Weekly Tools and Tips to Improve Any Relationship
We met about 40 years ago and got acquainted by way of introduction.
My friend mentioned to me that there was this girl…so off I went with him on this girl-finding mission.
We met and got to know each other better, finding over the course of a few short visits that we had a lot of common interests.
She was from Eastern Canada, and I from the West, some 1600 or so miles apart. Feeling homesick, she decided to go back to her Eastern stomping grounds.
I let her go without much being said or done to prevent her from going back.
Of course, letter writing was part of the deal, but it worked only so well as I dropped the ball and only managed to send one of the letters I had written.
Being a perfectionist, I decided I wasn’t doing so well in my writing of letters, so most of them went into the garbage.
About two years later, she came back out West and was staying only two hours away. Her sister told her to phone me. She did and asked if I would like to see her. I told her to come, and we can meet again. We picked up like nothing had changed.
Two weeks and thirteen diamonds later, we were engaged. Two months later, we were married. Three years in, we became parents of our first child (we didn’t know about the Color Code yet).
It’s a boy, and he was born in the Eastern stomping grounds of my wife’s past. We had moved there after homesickness had hit her again.
We began to raise our son and could see early on that fun was his M.O.
Anything that was fun was what attracted him.
As he grew up, his need for fun and friends was so great, and this, although quite fascinating to us, was a bit exhausting for us and a bit perplexing, because he was not easy to discipline. If we took something away from him we felt would matter to him and help him come to terms with our direction, he just moved on and found fun through some other means, therefore our desired impact was rendered virtually useless.
Reigning him in to complete his assignments or chores of any kind became a defeated task, as we Blue parents expected so much more than he could personally give. By this time, we were in the know about the Color Code and began to understand better. Life was a lot easier and more exciting.
Upon reflection after all the years and their unknowns, we have a very well-grounded Yellow son as an adult, so we have to believe that we have done a good job of raising him. A big part of this came as a result of using the Color Code to teach and understand one another.
We have adjusted as Blues to understand him better, and he as a Yellow has aligned with our Blue personalities very well and is a treasure in life to so many in our circles.
We really had a blessing added to our life here as we had a Blue personality daughter who responded very well to any bumping and steering we provided along the way.
The connection is huge to this day, and relating is never too far off in our thinking and actions.
As a little girl, her artistic abilities and pride that comes with doing great art was brought to my attention by her little smile and, “Come see what I did, Daddy” request…and a trip around the other side of our new Suburban.
Once around to see her art on the side of the vehicle slightly etched into the clear coat, I, although a bit taken aback, had to smile, yet be serious enough to make a point, when I calmly said to her, “It looks great!” Then I proceeded to ask her, “What do we say about writing on the walls in the house?” She replied that, “We don’t do that,” and I replied, “This is like the walls.” Her response was a simple, “OK, Daddy.” I knew to handle it from a state of alarm and a huge, lengthy reprimand would have crushed her.
As she grew, and I as a dad wanted to guide her for her safety in life, I have to admit that I could go on with every angle of every topic we addressed for a long time. I didn’t want my point to be missed in any way, so if I felt I was getting the “deer in the headlights look,” I was on it from a different angle.
This was true with all my children; however, my beautiful Blue daughter decided to leave during one of my lengthy worries being expressed yet another way, and I was left figuring out what just happened. I am pleased I had enough insight to let it be and believe it was not out of disrespect.
Her short letter was an eye-opener for me…she understood. This letter set the stage for better parenting for all my children and connection with their friends. It mellowed my Blue personality reactions a lot.
White as Yoda.
Whenever we got into a discussion that she really felt the need to address, I could tell I was to be bested regardless of the topic of concern.
It wasn’t a power struggle so much as it was a digging in by my White personality daughter who felt beyond a doubt she had to be heard and understood.
She was very easy to raise and so calm in nature it oozed out of her; however, as a young adult, if she needed to set things straight to realign her life in our Blue personality minds so she could reset that calm over the present issue, she was by far the most challenging.
We had to let it go most of the time and trust that for the most part she had the foundation of good judgement and things would work out well — and things have.
Although all our children increased our friendship base, our White personality daughter brought us into new relationships the most, as she was a natural connector with the patience to bring people together for meaningful events.
As Blue personality parents, we have learned a lot from raising our three children with three different personalities and are so grateful for their education through life. They have taught us in so many ways how to successfully meet the differences we all have as a direct result of our DCMs (driving core motives).
All our children add so much value to our lives and the differences in personalities really are a blessing that is also the spice in our interactions.
Knowing how their personalities work helps so much in knowing where they are coming from and vice versa. This ‘enables’ our relationships that could otherwise be cause for discontent. We have everything to be thankful for in using the Color Code to develop our deeper understanding and appreciation for each other.
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Ron Preston has owned and operated nine different businesses in a design remodeling, restoration, and retail background. Through the years of working with people, Ron is convinced this is one of the most effective tools in the personality growth science available. Ron has been working with Color Code for over 14 years. He studies human behavior and writes for different forums and trains on a person-to-person basis. You may contact him by email at brkscc@telusplanet.net.
