Recently, I have been re-reading the business bestseller, "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High" by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. Crucial conversations are defined as a dialogue where "opinions vary, stakes are high and emotions run strong." A principle premise of the book is that people well-skilled in language start to plan the conversation "in the heart." “Start with the heart” is actually the second step of the seven-step process. This refers to the questions you ask yourself when planning a crucial conversation. With over 4 million copies sold, these writers certa

I recently read that although the United States as a whole has a Blue personality culture, Hawaii’s culture is White. Having a strong White secondary myself, I was interested to observe this when I took my first trip to the Aloha State a few weeks ago. After anticipating this trip for many years, I wasn’t surprised to learn how much I loved the paradisiacal beaches and lush jungles of Kauai. But what did surprise me was how quickly I felt like I fit into the peaceful and kind culture of the Island. It was evident even at the airport that this was definitely a White personality culture!  It’s no secret that our world isn’t exactly

Hello!

Party of six, party of six, yes, six!

Who are these people? We live together, but who are we? We are a multigenerational, grand family household.

Here is the cast by generation, gender, and personality color:

Boomer Husband — Red

Boomer Wife — Red, White, and Blue

Millennial Daughter — White

Gen Z Grandson — Yellow

Gen Z Granddaughter — Red and Blue

Gen Alpha Grandson — Red and Blue

As the boomer wife and home manager, I often wonder:

I’ve been teaching Color Code interpersonal communication workshops for nearly ten years. Early on, I came across a question from a participant for which I thought I had an answer. “But what if I don’t know THEIR color?  It’s not like everyone has taken the assessment.” “Well, there’s an addendum to this course called ‘quick-coding.’” At this point, I transitioned to the quick-coding slides and pointed out the cards that teach some quick-coding strategies. Then the student said, “Yeah, this is a little helpful, but I don’t think it’s fool-proof. What if we get it wrong?” The whole class delved into a r

Many of us would be surprised to see how others view us. We have taken the Color Code assessment, and we now know our strengths and limitations, right? It turns out that there is a lot more to it. Color Code measures personality, which is innate. But throughout our lives, we develop strengths and limitations based on our experiences—Character. These behaviors can be both good and bad. CHARACTER CODE Character Code, Color Code’s new online assessment, transitions from personality to character development by inviting others to assess us anonymously. Because I was the project manager for Character Code, it was important for me to te

Recently, the Color Code team was challenged with this scenario: "I am a Red...I live with my husband and daughter who are both true Blue. They love to sit around and 'complain' about everything and anything...it drives me crazy! Always sounds like they are negative, but they say they are not. On the other hand, I love a good debate...I call enlightening conversation, they think I want to argue all the time, but I just like swapping ideas! How do we enjoy each other's style of conversation without frustration?!" As a Red daughter with a Blue mother, this scenario connected. I’m convinced my late father was a Red too, so when we

I was raised by a mom who is about as Blue as they come. She plans family events months (or even years) in advance, she is easily moved to tears, and she is passionate about her relationships. What throws me for a loop, though, is her secondary color is Yellow. Blues and Yellows are complementary opposites (emphasis on OPPOSITES), so it’s a combination that is hard for me to grasp. But something my mom always says, which is so true, is that her Yellow really shines through when she is on vacation.  One of my mom’s favorite things to do on vacation is to rent bikes and ride along the beach, park, mountain trail, or wherever it is we ar

First Off, The Two Blue Parents — A Bit Of History We met about 40 years ago and got acquainted by way of introduction. My friend mentioned to me that there was this girl…so off I went with him on this girl-finding mission. We met and got to know each other better, finding over the course of a few short visits that we had a lot of common interests. She was from Eastern Canada, and I from the West, some 1600 or so miles apart. Feeling homesick, she decided to go back to her Eastern stomping grounds. I let her go without much being said or done to prevent her from going back. Of course, letter writing was part of the deal, b

I remember the first time I did yoga. I was in a warm, smelly gymnasium, surrounded by my fellow sixth graders. The lights were dim, and my hippie-dippie sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. Harris was leading us in the zen practice she loved so dearly. I stifled laughter the entire time. The idea of pretending to be a tree or a chair could not seem crazier to me. I thought it was so stupid and did not care for the experience at all.  More than 17 years have passed, and I’ve not only come to love yoga since then, I recently started my training to become a certified yoga instructor. Maybe it’s the added stress life has handed me since the somewha

Picture this: Two people are in love, and since one of them had been married before, they endeavor to do all the right things and plan pastoral premarital counseling. They failed every test. The pastor said, “Are you sure you want to do this? The couple said, “Yes!” And they did. Several years later, they were listening to a speaker talk about the Color Code personality test. The woman enthusiastically said to the man, “I’m a Red, you’re a White, and this explains EVERYTHING!” Less than two years later, I (yes, the woman is me) certified as a Color Code personality trainer. Knowing Color Code was a game-changer