Create Performance in Your Relationships!

Imagine going to bed at night with one person and waking up next to a seemingly different person in the morning. What would it be like never knowing what to expect from the person next to you? Never knowing what kind of mood they’ll be in that day? Even to the most adventurous among us, it would prove tiresome very quickly. We rely on consistency in others in order to know where we stand and what to expect in a relationship. You cannot easily commit to something or someone you cannot understand.

The tremendous power of the Color Code is its offering of truth. It reveals who you are and what others can expect from you. Like all people, you come with duality. First, you have your innate personality, which lies at the very core of your being. It is your driving core motive that inspires your deepest and most natural way of being. Second, you have your character, derived from outside influences and enhanced by personal choice. You are a unique blending of who you were born to be and who you choose to be. Once determined, you must commit to being your best self—authentically and consistently. Then allow people to trust and connect with you without fear of disappointment or betrayal.

Whatever it is you want your relationships to be about, you must personally commit to being yourself. If you want loyalty, be loyal. If you want fun, be fun. If you want kindness, be kind. Don’t desire something from another that you are unwilling to give yourself. When you enter a relationship, have your game plan and stay true to it. Play to your strengths and consistently expect the things you believe are fair and legitimate from the other person. Never apologize when asking for attitudes and/or behaviors that enhance and lift your relationship. However, remember that what you deem appropriate and easy is not necessarily the case for the other person.

Opposites attract. Subsequently you must be patient and persevering in helping others appreciate the things you value in a relationship. Remember what you are about and remain committed to your game plan. If you want to travel, inspire your partner to see its benefits. If you’d rather stay home than go out, then make staying home fun for your partner. Decide what you desire to be about in the relationship. Commit to it and be consistent.

Resonance occurs when what you claim you are about aligns with how you actually behave. It strikes others as genuine, legitimate, and believable. Your actions convince others that you will remain consistent with how you market yourself. Are your personal and professional relationships successful? If so, what are you doing to enhance them? If not, what is it about you that blocks their effectiveness? Can you trust yourself to remain consistent regardless of how the other individual chooses to behave?

One of the great signs of resonant people is their ability to stay true to how they choose to act regardless of others’ inconsistent behavior. Are you capable of exactness when others around you change to accommodate their fears and/or selfish whims? When you can be true to whomever you choose to be, regardless of others’ responses, you can become resonant in your relationships.

The questions remain, “Who do you choose to be? What do you choose to be about?” Eventually, your life becomes about the relationships you create. Relationships demand consistency and commitment. They begin by each individual choosing a source of action—a way of life with which they will become congruent in how they think and behave everyday. In the beginning, we choose who we want to be (or not!) by observing our parents. Eventually our innate personalities weigh in with their influence. Society colors our self-perceptions of what is appropriate and acceptable. In the end, we blend nature and nurture into a unique commitment of what we want to be about and how we want to behave in our relationships.

Ultimately, you are what you do. Congruent people behave as they say they will, which brings trust and confidence to their relationships. Does your behavior bring confidence and trust to others? Can they expect you to behave consistently with the individual you purported yourself to be? Resonance in relationships has little to do with the other person and everything to do with you. Commit to being the person you want to be. Consistently play to your strengths and align daily behavior with your game plan. All life is about relationships. This is your life.