Dear Jeremy,

One of our supervisors here is a bit challenged working with mostly Blues, she is a Red.  In hindsight, she felt she over did it with the Blues, in being overly nice, praising, and doing all of the wonderful things she was doing to appeal to the Blues.  She said is was awful, as she knows they were thinking “who is this?!” 

She had fallen more into her secondary Blue color and felt she was trying too hard and it backfired. She said she didn’t feel like she could hand out any more lollipops! 

Now she has found a healthy balance in that she is now utilizing her Color Code knowledge with the awareness of what blues need instead of going overboard!  A couple of questions….

1. Is it possible to over do it? – (She was not being congruent!)
2. Is it always best to appeal to DCM no matter what!?  Example…an employee has a Blue DCM, however, she acts Red, says she is red (she has a strong secondary red) and appears to be a Red!

Your insights would be greatly appreciated!

Lisa

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Dear Lisa,

Thanks so much for these great questions. Please allow me to dive right in…

Your first question was, “Is it possible to over do it? — (She was not being congruent!)”

Yes. Definitely. I do think that it’s easy to over do it, actually. The truth is that people still expect her to be a Red—she doesn’t need to change who she is (especially in the strengths category) to get along with those Blues.

Sometimes if you try too hard, it just flat out comes off as insincere—especially to Blues with a built-in meter to gauge for that. 🙂

When that happens, it feels more like you are trying to manipulate or trick others into compliance. What should happen is that people should appreciate the fact that you are making an effort to connect and communicate in a way that they feel respected.

We don’t have to act like Blues to get along with Blues. She should be whom she is, but try to focus on her strengths while being aware of when her limitations creep in (with a wrecking ball in tow).

However, it’s obviously still important that she use the insights provided by the Color Code—or what’s the point, right?! I see this happening when people increase their sensitivities to what other people “need” and “want” and when they tailor their communication patterns in an appropriate (but not over-the-top) way. For example, instead of rattling off orders in Red, “Drill Sergeant” style. She should remember to be more polite and ask people to help, and thank them (instead of just expecting them to do it because, “Are you kidding me?! That’s why we PAY you, so we don’t have to ask!).

She should try to be more sensitive, more caring, more appreciative and “warm”, but without feeling like she has to enable poor performance or to “hand out lollipops” instead of addressing the facts.

Your second question was, “Is it always best to appeal to DCM no matter what!?  Example…an employee has a Blue DCM, however, she acts Red, says she is red (she has a strong secondary red) and appears to be a Red!”

Trick question! Okay. So the simple answer to the question is “yes”. It is best to work to appeal to a person’s Driving Core Motive as opposed to their Secondary Color. It is always going to be more significant and will produce better results generally.

The reason I think this sounds like a trick question is that I wonder how you know she is for sure a Blue and not a Red? I would start with that because even though she has test results, those results need to be self-validated. Of course, she could be deceiving herself, in which case others might more objectively observe that she is not a Red (other Reds would have an especially good read on this one).

It’s a little uncommon, but I do see people from time to time who take the test from a flawed perspective and are scored as a Color that was not their DCM. It’s not a problem with the instrument, but rather with their ability to answer the questions truthfully (or perhaps to follow the instructions). That said, you have to take that possibility into account.

Thanks so much, Lisa, for sending in your questions. I truly hope this helps.

Very best of living,
Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International