The Story of a Red Learning to Develop Character

Color Code facilitator Doug Pratt shares his experience of discovering Color Code and becoming charactered.

Twenty-five years ago, my boss told me we were going to do the Color Code for our organization. I said that was a waste of time. We are running a data center not an HR think tank. As you can guess, I am a Red — I was so Red I believed my Red limitations were some of my best attributes. Well, Dr. Hartman took the challenge to train me as a Color Code facilitator — I’m sure I am the most difficult person he has ever certified.

I had an interesting environment to work in on my road to developing character. My wife is a Blue, and I have a White daughter and a Yellow daughter. My mother is a Blue and my father a Red. Most of my bosses have been White. Dr. Hartman has been my Yellow model.

The road to becoming charactered was a rocky one, and it takes effort every day to make it work. I’d like to share a few examples of limitations I have overcome:

  • I could not relax and feel comfortable without producing — I drove myself and others.
  • I felt it was more important to be right than to be agreeable.
  • I was impatient with myself in completing goals.

I grew up with farmers for grandparents, a police officer father and a mother who worked. When I was not doing homework, I was doing yard work. I enlisted in the Navy right after high school graduation. I got a bootstrap commission. I managed the Navy’s computer operation for all of southern Europe. I developed an automated transportation system that saved the United States Department of Defense $100,000,000. I pushed everyone around me just as hard. But I didn’t understand that I was also pushing them away.

The Color Code provided me with the attributes of listening and being receptive to others, while also having patience. It taught me to take a slower pace and think about the problem and to ask if there was a more beneficial way to solve the puzzle. It taught me that life is an experience to be enjoyed. It made me more people-oriented and agreeable to change.

Color Code has been a life-altering experience. My ability to communicate with business contacts is phenomenal. My family life has become a blessing. My wife jokes that without the Color Code, she would have left me 20 years ago.

The evidence of my being charactered comes at each of my presentations of the Color Code. At the end, I ask the attendees what color they think I am. They all say “Yellow” and are shocked to learn that I am a Red. I now live in my strengths from all four colors and the positive behaviors I have learned from each of the colors of the Color Code.

Doug Pratt

Color Code Facilitator

OverTheWallSolutions, Owner

LCDR, SC, USN, Ret

 

Doug PrattDoug Pratt has a Bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering and computer science from the University of Kansas. He has a Master’s degree in management of information systems from George Washington University. Doug is a retired Navy Supply Officer. After 22 years in the Navy, he has spent 23 years working for Iomega, Ogden-Weber Applied Technology College, Storage Appliance Corporation, Reverse Logistics Association, MarketStar, Lockheed Martin, Home Depot and Weber State University. Doug has done volunteer work for the Red Cross, his Homeowners Association and managing the local library book sales. His core color is Red.

Appreciating the Strengths of Our Blue Children

Today we want to focus on highlighting some strengths children with Blue personalities have in the hopes that by recognizing their strengths, you can foster more gratitude as a parent.

Parenting is difficult, challenging and frustrating, but it’s also wonderful and rewarding. It’s especially great when our kids show their strengths. Of course, between the day-to-day hustle and bustle it may be hard to notice all the great things about our children. Each of our children have strengths and limitations, and although the limitations are frustrating, the strengths are beautiful. Today we want to focus on highlighting some strengths children with Blue personalities have in the hopes that by recognizing their strengths, you can foster more gratitude as a parent. Here we go!

 

Blue children are proper and behaved.

 

You don’t have to worry about your child embarrassing you out in public or when friends or neighbors come over. Your Blue children know how to act appropriately and have great manners. Blue parents will especially appreciate this one. Instead of paying for a babysitter to watch your Blue child while you attend a play or other event, bring them along! You’ll save money, and they’ll know just how to act! Next time you see a kid chewing loudly or yelling at their mom in the grocery store, thank your lucky stars you’ve got a Blue.

 

Blue children are easily disciplined verbally.

 

Lucky you! You don’t have to constantly choose another toy or gadget to take away from them when they get in trouble or worry about grounding having no effect on them. These are the kids who will feel remorse at, “I’m very disappointed in you.” Remember not to take advantage of their overly sensitive hearts by being too harsh with your words. But a good talking to should ensure their moral compass will point straight again, just as they need it to.

 

Blue children are sensitive and concerned about other family members.

 

When you’re having a bad day and need someone to turn to, your Blue child should be sympathetic. They are the children who care about your emotional well-being, and they are concerned about their siblings as well. They are a great contributor to the family because of their sensitivity toward and concern for their family members.

 

Blue children are loyal to their parents and siblings regardless of the quality of their relationship.

 

If their friends are talking down about you and your strict rules, they will defend you. If someone is speaking unkindly about one of their siblings, it will hurt them. These are the children who will support you in your old age and who will take time to maintain relationships with their siblings in adulthood. You can always count on them!

 

Do you want to hug your Blue son or daughter a little tighter now? Even though they may not always be a piece of cake to raise, they have wonderful attributes that should make parenting easier in some regards. If you’re ever having a bad day with them, just read this and remember the good.

— The Color Code Team

Learning to Overcome White Limitations

In this article, the author mentions some of the natural limitations associated with the White personality and offers advice for Whites to help them overcome these limitations.

Although I am a core Blue personality, I scored almost just as much White on the Color Code assessment. This means that although I definitely feel like a Blue, I also greatly identify with the White personality. In some respects, this is great, because I can pinpoint the natural strengths I have from both the Blue and the White personalities. However, it also means I deal with natural limitations from both personalities, which makes it harder to become charactered since I have to learn to overcome my Blue and my White limitations.

I’m definitely far from perfect when it comes to overcoming my White limitations, but I do have experience trying! My goal today is to help other Whites identify some of their limitations and learn helpful ways to try and overcome those limitations. May we all have luck on our side as we work hard to become better individuals!

 

Whites are timid

 

I was a very timid child and have since learned to be friendlier and have better people skills, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel shy or fearful when encountering new people and new situations. I am so fine to let other people take the reigns in conversation and to keep my opinions to myself in group settings. However, being timid is one of the White limitations! It may not be the worst thing in the world, but I definitely want to learn to be more confident like the Red or Yellow personalities and show the world I have something to offer too. Something I have tried to do to overcome my timidness is to introduce myself to new people, even when I feel uncomfortable. For example, I am at a stage in my life where I’m not “settled down” in one community yet, so I have the opportunity to meet a lot of new people as I move apartments and change jobs and such. As a Blue, I really want to make connections with people, but the White part of me is timid and it can be hard to put myself out there in new environments. So what I’ve put into practice is this: When I go to church on Sunday, I typically sit by someone new. While it’s more natural for me to want to sit there in silence until it’s time to go home, I force myself to ask the person sitting next to me what their name is and begin to engage in conversation. At worst, I have some awkward small talk but still feel good that I stepped outside my comfort zone. At best, I make a really good friend!

 

Whites are indecisive

 

When I go out to eat and the waiter places a gigantic menu in front of me, my stress levels elevate! How can I decide between multiple delicious-looking entrees?! On a (much) more serious level, when I was contemplating who to marry between two amazing guys, I was a wreck! Whatever the degree of seriousness of choices to be made, Whites are indecisive and it’s not a great quality. Although it’s great to be easy-going, when your friends are constantly asking you where you want to go eat or what movie you want to go see and you can never give them an answer, it’s going to frustrate them. My husband and I both have secondary White, so deciding what to do with our free time is an almost daily dilemma. Something we’ve tried to do is to present a few options and then force each other to rule one out until we’ve reached our conclusion. For example, if we’re trying to decide what movie to watch, we’ll choose three or four options that sound good, and then each of us will take turns either choosing our top two options or ruling some out until we decide on one. It’s pretty effective!

 

Whites avoid conflict

 

This is a hard one for sure! I hate having difficult or awkward conversations, and I hate conflict so much that sometimes I’ll find myself agreeing with someone just to appease them. I have to start small with this one, because I’m just not ready to engage in a heavy political debate with a Red quite yet ;). But something I’m trying to do is simply stating my opinion more. Recently my husband and I were with some friends deciding what movie to watch, (it’s as if I do nothing else!) and I can’t say I had a super strong opinion about it, but I did have an opinion and they left it up to me to decide. Part of me wanted to answer the way I assumed others wanted me to answer but I decided to be more honest, and guess what? It didn’t hurt me at all! I want to commit to sharing my opinion more (as long as I’m not intentionally hurting others of course) even when it comes to sharing it during difficult conversations.

 

I know I only mentioned a few of the White limitations, but hey, it’s easier to start small, right? I hope my experience can help other Whites learn to grow, and that together, we can become charactered! Whether you’re boldly confronting an opponent or simply deciding which dressing to get on your salad, I wish you all the luck! 🙂

 

Megan Christensen graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho in 2014 with a Bachelor’s degree in communication. She previously worked as the head writer for KSL.com and is now the digital content manager for the Color Code. Her core color is Blue, but she is almost just as White.

3 Essential Steps for Healthy Personal Change

The three essential steps for healthy personal change are: 1. Get Yourself. 2. Value Yourself. 3. Get Over Yourself.

Have you ever seen this kind of story play out either in your own life or in somebody else’s?

Let’s say there’s a woman named Nicole who is unhappy with life. She just really doesn’t feel very successful, so she vows to change. She ends up taking massive action and focusing like she never has before. Things start to change for Nicole, and she starts stacking up victories. Her persistence eventually leads her to achieve great financial success!

…But she’s still not happy, and she can’t figure out what went wrong.

Do you know someone like Nicole?

My guess is that you’ve probably seen something like that played out before. Of course, the scenario could be different. It doesn’t have to be about money. It could be about getting into a relationship, or losing weight, or moving to a new location, or having a child, or changing careers, or any number of other things.

It’s not that any of those goals won’t bring happiness or fulfillment either. They absolutely can! Change can be wonderful — especially if you pursue it in a healthy way and set yourself up for success.

Here are my three tips for doing just that:

  1. Get Yourself.
  2. Value Yourself.
  3. Get Over Yourself.

I’ll explain. 😉

 

1. Get Yourself.

This one should be no secret and is perhaps the most obvious place to start. If you don’t yet understand the power of Self-Awareness, it’s probably time to start… 

I mean, Socrates is the one who coined the phrase, “know thyself”, and the guy’s been dead for over 2,400 years!

It makes sense that you truly have to understand who you are and what makes you “tick” before starting on your journey to create change.

Taking the Color Code assessment is a great way to begin this process of self-discovery, as we help you determine the type of Driving Core Motive that powers your personality and affects your emotional needs and wants.

But let’s move on to the next step…

 

2. Value Yourself.

Here’s where the wheels come off for a lot of people. They assume that by creating the change they want by adopting new habits, etc., they will be led to happiness.

This is not always true.

It CAN be, but you have to start from a healthy place where you value yourself first. Too often when it comes to change, people are trying to create it because they have a deeply-rooted belief that they are not good enough.

What I mean is that somebody, somewhere, or perhaps society/popular culture, convinced them that they are not valuable just as they are — that somehow, they are fundamentally flawed. We can even convince ourselves of this.

Sometimes this way of thinking happens when we constantly compare ourselves to others. I’m a Yellow, so it might be easy for me to look at a Red who is completely focused on their career and wish I could be that way. Then I might look at a Blue who is naturally organized and feel bad about myself for not being so as well. Then I begin to envy somebody with a White personality because of how patient they are.

Every time we compare ourselves to others in a way that results in negative self-talk, we chip away at our own feelings of self-worth.

Comparisons are dangerous, because we forget that just because somebody has different talents than ours, it doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own special abilities as well — and that they are not just as remarkable!

(Please Note: Comparisons are equally dangerous if they make us feel superior to others because they can’t do certain things that we can do.)

If we first value who we are, then we embark on the change process because we want to add to what is already good, then we know that the change can and usually will lead to the increase in happiness that we are seeking.

 

3. Get Over Yourself.

The cartoonist Walt Kelly is famous for writing, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

It’s true, isn’t it? We have a knack for getting in our own way. Sometimes our very strengths taken too far create limitations. Take Blues for example. Once, when talking about Blue strengths and limitations, I asked a group what the difference was between being detail conscious (a Blue strength) and being a perfectionist (a Blue limitation).

In a quick-witted reply, one of the participants quipped, “About five hours!”

So we have to take inventory of ourselves. Let’s focus on our strengths, but not allow our limitations to dictate the outcome of our efforts. This takes constant, vigilant monitoring, but it can be done.

The other way that we need to “get over ourselves” is when we just take ourselves too seriously. In the change process, a little humility can go a very long way.

 

My promise to you is that if you apply these three steps to the changes in life that you are trying to make, you will give yourself every opportunity for a lasting, happy and positive outcome.

Onward and upward!

Jeremy Daniel

 

Jeremy DanielJeremy Daniel is the Vice President of Training for Color Code. He leads our Trainer Certification Program and has been teaching the Color Code and delivering motive-based applications to clients internationally since 1998.

Raising Reds — Five Tips for Parenting Your Red Child Like a Pro!

For today’s post I thought I would share with you five tips that seem to do wonders in the lives of a Red child and his/her parent based on both the research of Color Code and the personal experiences of a few of us here in the office.

My son is only 4 years old, but I can tell you right now he is a Red personality.

Thankfully I’ve had the Color Code in my life since before he was born so what would have DEFINITELY upset me without having a prior knowledge of Motive now has become a matter of amusement, appreciation and guidance. That’s the big gift of Color Code for parents as far as I can see it. It gives us tools to speak our kids’ languages and see where they’re coming from instead of wanting to kill them at times. 😉

So, with that in mind, for today’s post I thought I would share with you five tips that seem to do wonders in the lives of a Red child and his/her parent based on both the research of Color Code and the personal experiences of a few of us here in the office. We challenge you to apply them and write us back in the comments with how things are going. We bet you will be surprised at how helpful they can be — even if they just help you keep your cool when you’d rather scream…

And one last thing before we dive in: Remember, we preach 100% Responsibility here at the Color Code so have some fun dreaming up ways to implement these ideas into your own parenting style! Here we go:

 

1. Present all your issues logically. Yes, yes you’ve heard that before but let’s put it in the context of a Red kid. Most children naturally want to know the whats and whys of life but Reds feel this want much stronger than the other personality types. Why they have to do something in particular lol. And don’t say to them, “Well, if you love me” or “Because I’m your father” — that won’t work so hot with them. Remember they have that logical drive. They are not looking for direction in the name of emotion. They literally want to know why they have to do it from a logical angle. Of course, this doesn’t always work well, and sometimes you just gotta say, “because I said so,” but as long as you know that they innately crave logic you’ll be in better shape.

2. Just like with adult Reds, you need to be direct and brief in your conversations with a Red child. They don’t want all the details. Be very specific and very brief as a general rule and then feel it out from there. This used to annoy me, but now I appreciate how much time my son saves me when he just wants to cut to the chase, because, I mean, as parents we are very busy all the time, right? Finding ways to look on the bright side of my son’s limitations has been a lifesaver. I encourage you to give it a try.

How to Raise a RED KID

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Offer them leadership opportunities. There’s a good chance our Red children are probably better leaders than we ever will be lol. And talk about negotiating skills. My 4-year-old can run circles around me, both his grandmas and grandpa without breaking a sweat. He seriously negotiates deals I never would’ve dreamed of as a child lol. It’s amazing. And according to office chat, my son is definitely not the only Red around with these mad skills. Even Red children can be more organized, more precise, more direct than some adults! Sure, they’re blunt, a little rough around the edges and you have to work with them, but be grateful you have a Red child if only for this strength because it means they certainly won’t be surfing your couch in 20 years. Instead, they probably will be running the country or some big corporation!

4. Support their decisive nature. One awesome tip I picked up from Dr. Hartman (the author of “The Color Code”) years ago that has helped me with my son in the mornings is this: If you have a child that’s around three or four and wants to wear only what they want to wear, that’s not a problem, you simply say, “You may wear this or this.” And if they start fighting you, say, “You may wear this or this, or anything else you can pick in one minute.” You’ll be amazed. You’ll own them, because they will show you how quick they are. Typically, they won’t wear what you want them to wear, but it doesn’t matter. You made your point AND you’ve supported their decisive nature and can still get out the door in time. Boom!

5. Finally, don’t take their arguments personally. If they tell you they hate you it doesn’t mean a thing. We promise. It just means they didn’t get their way. We’ve discussed this many times around the office (as I mentioned, a few of us are raising Reds). They are just upset and will get over it quickly and expect you to do the same. This has been the case 100 percent of the time as all of us knew better than to let it turn into a “big deal” by getting hung up about it on an emotional level. Thanks, Color Code 🙂

Well there you go! Five tips for parenting your Red child like a pro! We hope you find them useful and make the time to implement them as you see fit! And for the parents of Reds out there: What other ideas have worked for you? Please share in the comments so we can all help each other out. After all, it takes a village. 😉

Here’s to you and your Red.

Cheers!

Joe England and The Color Code Team

 

joeJoe England has known about the Color Code ever since 1994 when his Grandpa caused quite a family controversy by “quick coding” everyone.  Luckily, Joe could see the value in what Grandpa Don was going for and years later, when the opportunity arose to work for the Color Code in marketing and product development, Joe jumped at the chance. He is a Yellow, enjoys Swedish Fish, travel, surfing, snowboarding and being a dad. 

Improving Your Relationship With Your Yellow Child

In this article, we will mention some of the limitations Yellows have as children and offer advice on the things you should or shouldn’t do as parents to maintain the best relationship you can with your child in spite of their frustrating limitations.

Just like every other color, Yellow children come with natural strengths and natural limitations. Obviously, the strengths are great while the limitations can be frustrating. But don’t worry, we’re here to help!  

In this article, we will mention some of the limitations Yellows have as children and offer advice on the things you should or shouldn’t do as parents to maintain the best relationship you can with your child in spite of these sometimes frustrating limitations.

Yellow children tease siblings constantly

 

If they’ve got Blue siblings, this can be especially tough! However, to have the best relationship with a Yellow, you must accept SOME playful teasing or joking. Remember, Yellows like to have fun! It is their motive in life! Try to find a balance with the teasing. Of course you shouldn’t let your Yellow child constantly hurt your Blue child’s feelings, but don’t lay down the law every time Mr. or Miss Yellow plays a practical joke on a family member. Teach your other children not to take it personally and let them know they can tease their sibling back! If anyone can take it, a Yellow can!

Yellow children are sassy and demanding

 

This is a tough one! Of course it can be hurtful to hear your child sass you and unless you’re a White, you probably don’t have the patience for a demanding child. Although you shouldn’t make allowances for sassy and demanding behavior in your child, you should recognize that in order to have the best relationship with your Yellow child, you need to remember they are more sensitive than they seem. So although they may sass you, throwing back an angry or hurtful retort may really hurt their feelings.

Yellow children prefer to take the easy road whenever possible

 

This might be hard for you as a parent when your Yellow child is stuffing everything in their closet rather than organizing it or doing the bare minimum to scrape by in school. However, if you want to have the best relationship with your Yellow child that you can, do not demand perfection. Blues, that especially means you! Rather than demanding perfection from them, try to meet them halfway. Don’t allow them to keep a terribly messy room, but teach them the value of a junk drawer! Encourage and expect them to make solid efforts on their homework, but reward them with fun activities when the work is done.

Yellow children are more concerned with friends than family

 

Ouch! Although you may wish your child wanted to spend more time with you, do not control their schedules or totally consume their time if you want to have the best relationship with them. You don’t want them to resent you and to push them away further. Yellows are social beings, let them have time with their friends. But remember, Yellows’ motive in life is fun, so try planning fun family activities that they’ll want to be a part of! Maybe they’ll be even more inclined to participate if you let them bring a friend along.

 

Parenting requires a lot of patience, yes, but the payoff will be much better if you have the best relationship with your child that you can. Hopefully our advice helps, and you can better understand and work with your Yellow son or daughter. Don’t forget to have fun! (They’ll need it!)
—The Color Code Team

4 Tips to Help Blues Combat Their Worry

Blues who struggle with over-worrying will find helpful tips to combat their worry in this post.

The other day I came across some literature of ours that says: “One Blue man finally gave up worry in his eighties. He told me he had worried needlessly all his life and it had cost him dearly. Most of what he worried about never happened, yet he had robbed himself of enjoying the present moment for so many years. He said that he finally woke up one day and said to himself, ‘No more! If it hasn’t happened to me by now, chances are it won’t ever happen. So let it go!’ And he did. He had paid his debt in time and energy and was finally free simply to be.”

That passage both resonated with me and scared me. I am a world-class worrier! One of the natural limitations of the Blue personality is being worry-prone, and I am not exempt! However, just like that old man, it costs me dearly and I don’t want to be in my eighties to figure out a way to stop worrying.

Although I have not mastered a way to combat my worrying, it’s something I really want to work on, and I’m sure other Blues feel the same. So in an effort to help myself and others, I want to provide readers with a few tips for stifling their worry. Here goes!

 1. Befriend a Yellow

 

Marrying a Yellow is the best decision I’ve ever made. His optimism makes a world of difference with my worry! When I come down with a doomsday attitude, he is right there to point out how ridiculous I’m being, to laugh at or with me or to simply soothe my anxious heart. I greatly admire the Yellow ability to be optimistic, and it’s something I’d like to master. For the time being, I’m able to allow my husband’s optimism to help me out of my consistently worried state. I know not every Blue marries a Yellow, but you surely have a Yellow friend or someone you can make friends with who will hopefully have the same effect!

2. Find a distracting hobby

 

For me, reading is almost like therapy. Stepping outside my own world and into someone else’s is a nice way to escape my worries and find enjoyment and relaxation. I also recently picked up knitting. The rhythmic pattern of making knit and purl stitches miraculously soothes my anxiety and helps me channel my worried energy more productively. Is there something you’re passionate about that you can’t live without? Next time you feel like you can’t escape worry, escape into your distracting hobby!

3. Meditate

 

You knew this was coming, didn’t you? From experience, I can say this is a healthy and productive way to calm yourself down and get a better handle on life. I personally enjoy yoga, because it helps me practice centering my mind on one thought rather than letting it spin out of control like I do so many times when I’m stressed. I love after the yoga is done and I get to meditate, because my body is able to relax and I only allow myself to think positively. In the past, I’ve tried mindfulness meditation while trying to fall asleep at night. I recommend this YouTube video.

4. Self-talk

 

If we’re so good at talking ourselves into worry, why can’t we try talking ourselves out of worry? It might feel silly, but next time you’re freaking out about something, take a step back and tell yourself you got this. Tell yourself everything that is going right in your life and remind yourself of times in the past when you got yourself out of sticky situations. Seriously, remind yourself of your own capability, focus on the positive, put whatever you’re worrying about into perspective and breathe out!

I know practicing what I’m preaching is way easier said than done, but if we actively focus our minds on trying these methods and making efforts to overcome worrying so much, I believe we can do it! Take a lesson from the man in the story at the beginning of this post and don’t let yourself grow old before you stop worrying so much. Blues, we got this!

Megan Christensen graduated from Brigham Young University-Idaho in 2014 with a Bachelor’s degree in communication. She previously worked as the head writer for KSL.com and is now the digital content manager for the Color Code. Her core color is Blue, but she is almost just as White.

 

Five Things Whites Should Do Before They’re Thirty

In this article, The Color Code Team gives the White personality a list of five things they should do before they turn 30 so they can combat some of their limitations and improve themselves.

Whites are wonderful. There is no denying that. They are kind, even-tempered, accepting, inventive and balanced, among other great qualities. Anyone who doesn’t have a healthy White in their life needs to drop what they’re doing and go seek a White friend. You’ll thank us later.

Of course, we could brag about Whites all day, but what good would it do if we only ever talked about the strengths of every color? Although it can be discouraging to hear about our limitations, it’s essential for character growth.

Whites are timid, inexpressive and they avoid conflict. They can also be boring and uninvolved. It might sting a little to hear limitations you may or may not be aware of already, but we are here to provide you with a list of five things Whites should do before they’re 30 in an effort to help you stretch yourself and combat some of these limitations. Ready, set, go!

Five Things Whites Should Do Before They’re Thirty

 

1. Initiate and carry on a legitimate conversation with a stranger

 

Whites are timid. They can be afraid of emotional exposure and drama. Whites also carry a sense of self doubt. Even if they look peaceful on the outside, they may be questioning their capabilities on the inside. Whites, we know you like your solitude, but try combating some of your timidity and self-doubt by reaching out to someone you’d like to get to know and continue to converse with them for at least 15 minutes! At best, you’ll make a good friend, and at worst, you can still pat yourself on the back for being brave and stepping outside your comfort zone!

 

2. React from an emotional perspective. Risk with your heart.

 

Whites do not easily trust others. They usually hide what they’re really feeling from others who may judge or disapprove of them. Whites don’t express themselves very much, and while some don’t mind others having to assume what their beliefs, fears, hopes and dreams are, others wish they could find the words to express themselves adequately. For the White readers out there, try choosing more people to trust, and share the feelings deep inside your heart with them. It’ll help you connect on a deeper level, which they may appreciate and which may help you feel relieved.

 

3. Break a Blue’s heart

 

OK Whites, we know you’re probably too kind to do this, but try to view it as less about actually breaking their heart and more about becoming more comfortable with confrontation (with any color, really). Did you know Whites prefer the silent treatment to confrontation? Whites definitely have opinions, but they also keep them to themselves, which leaves the other colors guessing. Whites are also more likely to be passive-aggressive than the other colors because it allows them to appear cordial without dealing with overt conflict. Whites, try sharing your opinion more, even if you’re afraid it will offend someone else. Of course you can still show tact so you’re not purposely hurting someone, but don’t be afraid to own up to the fact that you don’t like a certain movie or that you don’t agree with someone else’s opinions.

 

4. Spontaneously do something — anything — at least three times

 

Whites can be boring. They themselves may not be bored, but they are the type to passively let life happen to them. Rather than being the one to entertain, they wait for others to entertain them.  Whites, you may not like having this limitation, but don’t worry — you don’t have to! Sure, it may not be easy or natural, but start trying to be more exciting by doing something spontaneous. If you want to go big, try booking a surprise trip for you and a friend or you and your spouse. If you’re not ready to go quite that spontaneous, try doing something like going to the movies mid-week instead of waiting for the weekend. And don’t stop there! Do it at least three times!

 

5. Keep your subtle witty comments flowing at all times and with everyone

 

Whites, you may be timid and uninvolved in conversations or certain relationships, but try not to be afraid of letting your unique personality come through so everyone can get to know the real you. Maybe you feel like others don’t know the real you because you’re more quiet around them than with your close friends and family. It might be hard, but try voicing your wit more around those you’re not totally comfortable with. They’ll probably appreciate it!

 

Well, there you go, Whites. You’re set on a road to improvement, and don’t worry, you don’t have to be under 30 to participate in this list. For the Whites who’ve mastered some or all of the items on this list, how did it feel? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

 

— The Color Code Team