Weekly Tools and Tips to Improve Any Relationship
Have you ever seen this kind of story play out either in your own life or in somebody else’s?
Let’s say there’s a woman named Nicole who is unhappy with life. She just really doesn’t feel very successful, so she vows to change. She ends up taking massive action and focusing like she never has before. Things start to change for Nicole, and she starts stacking up victories. Her persistence eventually leads her to achieve great financial success!
…But she’s still not happy, and she can’t figure out what went wrong.
Do you know someone like Nicole?
My guess is that you’ve probably seen something like that played out before. Of course, the scenario could be different. It doesn’t have to be about money. It could be about getting into a relationship, or losing weight, or moving to a new location, or having a child, or changing careers, or any number of other things.
It’s not that any of those goals won’t bring happiness or fulfillment either. They absolutely can! Change can be wonderful — especially if you pursue it in a healthy way and set yourself up for success.
Here are my three tips for doing just that:
I’ll explain. 😉
This one should be no secret and is perhaps the most obvious place to start. If you don’t yet understand the power of Self-Awareness, it’s probably time to start…
I mean, Socrates is the one who coined the phrase, “know thyself”, and the guy’s been dead for over 2,400 years!
It makes sense that you truly have to understand who you are and what makes you “tick” before starting on your journey to create change.
Taking the Color Code assessment is a great way to begin this process of self-discovery, as we help you determine the type of Driving Core Motive that powers your personality and affects your emotional needs and wants.
But let’s move on to the next step…
Here’s where the wheels come off for a lot of people. They assume that by creating the change they want by adopting new habits, etc., they will be led to happiness.
This is not always true.
It CAN be, but you have to start from a healthy place where you value yourself first. Too often when it comes to change, people are trying to create it because they have a deeply-rooted belief that they are not good enough.
What I mean is that somebody, somewhere, or perhaps society/popular culture, convinced them that they are not valuable just as they are — that somehow, they are fundamentally flawed. We can even convince ourselves of this.
Sometimes this way of thinking happens when we constantly compare ourselves to others. I’m a Yellow, so it might be easy for me to look at a Red who is completely focused on their career and wish I could be that way. Then I might look at a Blue who is naturally organized and feel bad about myself for not being so as well. Then I begin to envy somebody with a White personality because of how patient they are.
Every time we compare ourselves to others in a way that results in negative self-talk, we chip away at our own feelings of self-worth.
Comparisons are dangerous, because we forget that just because somebody has different talents than ours, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own special abilities as well — and that they are not just as remarkable!
(Please Note: Comparisons are equally dangerous if they make us feel superior to others because they can’t do certain things that we can do.)
If we first value who we are, then we embark on the change process because we want to add to what is already good, then we know that the change can and usually will lead to the increase in happiness that we are seeking.
The cartoonist Walt Kelly is famous for writing, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”
It’s true, isn’t it? We have a knack for getting in our own way. Sometimes our very strengths taken too far create limitations. Take Blues for example. Once, when talking about Blue strengths and limitations, I asked a group what the difference was between being detail conscious (a Blue strength) and being a perfectionist (a Blue limitation).
In a quick-witted reply, one of the participants quipped, “About five hours!”
So we have to take inventory of ourselves. Let’s focus on our strengths, but not allow our limitations to dictate the outcome of our efforts. This takes constant, vigilant monitoring, but it can be done.
The other way that we need to “get over ourselves” is when we just take ourselves too seriously. In the change process, a little humility can go a very long way.
My promise to you is that if you apply these three steps to the changes in life that you are trying to make, you will give yourself every opportunity for a lasting, happy and positive outcome.
Onward and upward!
Jeremy Daniel
Jeremy Daniel is the Vice President of Training for Color Code. He leads our Trainer Certification Program and has been teaching the Color Code and delivering motive-based applications to clients internationally since 1998.
