“Don’t mind me. I’m a Blue…”

I was in a crowded restaurant when I overheard the comment from another table. My first thought was, “Good. People are using the Color Code.” My second thought was, “But the context in which she was using it was as an excuse for her bad behavior.”

It reminded me about the time I was trying to explain to my angry ‘tween granddaughter that she (Red) and her mother (Blue) are both strong and controlling. The relationship will have natural obstacles and she should try to understand her mother’s need to plan, organize and carry out all aspects of her daughter’s life. This is her way of showing love.

She went home that night and told her mother, “Grandma says you are controlling and that I will NEVER get along with you because you’re a BLUE!”

The phone call I got wasn’t pretty. “Did you tell my daughter…?!”

I asked her to put my granddaughter on the phone. After patiently reminding her about the conversation we did have, I put on my best Red voice and said, “Never use the Color Code for evil.”

But how many of us do, in fact, use the Color Code to validate bad behavior? I hear it all the time—even in Color Code corporate office. It’s hard to resist. But, we are doing ourselves, and others a disservice by using Color Code as a crutch.

I was talking to a couple the one night. The topic of kids came up and I asked them how their oldest son, an adult who still lived with them, was doing.

“He’s not working right now,” they said.

“No, he isn’t dating,” they said.

“He’s very quiet, no trouble at all,” they said.

Then in confidential tones, she put her hand to her mouth and with a knowing nod of the head, whispered, “He’s a White”, as though being White was a debilitating medical condition that explained everything.

The truth is most Whites are charismatic, intelligent, inventive, good listeners, great providers, and can be quite sociable in a quiet sort of way. This young man and his parents have blamed his driving core motive for his unhealthy behaviors and accepted it as his lot in life.

I’m guilty of the same. If my son doesn’t pay his phone bill and the service is disconnected, I say, “Oh, that Yellow,” when the truth is, he was irresponsible and shouldn’t get a pass because of his color…not to mention it isn’t fair to Yellows. By making that statement, I, in essence, classified every Yellow is irresponsible, which just isn’t true.

There is no doubt that every color has potential good and bad attributes and knowing them can be extremely helpful—but not life altering. You mustn’t sit around using the fact that you are a particular color as an excuse for all the shortcomings in your life.

Once you recognize that personality is an innate gift, while character is achieved, Color Code provides you with the tools to do something about the bad and create something pretty remarkable with the good. Remember, you are 100% responsible for your personal actions and relationships.

Throw away the crutch and start living the life you really want to live.  CC

Teresa Glenn has been working with the Color Code since 2006, where her main focus is product development. She has been in the publishing and product development field for over 20 years. Teresa is a core Red with a strong Yellow secondary.