Today my son Chris and I had an interesting conversation about love. He is a White and therefore very introspective when it comes to observing human nature. I, on the other hand, am a Red so tend to discount emotions that seem to inflict the lovelorn. Still, even though I am missing the romance chip, I found the conversation interesting.

It seems that Chris’s Yellow friend is addicted to falling in love. OK, addicted might be too strong a word, but he is strongly attracted to the high that one gets when the whole falling in love process begins. So, we will throw out the word addiction, but make no mistake…there are powerful chemicals involved. Chris knows that once his friend is in the throws of early love, he won’t often see him, and when he does, he will be distant and unfocused (Chris actually used the word “stupid”). There is nothing he can do, not even intervention, to save his friend at this point. He is a goner.

Being a Red, I decided to try to check into the unemotional, physiological aspects of love. It turns out that nobody, not even a Red, is immune from this falling in love stuff.

According to Helen Fisher of Rutgers University, the love process has 3 stages, all using a different and powerful chemical cocktail.

STAGE 1. LUST

The first stage is Lust. For the purposes of this g-rated blog, we will define lust as an “intense ardor”. It is an entirely selfish response that has nothing to do with love. Research has shown it takes as little as 90 seconds to decide if you are “in lust” …hardly time to fall in love.

During the Lust stage, the hormones testosterone and oestrogen kick in. Yes, in women too. Testosterone is not confined only to men. Both of these hormones are what drive your animal instincts.

STAGE 2. ATTRACTION

The second stage is Attraction. This is that magical time when you are truly love-struck and see your new partner and your new relationship through rose-colored glasses. Your hands sweat, your heart pounds and you can’t think of much else but this unbelievable person you’ve found. You are sure that they are perfect and your relationship is unlike any in all of history. It is also when the most powerful of all the love cocktails come into play: adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

Adrenaline
The early stages of attraction activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol so that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.

Dopamine
This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine!

Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .

Serotonin
Serotonin may explain why when you’re falling in love, you think obsessively about this new lover. Dr Donatella Marazziti, a psychiatrist at the University of Pisa analyzed blood samples from new lovers and discovered that serotonin levels were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.

STAGE 3: ATTACHMENT

This is the stage where the rose-colored glasses come off, and you still like what you see. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.

Again, this is a G-rated blog, so we won’t get into the effects or “distribution” of these two powerful hormones. Suffice it to say that they are what make us want to go forth and multiply.

Conclusion
It turns out the poets got it wrong when they waxed romantic about the heart. It is the brain that is the greatest organ of love. Without it and all the powerful chemicals it provides, you might never have advanced from stage 1. Just try finding a brain-shaped box of chocolates.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.