Dear Jeremy,

I recently read in the People Code book that both Reds and Whites are very logic-based in general, which can be a positive element in a Red-White relationship. I have to say that this did surprise me a little, though, as I’m a White married to a Red, and he seems to be much more emotional than I do at times. Can you explain why that is? Is he an emotional Red, maybe?

Regards,

Julie

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Dear Julie,

Thank you so much for the excellent question because it does seem paradoxical that Reds would display much emotion. I know exactly what you are talking about, though, and I hope that this simple explanation makes sense to you…

First of all, you are correct in that Reds and Whites are both logic-based. (Blues and Yellows are more emotion-based). And, while I don’t know your husband personally, my guess is that he is probably not an “emotional Red”. However, I suppose that if he had a strong Blue or Yellow Secondary Color, that may actually be true when he is drawing from his Secondary.

For my “official” answer, though, I just want to treat this as though he were a Red purist with no significant Secondary Color. I want to do it this way to show that even in situations with individuals who are extremely Red, their behavior may indeed be more emotionally demonstrative than that of a White.

The reason why Reds can display more emotion in their behavior—in a word—is simply “urgency”. Reds have to get things done. They need to get from point “A” to point “B”, because they are motivated by Power. When they get stuck or delayed, or when things aren’t happening according to plan, they can get extremely frustrated and angry. They don’t feel like they are in control, or they are afraid of falling short, so they lose their cool and erupt.

Whites, on the other hand, usually stay in a place of rational thinking for a lot longer – sometimes indefinitely. That’s why when you compare these two logical thinkers/processors, a Red will appear to be much more emotional than a White. They are not usually emotional in the sense that they want to share feelings or think from an emotional standpoint, but they do display a lot more frustration, anger, impatience, and/or anxiety when things feel out of their control.

Thanks, so much, Julie, for your question, and I do hope that this explanation helps.

Very best of living,

Jeremy Daniel
Training Director
Color Code International