party lets their natural differences and limitations prevent them from meeting the needs of their partner, it’s extremely difficult for this combination to function healthily long-term.
If you’d like us to explore more of this relationship combination—or any particular aspect of it, let us know in the comments on our recent Facebook or Instagram post on this and we will do our best in the coming weeks. And of course, if you don’t want to wait for us, you can always get a very solid understanding of this relationship combination by working with one of our certified independent trainers or exploring the free relationship videos that come with the purchase of a full personality assessment at colorcode.com.
Thanks for stopping by! Until next time, here’s to you and your relationships.
—The Color Code Team
Joe England has known about the Color Code ever since 1994 when his Grandpa caused quite a family controversy by “quick coding” everyone. Luckily, Joe could see the value in what Grandpa Don was going for and years later, when the opportunity arose to work for the Color Code in marketing and product development, Joe jumped at the chance. He is a Yellow, enjoys Swedish Fish, travel, surfing, snowboarding and being a dad.
