Ask the Expert

Dear Jeremy,

I can tell that I am not being true to my core personality, which is Yellow—motivated by fun. Most people who know me (other than my family) would say that I come across as an extremely White and submissive personality. I have gotten very used to acting this way, but I always feel incomplete and unsatisfied. I have tried to pull out my personality more, but I never seem to succeed. I feel trapped by people’s expectations of how I will act, and I find myself fearing the negative Yellow traits that only come out when I am more comfortable. How can I work through my fears and be true to my core personality and be more satisfied with myself and my life?

Thank you!

Paige

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Dear Paige,

It’s good to hear from a fellow Yellow…so let’s talk. Before we do, though, I need to recap, because we have a few different things going on here. From what I understand:

  • You want to let your Yellow “shine” more (as you should!), but you are afraid that if you allow that, your Yellow limitations might embarrass you, or get you arrested.Of course, I’m kidding about that last part… sort of. 😉
  • Your family sees this side of you, but others don’t and you feel trapped by their expectations.
  • You believe that bringing out your Yellow more, you will feel more satisfied with yourself and with life.

First of all, let me just acknowledge that I believe your thinking is right on here. I think that if you are more true to your Core Yellow personality that you will feel more satisfied with yourself and life. I also completely believe that you should proactively look for ways to let your Yellow shine through.

I know that if you do that, you will regain your zest for life and greatly improve your inner happiness. Further, I know that you can do it without being completely trapped by your limitations.

Here are some of my suggestions on what to do.

One of the first things I would look for ways to purposefully be more Yellow. That will break the ice a little so that it’s easier to be more spontaneously Yellow.

I would do this by first making a list of 10 things that you love to do—just for the joy of doing them. As a Yellow, you should know what I mean here. These are things that are not tied to an outcome or a responsibility or an expectation, etc. This is just for fun. So what do you like to do? Go to the beach? Dance? Go to the movies? Play the kazoo? Groom your pet rock? What are they for you?

Make your list of 10 things and then put them in order from your favorite of the ten down. Once you make this list, ask yourself when the last time you did these things was. After you recover from the wave of nausea that passes over you when you realize what you’ve given up, resolve to start doing these things again. Make them a priority. Make them a plan so that they actually happen.

As a Yellow, when you engage in activities that you love to do just for the sake of doing them, you reconnect with your “Fun” energy, and that alone can help you feel like you are coming out of a coma.

Next, you might start feeling like you want to start pulling out your Yellow more in your general relationships. I think you need to consider why it is that you feel comfortable being Yellow with your family, but not outside of the family. Usually it’s because you don’t feel as vulnerable around family. They already know you, they accept you, etc. People outside of family present more of a risk to Yellows, because we really worry about not being liked sometimes.

Sure, we put up a good front like we’re as cool as the other side of the pillow and that any kind of trouble or worry simply rolls off our back. But the truth is that Yellows are much more sensitive than they appear, and are often afraid to share of themselves openly, because they’re afraid of being hurt. Lots of Yellows are like that, so I hope you don’t feel alone in that regard.

I hope that you know that your true friends will not judge you too harshly, or hopefully not at all, as you bring out more of your hidden Yellow side. Those that do are probably not worth your time anyway.

However, it is wise to address your concern about the Yellow limitations. You should probably make a list of the limitations you feel come up—the ones that you specifically worry about being disruptive. Maybe you become obnoxious or turn into an interrupter, or maybe you say inappropriate things. I’m not sure what it is specifically for you, but I would make a list. Next to each Yellow limitation on that list, I would think through specific scenarios where you see yourself falling into that limiting behavior. Once those limitations are in your consciousness, a lot of times, you’ll begin anticipating when they will start to come out so that you can pick an alternate behavior instead.

At the end of each day, I would suggest you do some journaling. Start with your Yellow success moments and then move onto your Yellow limitations appearances. When you take the time to write out your progress and acknowledge your setbacks, it continues to train your mind to move in the direction you want to go.

So, Paige, yes, it will take a little bit of practice and perseverance, but I’m confident that you can definitely get to where you want to be if you implement these strategies.

Good luck, and I’ll be rooting for you!

Very best of living,

Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International

Jeremy Daniel (Core Color: Yellow) has been working with the Color Code since 1998 in various capacities from training in the field personally with Dr. Taylor Hartman to designing customized corporate solutions and new training programs for various industries.  To ask about Jeremy’s training or speaking services, please email and inquiry to jeremy@colorcodetraining.com.

Never Underestimate the Yellow!

I have been fortunate enough to supervise hundreds of individuals in their daily work over the last fifteen years.  This has afforded me the opportunity to learn from many mistakes including underestimating the power and the potential of the Yellow personality type.  The reality—if the Yellow finds joy in their work, they can and often will be stars!

To understand why the Yellow personality is often underestimated and even misunderstood, we’ll take a brief look at the Red, Blue and White under a critical but common work condition—stress caused by heavy and challenging workloads.

The Red: This personality will put her nose to the grindstone; many a brow has been furrowed and never a smile has been cracked by the Red in this situation.  Everything becomes “act now, ask questions later.”  This personality often expects everyone else to close their mouths and move their hands and anyone not doing so must simply be irresponsible.

The Blue: This personality gets very serious and the worry begins to pile up quickly.  The Blue will often do a “deep-dive” into all that can, might, and (in their mind) will go wrong.  Anyone who doesn’t sympathize with them “just doesn’t care”according to the Blue.  Then the Blue will probably begin to plan how to dig himself out of the hole he perceives himself to be in.  This planning process can be intense and exhaustive.

The White: The White will commonly react one of two ways.  The first way, if they are not in charge of things, is that they will retreat into their own space and put on some headphones and close a door.  The second, if they are in charge of things, is that they will in a very calm, collected and focused way analyze the circumstances and take swift and simple action to remove or mitigate the offending stressors, usually without too much discussion or explanation unless someone asks “why?”.

These are commonly what the Red, Blue and White do, and expect from others.  Clearly the Yellow is the odd duck out.  The other colors all get serious and focused but the Yellow goes the other direction.  Their instincts tell them to first lighten things up, help those around them relax – it’s much more enjoyable to deal with a heavy work load when you’re relaxed and laughing while you’re working.   They want to get creative with solutions, or make work a game because that’s a fun way to approach challenges.   So, on the surface, the Yellow appears to be “wasting time” (says Red), that he or she “just doesn’t care” (says Blue) or is an “unfocused distraction” (says White).   The result: the Yellow is often misunderstood, underestimated and disregarded.

Now let’s learn how to leverage the natural strengths of the Yellow in challenging work times.

The first thing we must do is value the way they do things.  We must accept that just because they’re smiling and laughing, it doesn’t mean they aren’t working hard – in fact, they are usually working at their peaks when they are smiling and laughing.

The next thing we can do is to leverage them in the right situations:

  • Give them freedom within boundaries for best results.
  • Seek their input when “outside the box” problem solving is required.  They are creative thinkers and relish an opportunity to ignore standard protocol.  It’s like a puzzle to them!
  • Utilize their natural gifts at livening up a crowd—make them the emcee of an event, give them the responsibility of leading a companywide meeting, put them in charge of social and community out-reach.
  • Give them the reins when a flashy, high-impact, high-energy business presentation is needed.
  • Insert them into a team that doesn’t have a yellow. Without a Yellow, things get serious fast and just get more serious from there.
  • They are amazing at sales if they believe in the product.  They’ll bring energy and positivity to the selling cycle.
  • If you have a Yellow leader that has already proven him/herself, they are the most natural at implementing change.  Change is difficult for many (think Blue, White, Red if they disagree) and the Yellow will most easily communicate the positives of change and their enthusiasm is infectious.
  • The Yellow can be very effective at delivering important announcements, especially if she is allowed to write the announcement herself.  They are very genuine people and audiences can feel and respond positively to that.
  • Pay attention, you never know what a Yellow will find fun or joyful.  When they do find it, they will become stars. (I know a Yellow who is a secondary white that loves filing papers!!)

The last thing we must do is recognize and appreciate their impact and their value.  They experience life through their emotions. When they sense our appreciation, it becomes a joyful experience for them which leads them to want to repeat their performance.  Think of joy as fun and it all makes sense.

So it comes down to this: 1) Value their way, 2) leverage them in the right situation, 3) and appreciate their contribution.

Let me leave you with a story of a close friend that was underestimated. He worked in a sales-driven company and he hit a glass ceiling.  He was passed over for promotion several times.  The feedback he got was that he was good at the job, got great results and people liked him, but he just wasn’t serious enough. No surprise, he eventually left after feeling under appreciated. He became a realtor and in one year’s time became the second leading sales person in all of America for single-family homes in his company that has thousands of realtors across the country. Over 60 homes in less than 12 months sold!!  He loves house hunting, he finds joy in helping others, and he sees the potential in every home.   His broker valued his style, leveraged his personality and appreciated his accomplishments. CC

Pangelinan, Derek,

Derek Pangelinan (core Red, with a Blue secondary) specializes in Talent and Leadership Development and Leadership Training for Fred Meyer Stores, a division of The Kroger  Co.  Fred Meyer was just voted as the #4 Top Large Work Place in Oregon (The Oregonian Newspaper).  His wife and two boys are all Yellow.