Weekly Tools and Tips to Improve Any Relationship
My “ask the expert” question is this… I am a Red with 25% Yellow; I find that at work there is a good blend of Red & Yellow. However, as soon as I get home, my Red goes away and I’m just Yellow. I would like to be more Red at home, but haven’t figured out how to do it. Any suggestions?
Donitta
==========
Dear Donitta,
What a great question! Thanks for bringing it up. I hear this with other Reds, actually, so please know that you are not alone.
To answer this, we should first have a quick review on the two types of motives that we talk about in the Color and Character Codes. Then, we’ll dive into what the motives are behind your lack-of-Red-at-home situation.
So… motives. The first kind of motive that we discuss in our trainings is your Driving Core Motive (DCM). The DCM is all about your “Color Code type”. Reds are motivated by Power, Blues by Intimacy, Whites by Peace, and Yellows by Fun.
As you know, that is what we primarily teach and focus on in the Color Code.
Next, we have the ordinary every day motives that are behind our daily actions and activities.
Consider the father shouting at his children. Has he finally lost every shred of patience and resorted to yelling and threatening to intimidate them into compliance? – Or – Is there some kind of imminent danger that he is warning them about?
Those every day kinds of motives, we focus more on in the Character Code, of course.
So let’s talk about you. The answer to your question lies in understanding WHY it is that your Yellow takes over when you get home from work and you can’t get your Red DCM to take the same kind of action it does when you are at work.
If you can understand the answer to that question, you can begin to formulate some ideas and strategies around what to do about the situation.
Many of the Reds that I talk to say two things that may be relevant here for you (as idea starters):
1. They say that they mellow as they mature. For many Reds, they tend to be very hard-charging, and believe that they are always right (and everybody else is wrong) during their 20s and 30s. Later in life, however, they learn to let that go because they’ve learned better ways of dealing with things. Consequently, they may be a lot more passive in their approach to getting things done at home than they used to be.
2. They say that they go to war at work every day and bring their A-game. However, by the time they are done with work for the day, they are tired of running the world and want somebody else to make the decisions and take the initiative when they get home.
I don’t know if that applies to you or not, but it is an example of what other Reds have said in the past.
Once you discover your reason why, then you can make changes.
One general tip that I would be happy to share, however, is to make sure that you have a separate daily to-do list at home. In other words, use your Red gifts to set goals for your home life just like you do in your work life. Prioritize those goals and put due dates on them.
It may actually be helpful to make that daily list and do that goal setting in the morning right after you set your professional goals for the day. That way your mind is already engaged in that Red-conquer mode. Then, when you get home at the end of the day, the list is already there and you have already committed to doing it.
Good luck, Donitta. I hope that helps.
Very best of living,
Jeremy Daniel
Jeremy Daniel (Core Color: Yellow) has been working with the Color Code since 1998 in various capacities from training in the field personally with Dr. Taylor Hartman to designing customized corporate solutions and new training programs for various industries. To ask about Jeremy’s training or speaking services, please email and inquiry to jeremy@colorcodetraining.com.
