Month: March 2015

A Red, a Blue, and 10,000 Steps

I bought a Fitbit®. For those of you who have been say, on the moon, a Fitbit® is a small device that when tucked into your pocket, counts the steps you walk in the course of a day—all 24 hours of it. This latest craze recommends that you walk 10,000 steps in those 24 hours. Easy right? Ha!

Being a Red, it is important for me to be challenged and I thought this handy little piece of technology would do exactly that. Ha! again. I have owned said product since February 18th and have yet to walk 10,000 steps in a day. The closest I have come is 8,044 steps and that is the day I had to visit the Apple Store’s Genius Bar and ended up walking from one end of the mall to the other, and paced for 3 hours while my repairs were being made.

In the normal course of the day, and because my job is sedentary, I walk around 3500 steps. Challenged by the Fitbit®, I now force myself to get up several times a day and “pace” out 100 steps. I walk to the store rather than drive, and I make sure to take extra steps while doing housework, etc. Still, with all of the increased walking, I am getting only around 6000 steps per day.

What does all this have to do with Color Code you ask? Read on…

Every night while preparing for bed I mumble things like “I can’t believe it is so difficult to walk 10,000 steps” or “Really? All that walking and I’m at 6452 steps!”

I realize my mistake the minute I look into my Blue husband’s blue eyes. “Well”, he says, “if I were you…”

Before I go on, let me just say this. You people out there think that in a Red/Blue relationship, the Red is the boss. Ha! again. Blues have a way of making Reds capitulate to any demand. We might have our dander raised, but if we say anything, it just means MORE DISCUSSION. Point Blue.

But, to give him credit, my husband never, ever begins said discussion with “You should …”

Why? He may be judgmental, but he isn’t stupid.

Instead, he begins expressing his opinion by using one of these seemingly innocuous openings:

“If it were me…”

“If I were you…”

“I usually…”

Example: I’m at a stop sign, stuck with 3 cars behind me, and unrelenting traffic in front of me—no way out. This is when he can’t resist calmly stating, “I usually go the other way where there is a light to make a left turn.”

Or: We are on a cruise to celebrate our anniversary. I have done nothing but hug a garbage can all night. Soothingly, he whispers, “If I were you, I wouldn’t think about being seasick, and then you won’t be. It worked for me.”

Yes. He is still alive and not resting at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico.

Now…back to the story.

Where was I? Oh, yes.

“Well, he says in his thoughtful, analytical way, “If I were you I would calculate how many steps you have to take and then, based on your stride, convert it into miles, and then just get out there and walk that many miles.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded. “Really?” I think, “You’re saying that walking more will increase my step numbers?” I mean, he could have just told me that the sky is blue, or that candy bars are fattening, or some other tidbit that every single person on planet earth already knows.

Still, because (while it doesn’t sound that way now) I adore him, I don’t tell him that I’m impressed with his firm grasp of the obvious. I just continue to stare. Undeterred by my bemused look, he promptly uses his college algebra, solves for X and then proudly lets me know that to get 10,000 steps I have only to walk to the golf course and back everyday.

I can’t resist. I tell him, a bit sarcastically, that I have this small piece of technology in my pocket to solve for distance. What I’d like is for him to solve for TIME.

“Well, you just have to make the time. Maybe you can set your alarm to wake earlier,” he shrugs and goes back to his book. Problem solved.

Blues follows the rules. They are highly disciplined. Once they make a commitment, they are dependable and deliberate. My husband believes that if you are meant to take 10,000 steps, you should just get out and take 10,000 steps.

Me? I’m tempted to put the Fitbit® on my dog’s collar and curl up with a good book. But, the numbers and the challenge to achieve them nag me, and so I march forth on my quest for 10,000 steps. CC

 

Picture 1Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.

Ask the Expert

Mr. Jeremy-

Hello. My name is Emma, and I am a Blue. When I received my test results I noticed that Blues have a lot of needs to be fulfilled. They need to be appreciated, to be understood, be kind to, etc. However, I don’t feel like I’m getting these needs met. I also don’t know how to ask for them, because I feel like that is imposing too much on other busy people.

Is there a way I can either eliminate these needs or fulfill them myself? If not, how do I ask for these needs to be met? I don’t want to impose on others or scare them off because I’m needy. Thanks.

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Dear Emma,

Thank you so much for writing in with your excellent question. I would love to respond, and I hope that what I have to say can really be helpful to you. Here’s what we are going to cover in brief:

Every Color has significant Needs & Wants (not just Blues).

The only Color that absolutely requires the involvement of others to be fulfilled.

Asking for what you need (without feeling guilty).

To begin, please allow me to say, that you were so nice in the way that you asked the question, I wondered to myself whether you have a White secondary color. I haven’t seen your results, but it wouldn’t surprise me if you do.

That said, it seems it would be nearly impossible for you to “scare someone off”. 🙂

The reason I bring this up will become more apparent when I get to part 3 of my response.

For now, back to the top of the list…

1. Every Color has significant Needs & Wants (not just Blues).

When you read through your list of Needs & Wants, I can see how it would feel like you might have a lot of them, but please don’t be overwhelmed by that. Every Color has significant Needs & Wants. Blues may need to be good morally, but at the same time, Reds need to look good academically, and Whites need to feel good inside, and Yellows need to look good socially. (Do you get what I mean?)

So don’t think that you have more than others, per se, although it is possible that you could be more “needy” (your words) in having those be fulfilled. It is also possible, that as a Blue (and the same is usually true for Whites), you tend to be too hard on yourself.

I’m not sure which is the case, because I’ve never met you, but both are very real possibilities for you to consider after gathering some constructive feedback from people who really know you.

Let’s move to the next topic.

2. The only Color that absolutely requires the involvement of others to be fulfilled.

Of the four Driving Core Motives: Power (Red), Intimacy (Blue), Peace (White), and Fun (Yellow), the only one of these that absolutely REQUIRES the involvement of others to be fulfilled is… (you guessed it!), the Blues.

By definition, “Intimacy” requires the involvement of other people to be fulfilled. Power, Peace, and Fun, you can do on your own.

A lot of the Blues that I know or have worked with over time will also mirror your comment on feeling like they are not getting enough fulfillment from others. It’s pretty common, and Blues tend to have high expectations of the way that others should treat them.

The reason why, (which is extremely important to know, by the way), is that Blues give of themselves and serve others on a very high level. You, as a Blue, Emma, probably have really high expectations of yourself and are hard on yourself when you are not serving or giving on the level that you believe you should be. Truth be told, your expectations of yourself, (if you are like most Blues), are probably too high. When you have high expectations of yourself, most Blues extend that out to other people as well, and therefore you have high expectations of the way others should be interacting with you.

A Blue might think, “If I were you, and I knew my friend were struggling with ‘X’ problem, I would do this, or that, or…”

The logic that follows is dangerous, because it looks like this, “but because you’re not doing [what I would do], it could ONLY mean that you just don’t (fill in the blank… for example: ‘really care about me at all’)!”

If you fall into that way of thinking, I suggest you work on giving people a bit of a break. It’s not fair to hold them to the same high standards that you have of yourself, (which are likely unrealistic anyway). This can help eliminate some of the “neediness”.

We see the same kind of thing happen with other Colors, incidentally. For example, Reds are extremely productive, and they push themselves to accomplish quite a LOT of work. They have the tendency to expect similar levels of output for those who work for them, which can be completely unrealistic and can result in major burnout from their employees.

The bottom line is that it is dangerous to make comparisons between what we expect of ourselves and the way we think other people should be doing things.

So, let’s focus next on:

3. Asking for what you need (without feeling guilty).

As I mentioned at the beginning of my response, I felt that you asked about this so nicely, almost as a White might ask. Most Blues are a little stronger about asking for what they need, though they still might worry that they are the problem.

In any case, I think the first key is to know the Color of the person from whom are you asking for additional consideration so that you can really put it in their language as opposed to doing it in yours. When you try to make them see it your “Blue” way, sometimes that feels needy to other people.

My experience, though, is that people don’t mind if you ask, as long as you speak their language. Try to think rationally instead of emotionally before you ask. Find a way in advance to keep your request succinct and sincere without requiring that the other person completely UNDERSTANDS (Blues tend to want to force that bit of it) all of the circumstances surrounding your request, and emotions, etc. That’s when it usually feels like it is too much for others.

Try to keep it light, and realize that as a Blue, it still may come across a little heavy to the other person. Remember, your standards are not their standards.

Thanks again, Emma! I hope that helps.

Very best of living,

Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International

 

JeremyDanielJeremy Daniel (Core Color: Yellow) has been working with the Color Code since 1998 in various capacities from training in the field personally with Dr. Taylor Hartman to designing customized corporate solutions and new training programs for various industries.  To ask about Jeremy’s training or speaking services, please email and inquiry to jeremy@colorcodetraining.com.

St. Patrick’s Day–Getting Lucky Using Color Code

St. Patrick’s day is celebrated on March 17th throughout the world. Throughout the celebration, you will most likely see a someone wearing t-shirt that exclaiming “Kiss me, I’m Irish” no matter whether the wearer is Irish or not. On March 17th, there’s a bit o’ the Irish in all of us.

Another saying you’ll find oft repeated  “The Luck of the Irish”. The origin of the saying is an old one. It could actually mean good luck or bad. Some believe that the Irish are inherently lucky while others believe that the Irish people have suffered great hardship throughout history and the term is one of irony.

So, when talking about luck, we might be better off going with another ironic saying–this one from Thomas Jefferson. He said, “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”

How do we create our own luck? Just follow the suggestions below and by this time next year you may just have found your pot ‘o gold.

REDS come by luck easily. Reds love to win and don’t hesitate to go after what they want both logically and methodically. Reds are confident and single-minded. Challenges are great motivators for a Red simply because they do like to win. Being a natural leader, a Red will surround himself with a productive and focused team who will do his bidding. This can only enhance his luck.

However. In order to attain that pot o’ gold, we must have a well-rounded life. Unfortunately, on the relationship front, a Red can be lacking the sensitivity to maintain a “lucky” relationship. He can be demanding, critical, and insensitive, which may hold him in good stead in his professional life, but not his personal life. No friend or lover wants to hear about her (perceived) failings from someone who is supposed to cherish her.

A Red’s map to the pot o’ gold? Focus on your relationships. Work hard on your natural limitations of selfishness, insensitivity, and bossiness. Remember. There is a huge difference between being a boss and being a leader. You will find that people will be more responsive if you give accolades where due.

BLUES are lucky because, for them, their treasure at the end of the rainbow is successful and fulfilling relationships. Blues consider themselves rich if they are surrounded by those they care about–and are secure in the knowledge that their love is returned.

Blue’s are easy to love—your compassion is endless, but you can also be hard to please and judgmental. It can difficult to please a Blue because you want things just so and often expect the same perfection in others. You adhere to the rules and expect others to follow suit. Your relationships may suffer for it.

A Blue’s roadmap to the pot o’ gold? Muster up all of your strengths, because a healthy Blue is unbeatable in relationships. Conversely, you must learn to recognize your limitations and learn to accept others as they are. Have compassion for us lesser mortals, and think before you judge.

WHITES are lucky because they are so emotionally balanced. They are logical, but motivated by peace. This rare balance is the reason Whites are both objective and diplomatic. Whites are great listeners and can handle problems unemotionally. Whites are kind and rarely go out of their way to deliberately hurt someone.

Unfortunately, You can be taciturn and this makes it very difficult for those around to appreciate all that you have to offer. Unless you really trust someone, they will never crack the mystery that is a White.

A White’s roadmap must be accompanied by your desire to get there. You have a tendency to procrastinate initiating new goals in your life. Make the effort to focus (and carry through with) tearing down the obstacles that will allow others to share your journey in life.

YELLOWS are perhaps perceived as the luckiest of all the colors. A Yellow’s joy not only lies in what’s at the end of the rainbow, but the rainbow itself. They have such a fun-loving nature and people are naturally drawn to there charisma. Yellows contribute creativity and bursts of enthusiasm to whatever endeavor they pursue.

Yellows are willing to be flexible and often, this might be bowing out of an engagement because something better came along. Your fun-loving nature makes you want to be where the action is.

A Yellow’s roadmap to the treasure? For you the treasure is only a means to an end. It’s the journey that brings riches to a Yellow. Just remember not to be so self-centered that you forget that others have chosen to take the journey with you. Be mindful of their needs and wants.

Thomas Jefferson said it all. We have to work hard to achieve luck. In order for us to reach the gold at the end of the rainbow, we must focus on the journey and pay close attention to those whom we have committed to share this remarkable adventure.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day and may the (good) luck of the Irish be with you.

 

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Picture 1Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.

 

 

 

 

Ask the Expert

“My name is Ellen–I’m a White”

This month’s Ask the Expert article comes from a series of questions submitted by one of our subscribers, “Ellen”. Her actual email, while excellent, is too long to post here, however, we have summarized key questions in the responses below.

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Hello, Ellen.

Thank you so much for your email, and your excellent questions! I hope that my responses will be helpful to you. I’d like to address three of your main questions here in that hope:

Q: Do you have any advice for Whites on “success in a solo business setup”? (You mentioned feeling that business seems out of Character for a White.)

Q: If a White is doing something they believe in, do they “toughen up” naturally, or is there a set of conditioning practices I would suggest?

Q: How do Whites shine in business? In what sense, if any, are Whites “leaders”?

Rather than take these in sequence, I’ll attempt to summarize an answer to all of them.

First of all, please know that we absolutely believe that any Color can do any job or function in any kind of career. I’ve shared our program with so many people in all walks of life all over the world, and I know that to be true. There are in fact, many, Whites in business. They function very well in both team settings an as “solopreneurs”.

Typically Whites don’t require a lot of socializing and can prefer to work as independently as possible. However, that’s not true for all Whites. In fact, most of the Whites I know have the ability to both stand out as great team contributors or “fly solo” depending on their circumstances.

You have to remember that no two Whites are ever exactly the same. You might not know that we refer to Whites as the “chameleons” of the Color Code, because they are the most adaptable of any other Color. They have an uncanny natural ability (usually) to fit into whatever role that they need to. If that means that they must be more extroverted while in their work setting, so be it. They can do that and then comfortably step back out of that role when the job is done.

I think some of their best leadership characteristics involve being both powerfully independent, (you know you don’t feel the need to do what everybody else is doing, or thinks you should be doing) and being self-regulated. I think of the latter as having the ability to have “ice water in your veins,” so to speak. Whites don’t feel the need to hit the “panic button,” and are willing to replace emotional impulse with more rational thought.

Regarding leadership in general, I believe there are many White leaders who absolutely shine in their performance while maybe not having to be in the spotlight. I don’t know whether you’ve ever read any of Jim Collins’ work, but he wrote a blockbuster, best-selling business book called, Good to Great. The premise of the book is to identify the differences that exist in good, solid companies, and those that are truly great. One of the difference that Dr. Collins writes about is the fact that “great” companies are guided by something he coined as “Level 5 Leadership”. When I read about what a Level 5 Leader is, I thought that many of them must be Whites.

So, yes, Whites are cut out for leadership. They have a lot to offer – and that includes you specifically, by the way!

In terms of recommendations, the first thing that I would suggest is that you base your journey off of a solid sense of Self Awareness. Know who you are as a unique White. Understand what your strengths and your limitations are. One of the easiest way to do this is through our Character Code Assessment. It’s so revealing to take the assessment on yourself, and ask five other people to evaluate you as well. Ask them to be brutally honest and not try to protect you from feedback that could be perceived as being negative. (Believe it or not, but people are generally more protective towards Whites than any other Color, because they see you as being so nice and gentle and think that others will try to take advantage. Don’t take that personally. They just don’t know how tough you really are.) 😉

The assessment will encourage you to identify your top three limitations and then start to look for an antidote to those problems. I think that’s good advice, and I would look for people who can help you overcome those challenges. I would also advise you to identify (and even ask for feedback on) your top three strengths. Use those strengths to push forward in your leadership efforts and lean on them whenever you need to. This is important, because Whites often see themselves as being far less adequate than they actually are.

Again, accurate self-awareness can go a long, long way.

Another few bits of advice that I would offer Whites in general (and hopefully there is some application for you here), are as follows:

Learn to make decisions proactively. Trust in your decisions and take ACTION. Too many times White over-think and over-think and over-think. If you can’t decide on a project or a direction, just pick one, or find somebody you trust to help you make the decision and take meaningful action. Don’t give up when things don’t work out the first time. You might love the thinking stage, but staying in that stage is the same as confining yourself to a perpetual state of limbo. Try to work through that.

I would also advise you consciously decide to increase both the quality and the quantity of communication. Share what’s going on with other people, even when you don’t necessarily feel like connecting. It lets people know that you are engaged and interested. It helps them know where you are coming from and what you are feeling/thinking. You might be amazed at home many times people have expressed their frustration with Whites because of the lack of communication. I know that you may not need it, but other people do, and you need other people.

(It’s as simple as that).

In closing, I repeat myself when saying that you are more powerful and capable than you probably realize. If you want to go into business and the thought of it excites you, do it. You are tougher than you think.

Thanks, Ellen, for asking. I wish you all the best on your upcoming business ventures.

Many happy returns!

Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International

 

 

JeremyDanielJeremy Daniel (Core Color: Yellow) has been working with the Color Code since 1998 in various capacities from training in the field personally with Dr. Taylor Hartman to designing customized corporate solutions and new training programs for various industries.  To ask about Jeremy’s training or speaking services, please email and inquiry to jeremy@colorcodetraining.com.