I resolve to diet.

I resolve to exercise.

I resolve to improve my relationship with a certain Blue.

I resolve to (once again) work on my limitations.

Does this sound familiar? As you read this, I have (most likely) failed at every one of my resolutions. Yet, every year I, along with millions of people worldwide, insist that this year will be different.

One area I think we would all like to improve upon is our relationship with others. I admit that there are areas I can work on.

Over ten years ago, I was given a book entitled Life’s Little Treasure Book on Wisdom. It is full of sage advice such as: Remember that the person who steals an egg will steal a chicken. As I continued thumbing through this amusing tomb, I came across this bit of advice—more of a challenge, really—that rocked me. It said: For the next twenty-four hours, refrain from criticizing anyone or anything. I decided to try it. Easy enough, right? Well, I am a Red, and like it or not, it’s part of my innate personality to criticize, even if it’s muttering to myself.  I said to myself, “The twenty-four hours starts now. Dang. Now. Doh. Now.” Then, “OK, I’ll start tomorrow”. I don’t believe I was ever successful. I challenge everyone to try it—not just the Reds and Blues.

But you don’t need a Book of Wisdom to become better person for yourself and others. Use the skills you’ve learned from the Color Code.

Work on getting rid of your limitations and building on the strengths you have from you driving core motive and your secondary colors. In other words, resolve to become charactered.

For instance, if there is someone at your job who rubs you the wrong way, begin each morning with a positive greeting. That’s enough for now. Don’t push it. You will seem insincere to the person and most likely you will feel like a phony. After you are comfortable with that first step, go a step further. Ask how their job is going (or some other semi-personal question). Reds…be sure to listen and respond without being impatient.  Yellows…don’t interrupt—this isn’t about you. Blues…don’t get too personal too fast and remember the TMI (too much information) rule. Whites…well, you need to look them in the eye and really pretend to care. You may be surprised that the animosity between you is only a bad habit. Heck, you may have a lot in common. According to statistics, 88% of people leave their jobs because of a bad relationship with a co-worker or supervisor. Maybe your efforts will make it 87%.

But work shouldn’t always come first. According to pittsburgh.about.com, the number one New Year’s resolution is to spend more time with family and friends—a great way to strengthen relationships. Set aside that precious time. Listen and recognize the needs and wants of your loved ones. Remember, your needs and wants may be in conflict with theirs. Your Yellow spouse wants to go dancing while you as a White, would rather go to a movie. Your Blue spouse wants to tell you more than you, as a Red, really want to hear. Your Yellow child follows you around chattering until you wonder why an on/off switch for children hasn’t yet been invented. Before you react, take a moment to think about why they feel the need to share these moments with you, and learn to appreciate that they do.

Becoming charactered will be more difficult than losing twenty pounds, quitting a bad habit, or going to the gym, but in the end, you will see results beyond your expectations.

Now, I better go and practice what I preach.

Happy New Year