Weekly Tools and Tips to Improve Any Relationship
Although I am a core Blue personality, I scored almost just as much White on the Color Code assessment. This means that although I definitely feel like a Blue, I also greatly identify with the White personality. In some respects, this is great, because I can pinpoint the natural strengths I have from both the Blue and the White personalities. However, it also means I deal with natural limitations from both personalities, which makes it harder to become charactered since I have to learn to overcome my Blue and my White limitations.
I’m definitely far from perfect when it comes to overcoming my White limitations, but I do have experience trying! My goal today is to help other Whites identify some of their limitations and learn helpful ways to try and overcome those limitations. May we all have luck on our side as we work hard to become better individuals!
I was a very timid child and have since learned to be friendlier and have better people skills, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel shy or fearful when encountering new people and new situations. I am so fine to let other people take the reigns in conversation and to keep my opinions to myself in group settings. However, being timid is one of the White limitations! It may not be the worst thing in the world, but I definitely want to learn to be more confident like the Red or Yellow personalities and show the world I have something to offer too. Something I have tried to do to overcome my timidness is to introduce myself to new people, even when I feel uncomfortable. For example, I am at a stage in my life where I’m not “settled down” in one community yet, so I have the opportunity to meet a lot of new people as I move apartments and change jobs and such. As a Blue, I really want to make connections with people, but the White part of me is timid and it can be hard to put myself out there in new environments. So what I’ve put into practice is this: When I go to church on Sunday, I typically sit by someone new. While it’s more natural for me to want to sit there in silence until it’s time to go home, I force myself to ask the person sitting next to me what their name is and begin to engage in conversation. At worst, I have some awkward small talk but still feel good that I stepped outside my comfort zone. At best, I make a really good friend!
When I go out to eat and the waiter places a gigantic menu in front of me, my stress levels elevate! How can I decide between multiple delicious-looking entrees?! On a (much) more serious level, when I was contemplating who to marry between two amazing guys, I was a wreck! Whatever the degree of seriousness of choices to be made, Whites are indecisive and it’s not a great quality. Although it’s great to be easy-going, when your friends are constantly asking you where you want to go eat or what movie you want to go see and you can never give them an answer, it’s going to frustrate them. My husband and I both have secondary White, so deciding what to do with our free time is an almost daily dilemma. Something we’ve tried to do is to present a few options and then force each other to rule one out until we’ve reached our conclusion. For example, if we’re trying to decide what movie to watch, we’ll choose three or four options that sound good, and then each of us will take turns either choosing our top two options or ruling some out until we decide on one. It’s pretty effective!
This is a hard one for sure! I hate having difficult or awkward conversations, and I hate conflict so much that sometimes I’ll find myself agreeing with someone just to appease them. I have to start small with this one, because I’m just not ready to engage in a heavy political debate with a Red quite yet ;). But something I’m trying to do is simply stating my opinion more. Recently my husband and I were with some friends deciding what movie to watch, (it’s as if I do nothing else!) and I can’t say I had a super strong opinion about it, but I did have an opinion and they left it up to me to decide. Part of me wanted to answer the way I assumed others wanted me to answer but I decided to be more honest, and guess what? It didn’t hurt me at all! I want to commit to sharing my opinion more (as long as I’m not intentionally hurting others of course) even when it comes to sharing it during difficult conversations.
I know I only mentioned a few of the White limitations, but hey, it’s easier to start small, right? I hope my experience can help other Whites learn to grow, and that together, we can become charactered! Whether you’re boldly confronting an opponent or simply deciding which dressing to get on your salad, I wish you all the luck! 🙂
Megan Christensen graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho in 2014 with a Bachelor’s degree in communication. She previously worked as the head writer for KSL.com and is now the digital content manager for the Color Code. Her core color is Blue, but she is almost just as White.
